Missionaries and the Jedi Mind Trick

Recently, while leaving a kosher supermarket in Skokie, IL, I noticed a man putting out a stack of booklets titled “THE END IS NEAR” published by the “Assembly of God” near the entrance/exit of the store.

I was in a good mood and knowing that a lot of non-observant Jews go shopping at this store, I felt that I needed to do something. I approached the man and said, “Hi.” He replied back and then I looked him in the eyes and said, in my best Jedi voice (soft, yet sure of myself), “Please, give me all of your booklets, now.”
He told me that I could have one. I then said, “These are not the coverts that you are looking for. Please give me all of your booklets now.”
“These are not the…what?” he said.
“These Jews that go shopping here are not the converts that you are looking for. You’re better off giving your booklets to non-Jews”, I told him. Again I said, “Please, give me all of your booklets now.”
“I’d be happy to give you one”, was his reply this time.
“Nevertheless, you will give me all of your booklets. Do you not believe in your New Testament?” I asked.
“Sure I do”, he said.
“Are you familiar with Luke 6:30? I believe it says, “Give to he who asks…”
“Yeah, I guess it does,” he said.
“So my friend. I would like all of your booklets,” I said.
I got them!
As I walked away, I smiled to him and left with these words, “You serve your master well and you will be rewarded.”
Of couse, the booklets ended up in the garbage.

17 thoughts on “Missionaries and the Jedi Mind Trick

  1. Neil Harris

    Thanks for all the comments. My wife, at first, didn’t believe me either. However as I told the story to her she realized that truth is stranger than fiction (plus I’ve been playing Jedi Knight II and Battlefront lately).
    It happened that the person putting out the booklets was sort of a foot soldier for the Assembly of God and probably wasn’t trained in the Jedi Arts. Psychotoddler had it correct. Sadly, less than a block away from the same supermarket is a Jews for J “Resource Center” that seems to always have someone stopping by. While “anger, fear, and agression are the ways of the dark side” we must strenthen our Torah, Avodah, and Gemilus Chassadim to combat the darkness.

    I eagerly await the day that someone comes over to me and says, “Aren’t you a little short for a Blogger?” 🙂

  2. Neil Harris

    I wish it was that simple with the Jews for J…
    Every time I pass that place I am reminded that there are those w/o the opportunites I had to learn about Yiddishkeit that are easy prey.

  3. Lion of Zion


    a lot of times these people know tanakh better than we (at least I) do.

    nice tactic to use their own scriptures against them. and that is true jedi–one who knows how to use his enemy’s force against himself

  4. Neil Harris

    Lion of Judah: Most of these people are quite well versed, true. The fellow I met up with was sort of a ‘foot soldier’ or even the ‘chief water boy’.

    Prag: I actually alerted the store owner after my episode took place.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *