Category Archives: humor

My son’s one-liner

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With the stress and pressure of Pesach upon everyone my son found a way to bring a smile and loud laugh to his Abba. Shabbos night after dinner my 8 yr old uberson and I were looking at his library book, Guiness World Records To The Extreme. It had some pretty wild things in it like the person with the longest nose, longest fingernails, longest toenails, longest beard, longest ear-hair, etc. In my own way of trying to show him that most things in the our world can be seen through the eye of the Torah, I mentioned to him that there is a bracha that one says when they see “strange and unusual people”.

He, in his most serious 2nd grader voice, looked me in the eyes and said, “I’ve heard of that bracha, Abba. I think it’s “sh’lo a’sanni freak!” And then he fell off the sofa laughing! My wife and were cracking up, too.

While we do try into instill the idea of kavod habrius in our kids, I was pretty impressed with his quick wit.

A peak at how I think

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Although my wife and I loved the Shaloch Manos that we made this year. I had several other ideas that I knew wouldn’t even make the cut. Here’s one of them:

Nineteen of these:

One of these:

Packaged in this box:

Can you guess the theme?

Missionaries and the Jedi Mind Trick

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Recently, while leaving a kosher supermarket in Skokie, IL, I noticed a man putting out a stack of booklets titled “THE END IS NEAR” published by the “Assembly of God” near the entrance/exit of the store.

I was in a good mood and knowing that a lot of non-observant Jews go shopping at this store, I felt that I needed to do something. I approached the man and said, “Hi.” He replied back and then I looked him in the eyes and said, in my best Jedi voice (soft, yet sure of myself), “Please, give me all of your booklets, now.”
He told me that I could have one. I then said, “These are not the coverts that you are looking for. Please give me all of your booklets now.”
“These are not the…what?” he said.
“These Jews that go shopping here are not the converts that you are looking for. You’re better off giving your booklets to non-Jews”, I told him. Again I said, “Please, give me all of your booklets now.”
“I’d be happy to give you one”, was his reply this time.
“Nevertheless, you will give me all of your booklets. Do you not believe in your New Testament?” I asked.
“Sure I do”, he said.
“Are you familiar with Luke 6:30? I believe it says, “Give to he who asks…”
“Yeah, I guess it does,” he said.
“So my friend. I would like all of your booklets,” I said.
I got them!
As I walked away, I smiled to him and left with these words, “You serve your master well and you will be rewarded.”
Of couse, the booklets ended up in the garbage.

Make your own Uberdox Post

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Pick a, b, or c and have fun!!

The other day I was ________ and I was reminded about very deep mussar concept that is usually overlooked.
a) thinking about Star Wars
b) listening to an old hardcore punk rock album
c) reading either R Hirsch or R Dessler

Interestingly enough this concept was manifested in something my kids _______ last night before bedtime.
a) did
b) said
c) ate


I was then reminded of a story about ________ that had a profound impact on me when I was becoming Torah observant.
a) R Yisrael Salanter
b) R Nachman of Breslov
c) coffee

The story has to do with how we use our ________ to the best of our abilities.
a) time
b) unique talents
c) free wireless connections

This lesson isn’t really focused on so much in ________, but really starts at home.
a) the yeshiva/day school system
b) most blogs
c) your average kehillah

I guess, in the end, getting to know yourself can be a pretty difficult job. Thanks for reading. An actually post will be popping up soon.

NEW BOOK BANNED!!!

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The book that I’ve been working on for over a year has been banned by major Orthodox organizations before it has even officially gone to press. After seeking several approbations from respected individuals within the Torah observant community, I have been asked not to proceed with my publication. This will not stop me! Cross-Currents is currenly debating this whole issue and several other bloggers are showing major support for me.

The book, titled YOU DIDN’T HEAR THIS FROM ME, contains inspiring stories about Gadolim, Rabbonim, and present day talmidei chachamim. The unique thing about this book is that it tells the amazing stories of people whose written works have, at one time or another, been banned by the Orthodox community. It also tells the stories behind the banned publications.

That right, finally there is a book about banned books that’s already being banned before it comes out! Included are stores about such giants as the RAMBAM and the RAMCHAL. It also includes more recent stories about indviduals like Rabbi Naftali Zvi Yehuda Berlin (the Netziv), Rabbi Adin Steinsaltz, and Rabbi Noson Slifkin.

As a bonus the book also contains my award winning essay on The Catcher In The Rye, titled “Holden Caulfield- Phoniness, Angst, Rebellon, and other factors that lead to At-Risk-Teens and what we can do to bring them to Teshuva”.

Self-published copies of YOU DIDN’T HEAR THIS FROM ME are currently available for sale on eBay.

Freilichen Purim

New Product

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Are you tired of actually feeling anything when performing mitzvos?
Are you tired of not looking ‘frum enough’ for your friends, neighbors, or family members?
Do you long to give off the impression of being machmir on everything except menschlikeit?
Don’t you spend too much time thinking about your connection to your creator?
Then maybe you’re ready to try…


That’s right, it’s Frumda brand sweetener. Created in the Modern Uberdox lab just in time for Purim. It’s made from the finest Frumkeit available and, of course, leave a terrible taste in mouths of those you meet. Just add it your next cup of coffee and you’ll be ready to put absolutely no effort into your Yiddishkeit!!!

Freilichen Purim!!

Pareve Coke Blak à la Uberdox

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I admit, I like Coke Blak (or as I call it among my friends ‘Coke BlakHat’). I tried it right when I got the “ok” from the cRc and the OU. I actually was the first to ask the cRc about it. One problem…it’s dairy.

This make it difficult for someone who eats/drinks Cholov Yisroel to enjoy this great drink.
This wasn’t an issue for me Shavuos night, as we ate dairy. The extra jolt really helped during my night of learning.

But I’ve often thought how much I’d enjoy Coke Blak with my chulent on Shabbos (or even in the chulent for a turbo charged treat).

I’ve found that taking a 12 oz can of Coke and adding an 1-2oz of black coffee give you about the same taste. And you can enjoy it with fleishigs!

This is not a blog posting

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REVISED:

I once saw a great band t-shirt. The t-shirt said: THIS IS NOT A FUGAZI T-SHIRT. That was the whole shirt. IMHO this was a great marketing technique. It was a commercially non-commercial way to promote the band. Ironically, the t-shirt was not an official band produced shirt, as the band was totally against comercial marketing.

Ever since I’ve been reading blogs and, for sure since the inception of this blog, I’ve been impressed with those bloggers who post on a daily basis. I admire it and, at times, wish I had the diligence to do the same. Blogs (don’t feel bad if I don’t mention yours) such as A Simple Jew, Hirhurim, Emes Ve-Emunah, Serandez, Psycho Toddler, or BeyondBT serve up fresh postings on a daily basis. No only are the postings well written, but make one think and grow as a Jew. One of the keys to a successful blog is updated content, so I’ve been told.

Since Shabbos, I’ve taken a slight break from looking at blogs (with the exception of one blog yesterday) or posting on this one. It has little to do with lack of motivation to write (Baruch Hashem) and more to do with increasing my productivity outside the blogosphere.

Of course, in the next day or two, when I revert to looking at blogs, I’ll have a million posts on my google reader to go through, but that’s alright. To those that post daily…Kol Hakavod.

Postscript: The truth is that what I thought to be a cute title and post is really not so cute. To attempt to sensationalize my day to day life and spin it into something more than it is, is really norishkeit. As pointed out to me by a reader, this posting adds nothing to my own Avodas Hashem and is not in keeping with the themes and topics that I normally write about. To that reader, I say thanks!