Category Archives: personal

Summer of Sequels…

3 Replies
(Make slick signs here)

As I was walking through a hotel I caught a feature on CNN this past Sunday about how this summer boasts an unpresidented high number of movie sequels.
They interviewed a person representing the movie industry who said that now there is so much uncertainty in America with the war in Iraq and the upcoming presidential election (topics that are not usually covered on this blog) that movie goers are looking for stability. Audiences, he said, are looking for familiar faces and movie brands that they can count on.

He’s right, we do crave the familiar. At least, I do.

I remember hearing a tape by Rabbi Akiva Tatz (the Chicago Community Kollel brough him in to speak in 1998 and I purchased a tape) discuss the idea that ones’ neshama naturally gravitates toward mitzvos. That’s why, he said, when someone becoming observant learns a concept or a certain halacha dealing with Shabbos or Kashrus, for example, it clicks or makes sense to him or her. We feel as if we ‘knew it’ already.

It could also be why lighting the menorah and having some sort of a Pesach seder are the most common Jewish ‘rituals’ celebrated by our not-yet-Observant brothers and sisters (see this post). On a neshama level we connect with these actions.
There are time in life when I hear, see, or am reminded of something and a wave of happiness, content, or excitement comes over me.
Example: Several years ago I was able to hear Rav Shmuel Brazil daven Hallel on Simchas Torah in Yeshva Shor Yoshuv. Whenever I hear certain niggunim I am transported back to an incredible 45 minutes of intense davening and simcha.
Example: After about a year of living in Indianapolis I stumbled upon a 7-11 store. Ahhh…Slurpees! A favorite drink of mine anytime of the year. Just seeing those familar numbers “7” and “11” gave me a weird feeling of comfort. It’s the same way when we drive to New York and start seeing signs for different expressways, bridges, and tunnels.
The neshama (and in the case of Slurpees, the guf) craves what it knows…Torah and Mitzvos. It’s interesting what things we hold dear from childhood through adulthood.

So, coming back to sequels (yes, I intended to make the pun…ha-ha), this is trend of the “summer of sequels” might just be an echo of something much more deep. Thanks for reading!

Finally, something new

5 Replies

Firstly, thanks to those who check daily for a new post. Sorry it’s been a while.

While I do have several posting that are, like, 85% complete sitting as drafts in my Blogger Dashboard. I’ve been waiting for just the right topic to grab me and say, “This would be a great post.”

In truth, it was just an excuse not to write. I’m not really motivated to write, but I need to. For now this will have to do.

I had planned on posting something pre-Shavuos, but had a family situation that made any postings pretty much meaningless.

I’ve spent over 30 hours during the past two weeks on highways looking at the following printed word emblazoned on the back of semi-trucks: IF YOU CAN’T SEE MY MIRRORS I CAN’T SEE YOU.

As much as I tell myself that what others think about me doesn’t really matter, it’s only a 1/2 truth. To quote an influential hardcore punk icon, “Others matter, but only in the proper perspective. What really matters are the ones who love you”.

Certain aspects of who we are and what we do, say or write about are meant to be seen by others. If someone looking in a mirror can’t see you driving behind them, it’s as if you don’t exist. It does not mean that your existence is based only on being seen by everyone.

I’m a bit mixed up, I admit. I blog under my own name. I don’t hide the fact that I blog, but I don’t really advertise it either. I’ve let some friends know that I blog, others have no clue. I know of someone who would have really shepped nachas from what I’ve written. I, sadly, never shared this aspect of my life with that person.

If you think someone outside of the blogosphere might enjoy what you have to say take a moment and share before the moment is gone.

It was 30 years ago today

8 Replies

Orginially planned for posting on 5/25/07

I could really pen multiple posts about Star Wars: A New Hope, but in truth, it was hard to pinpoint what to write about. There are many lessons to be learned from Star Wars. Almost as hard as it was for George Lucas to actually find a movie studio for the film.

Two different rejection letters from different studios are online. Here are some quotes…

“There is no metaphysical message that 2001 contained, no salvation offered for the youths of today in the future.”

“I do not see how this picture can be inexpensively made. Essentially, there are no starring roles for important action.”

“The decision has to be if you have enough faith in the director making an expensive family adventure film. I would not go with the project.”

“A risky project — one I would not do.”
“The question, in the end, is how much faith we have in Mr Lucas’s ability to pull it all off.”
As I start projects or set goals for myself I think about the fact Star Wars might never have been made if not for persistance and vision. Fairly good lessions.
Of course, Reb Nachman did teach us never to give up!
Also check this post by PsychoToddler.
The United Artists rejection letter is available here.
The Universal rejection letter is available here.

At Risk…

4 Replies
(from fotosearch.com)

This morning I was pulling into work, and saw a pair of Canadian Geese with five new gooslings. They were walking in single file formation. There was one adult goose followed by four gooslings and another adult goose following behind. Then there was the the fifth little goosling, following a foot behind, still in formation. I thought to myself, “Can geese be ‘at-risk’?”

I don’t mean to make light the issue of our kids’ being ‘at-risk’. I have posted my thoughts and concerns about the issue in the form of comments on several other blogs. It’s an important issue.

Of course, it probably means very little that a goosling is walking behind the rest of the group. The scene did hit me pretty hard, though. Even though one goosling was behind, it was still walking in formation with its’ family. This, to me, is a powerful statement.

Sadly, once in a while, I catch myself talking to my kids about what they didn’t do right. Despite coming home after a day at work, a frustrating trip to the grocery store, or even several attempts to get someone to make their bed, my kids are, B”H, like the gosslings. They stay in formation and that’s what’s important. It’s a bracha.

A Kiruv lesson from Eeyore

6 Replies

“I’m telling you. People come and go in this Forest, and they say, ‘It’s only Eeyore, so it doesn’t count.’ They walk to and fro saying, ‘Ha ha!’ But do they know anything about A? They don’t. It’s just three sticks to them. But to the Educated – mark this, little Piglet- to the Educated, not meaning Poohs and Piglets, it’s a great and glorious A.” –Eeyore, summarized from The House at Pooh Corner (chapter 5)
I read this years ago and could never get it out of my mind (like most things that really are not that important).
As I get older, I find myself (at times) taking my Torah observant lifestyle for granted. Whether it’s aspect of hilchos Shabbos, which hechshers are acceptable, or events in Tanach it’s easy to forget that I also didn’t know the things I know today.
It behooves me to remember what Eeyore says. To those not blessed with the opportunities I’ve had, an ‘A’ is just three sticks.

Boys Night Out

8 Replies

Motzai Shabbos my son and I went out. We went to a Mesibas Lag B’Omer hosted by the Chicago Center for Torah & Chessed, which is under the leadership of Rav Yehoshua Eichenstein.

We both had a great time. The bonfire was awesome, as was the Diet Mountain Dew. There was plenty of dancing and my son ran into some friends from his class (which is always nice). We danced and sang together around the fire, with other yidden in West Rogers Park. It was beautiful to see my 7 yr old son having such a great time just enjoying the pure simcha of the moment!
We really didn’t know that many people there (we did go there with very good friends, though), and the majority of the kids there were not from the school we send our kids to, but together we danced and remembered Rabbi Akiva, Shimon Bar Yochi and their Torah.

As we walked home, I asked my son if he had a good time. He said the bonfire rocked! He then said, “Abba, the best part was when you said the we should dance. Then you asked me if you thought I could keep up with everyone. But, I was the one going faster than you. I was pulling you and you had to keep up with me!”
We put effort, time, and tefillah into our kids to follow a certain path. In the end, it’s the children, at times, who end up leading us.

Music in my head

8 Replies

Well, it’s almost Log B’Omer and for me that means basically two major things: I can trim my beard and start listening to music again.

This year during sefira I did something I had not done before. Several years ago I heard an interview with Stephen King on NPR. He mentioned that he often makes a list of what CDs or songs he listens to on a monthly basis and sees if it influences what he writes. I thought that was a pretty cool idea at the time, but left it at that.

This year I tried to write down on, when I could, what songs popped into my head and what triggered them. Silence, or in my case, lack of listening to anything besides some acapella tracks and shiurim, tends to clean out my mind.

Certain songs kept popping in my head during the past few weeks. Lot of niggunim from Songs of the Rebbes by Piamenta and several instrumental songs also from Strings of my Heart. Reb Shlomo Carlebach’s songs got constant air-play in my mind, as did D’vekus.
I find it interesting that although I listen to more “modern” Jewish music, it was these older classics that I found myself humming.
Now, for the secular non-Jewish music..
As I mentioned, I tried to keep track of what triggered the music that came in my head. Here’s a random list and what prompted me to think of the song or lyrics:
“Driver 8” (R.E.M)- I was driving home from work as saw a kite stuck in a phone/power line and thought of the lyrics “powerlines have floaters so the airplanes won’t get snagged”.

“I am a Rock”” (Simon and Garfunkel)- As I was thinking isolation and The Lonely Man of Faith one day and this just crept in my brain.

“De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da” (The Police)- playing with the 7 month old babyUberdox and listening to her babble.
“Until the End of the World” (U2)- My son told me that his baseball card collection would be around until the end of the world and automatically this song started up.

“I Don’t Know What You’re Talking About” (Husker Du)- One night after the kids had gone to bed I was thinking about Rabbi Akiva’s lost talmidim that we are mourning and these profoundly simple lyrics, “There’s more to life than being right and wrong. There’s something in between called getting along,” came to mind.

Finally, several songs by a certain seminal Brittish punk band- I heard a commercial on the radio for Virgin Atlantic Airways with a testimonial by guitarist Steve Jones.
What’s the point of all this? Well, even though most of these songs I haven’t listened to in almost a decade (with the exception of the Husker Du track), have stayed stuck in my head. It’s kind of scary when I think about it. A song tune or lyrics can re-surface in my brain after staying dormant for years, yet I have trouble memorizing pasukim from Chumash or Tehillim. As I wrote, it’s scary. I find this to be pretty good mussar for myself.

By the way, as I was thinking of a title for this posting the original choice was “What’s Going On (Inside My Head)”, but that is the title of a Husker Du track. Then I thought about “iPod of the Mind”, as a reference the poetry book “Coney Island of the Mind” by Lawrence Ferlinghetti.
Then it became “An iPod in my Mind”, but then the song “Carolina in my Mind” by James Tayor popped in my head and I don’t really even know all of the lyrics. Oy Vey!

My Breslov Moment

3 Replies

Recently I moved in my office. It wasn’t a big move, just across my department from one desk to another. It did require me unplugging my computer and moving it, as well.

As I was underneath my new desk and hooking up all the plugs back into my computer tower I looked up and saw the underside of my desk. It was a perspective that I had not viewed things from before. It looked pretty much like the underside of a table, no big suprise.

I recalled playing under our dining room table when I was young and I have a destinctive memory of being 2 1/2 or 3 yrs old and eating pizza crust (I called them “pizza bones” under our dining room table in Baldwin, NY.

I, of course, remembered the classic Reb Nachman story, The Turkey Prince. If you are not familiar with it, please follow the link and then return to this posting.
After spending some time under my desk I realized that it’s easy to get caught up in having a limited perspective on things, especially if you’re under a table with a long tablecloth. I forget about things beyond my sight all too often.

When one only views things from their own vantage point (under a table) it’s easy to think that the sky ends at the top of the table. It’s easy to think that one is tall enough to touch the sky (top of the table) and one’s ego gets inflated with arrogance.

The truth is that the world beyond the underside of a table is what’s important. Whether it’s family or work. Plugging USB cords in a computer is only preparation to dealing with the work on top of my desk.

I now have a much better understanding of the wisdom of Reb Nachman.

For a deeper analysis of The Turkey Prince, I recommend reading Under the Table by Avraham Greenbaum.

Am I lonely?

5 Replies

Well, I’m not sure. Based on the titles of what I’ve been reading lately the answer could be ‘yes’.

I recently finished an essay titled Alienation and Faith.
I am currently reading The Lonely Man of Faith.
While looking for something in my basement I started flipping through a book I haven’t looked at in over 14 years called Lonesome Traveler.
It all started when I decided to learn something by Rav Soloveitchik and finish by his yartzeit (the 18th of Nissan). I recently bought a copy of The Lonely Man of Faith, by the Rav and thought it would be good choice. I admit, I first read the book when I was 19, while in Eretz Yisroel and mostly read it because my Rabbeim were all students of Rav Soloveitchik. I figured that my perspective on life is different now and I might get more out of reading it again. The book starts out like this:
The nature of the dilimma can be stated in a three-word sentence. I am lonely. Let me emphasize, however, that by stating “I am lonely” I do not inted to covey to you the impression that I am alone. I, thank God, do enjoy the love and friendship of many.

Two weeks ago I finished an essay called Alienation and Faith, by Rabbi Jonathan Sack, chief rabbi of Great Britian . It is a great introduction to The Lonely Man of Faith, but stands alone as a great read if you have the time. His puts a very chassidic twist on loneliness. Here are a few lines:
Not only is the Jew an intrinsically divided self, but also ineluctably, a lonely one. For each unquiescent element of his being defeats the attempted consummation of the other…This internal rift is given added poignancy in our time which is an age primarily of technological achievement. Faced with a community of Majestic men the man of faith is bound either to betray himself or be misunderstood; and all that faces him is a retreat into solitude.

As I wrote before, I was looking for Purim costumes in our basement and found a box of my old books. Included were several books by Jack Kerouac including Lonesome Traveler. After finding the book I was instantly remined that once upon a time I actually enjoyed reading for the sake of reading. I decided to read a bit here and there. I found this passage very interesting:
I came to a point where I needed solitude and just stop the machine of “thinking” and “enjoying” what they call “living”. I just wanted to lie in the grass and look at the clouds-
They say, too, in ancient scripture: -“Wisdom can only be obtained from the viewpoint of solitude.”

Am I lonely? No, I just like to read.

The Starbucks memo and Purim

3 Replies

Howard Schultz’s “Starbuck memo” finally made the news. It’s really more of a clarion call to get back to basics for the company. Here are several quotes I found interesting:

“Our stores no longer have the soul of the past and reflect a chain of stores vs. the warm feeling of a neighborhood store.”
“Some people even call our stores sterile, cookie cutter, no longer reflecting the passion our partners feel about our coffee. In fact, I am not sure people today even know we are roasting coffee.”

“We achieved fresh roasted bagged coffee, but at what cost? The loss of aroma – perhaps the most powerful non-verbal signal we had in our stores; the loss of our people scooping fresh coffee from the bins and grinding it fresh in front of the customer, and once again stripping the store of tradition and our heritage?”

“I take full responsibility myself, but we desperately need to look into the mirror and realize it’s time to get back to the core and make the changes necessary to evoke the heritage, the tradition and the passion that we all have for the true Starbucks experience,” he said.

“The merchandise, more art than science, is far removed from being the merchant that I believe we can be and certainly at a minimum should support the foundation of our coffee heritage. Some stores don’t have coffee grinders, French presses from Bodum, or even coffee filters.”
“I have said for 20 years that our success is not an entitlement and now it’s proving to be a reality. Let’s be smarter about how we are spending our time, money and resources. Let’s get back to the core. Push for innovation and do the things necessary to once again differentiate Starbucks from all others.”
At times I can see how my own Torah observance as become similar to the current ‘Starbucks experience’. I often wonder if I have become victim of ‘cookie-cutter chain-store’ Yiddishkeit?Has the ‘merchandise’ of my observance become more important that actual mitzvah observance? Has my personality been brushed aside to fit into a certain mold?
“Back to the core” is a phrase that Schultz uses twice. I his message to timely, as on Purim we also get “back to the core” as manifested in our reacceptance of the Torah.
We all come up with costumes for our kids and ourselves. Is more effort put into hiding who we are than revealing what is truly inside us?
As I look at the four mitzvos of Purim I realized they hint to some of the basics of Torah Judaism.
Hearing the reading of the Book of Esther: Not only listen, but understand what it says
Giving monetary gifts to the poor: Do a chessed for someone who needs it
Giving two prepared food gifts to at least one other person: Reach out for the sake of reaching out
Eating a festive Purim meal: Let your soul and body serve Hashem with joy.
I’ve always found in interesting that one can fullfill the mitzvah of shaloch manos with two different types of food that fall under the same bracha (like a can of Coke and some prepared salmon). From a bracha point a view the foods are the same, yet have very different characteristics. Each person is also, on the surface, similar, yet we each have different personalities.
As I experience Purim this year I’m looking forward to getting back to my core! Have a safe and Freilichen Purim and may we see our galus end today!
Howard Schultz’s memo can be read here.
Another good read is a recent posting by A Simple Jew titled Doing What We Do Best.
_________________________

Added parsha bonus:
This weeks’ parsha deals with the bedgai kenuna and specifically the extra four accessories worn by the Kohen Gadol. Sefer HaChinuch (mitzvah 99) states that the Kohen Gadol would only wear his garments on Yom Kippur. It was then put away and the following year he wore a new one. I believe the reasoning behind this was so he would become desensitzed to the importance of wearing the clothing of the Kohen Gadol.
We all have some favorite piece of clothing. It could be a sweater, shirt, or a pair of shoes. Imagine how we’d feel if we could only wear it once a year?
Mitzvos are often referred as ‘clothing for the neshama’. I use this lesson from the Chinuch to try to have a feeling of newness to those mitzvos that I perform everyday. It’s not easy, and most of the time I fall short of my goal, but I attempt. Gut Shabbos Kodesh