This is an important event, important enough that I’m volunteering my time to help. The event is free and is open from 11am-3pm on Sunday, July 20th, 2014.
Refoenu Health & Safety fair this Sunday
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Category Archives: Chicago
THE PURSUIT OF UNCOOL
NEWS: LOCAL
May 9, 2014
The pursuit of uncool
By NEIL HARRIS
If you ask my wife and three kids (a boy, 14 and two girls, 11 and 7) if I am a good father, I’m not sure what they would answer. If you ask them if they think I’m a cool abba, they’ll tell you that I used to be cool. Being cool is a choice. I spent, what seems like months, saying to my own children. “Kids, I really am cool.”
I tried explaining to them about the glory of the 80s and how music was much better back then, especially the stuff that fell into the categories of college radio and punk. I tried showing them how a bunch of my friends all dressed differently than everyone else (we all mostly wore black…very original). I told my daughters that I had crazy hairspray and hair dryer skills that they couldn’t even dream about. It was never a conscious choice, but during high school and the beginning of college I was seen as being “cool.”
I know plenty of parents that go out of their way to appear cool to their kids. They might try to friend their kids and their kids’ friends on Facebook, be up on the latest music, novels, and texting abbreviations. If that works for you and the relationship you want to have with our kids, more power to you. I eventually gave up and just accepted the fact that I was no longer cool. I stopped trying to be cool in their eyes.
It was much easier than I thought it would be. However, I found that the choice of not being cool opened up a whole new avenue of going out of my way to be uncool. I had thoughts of calling my kids’ friends by nicknames that only I would understand. I had visions of interrupting play dates my kids had by doing the robot dance. To my family’s delight, I rarely acted upon these examples.
What I did implement was a conscious choice to show my kids that I wasn’t cool. Again, I am far from a model parent, but this mindset has fostered a more positive relationship with my kids. This was much easier than I thought in some aspects. My wife and I have always stressed to our children that there are things our family does and it might be a little different than other what other families do. There are TV shows, music, and movies that we feel are appropriate and others that are not. These decisions to be uncool, at times, are not easy, but my kids have learned that my wife and I are willing to listen to their points of view and if we are swayed to their side it is solely because they have valid reasons and not because we are looking to be “those parents,” the ones that propel the parent/child relationship with the fuel of coolness.
Rabbi Joseph Hurwitz (1847-1919), known as the Elder of Novardok (a city in Belarus) taught that, “When the world means nothing, life means everything.” I have always looked at this quote as a message that we have to stand our ground sometimes. We shouldn’t always do things that the masses are doing, especially if it goes against our value system. When we stop worrying about what others think is when we can have opportunities to do what we know is the right thing in life. This is something that we can’t lecture our kids about; it is something that we have to show by example. I am no poster child for leading by example all the time. I am, however, blessed with three great kids who are learning the importance of doing the right thing, which is a foundation of Judaism.
Neil Harris and his family live in West Rogers Park and, aside from being uncool, he works in commercial finance and writes monthly for Oy! Chicago.
Originally posted in JUF NEWS-May 9th, 2014
Best minyan EVER!!
Once in a while, I merit to have a good idea come down to me from Hashem. I admit, it is pretty rare, but when it does happen I am pretty darn grateful.
Prior to Pesach I had made plans with 4 other families to go to a White Sox game with my kids on Thursday of Chol HaMoed. I knew that within our group we would have 7 adult males (4 fathers and 3 post Bar Mitzvah boys). I decided to put the word out on Facebook, Twitter, and emailed a bunch of fellow residents of the Chicago area to see if we could get a Maariv minyan at the beginning of the 7th inning. Quickly I got a response from a friend that he would be there and also 2 other guys. Then another guy (didn’t know him prior to the game, but I’m glad I’m friends with him now) and his son said they would join in, too. As we got to the stadium and parked, my son noticed a car of 3 other guys parking right next to us and I quickly told them about the minyan, as well.
When it came time to daven we had just over 17 people, including someone saying Kaddish and someone who had a Yahrzeit. The Sox lost, but I don’t think it was related to our minyan.
Here’s the important part, really. I’m not posting this because I’m looking to blow my own shofar, I’m posting this because each of us has a way we that we can help others and add to the “quality” of our community (or a community of baseball fans). I often go through periods when I know I should be doing more with myself on a communal level. I know there’s, like, volumes more what I’m meant to be doing for Klal Yisrael beyond my role within my family and immediate friends, but I just don’t (for a number of reasons). I know that I am not alone in feeling this way. I’m, again, grateful that I was open to receiving an opportunity this time and acting upon it…this time.
My 7th year of helping terminally ill children and their families
Hey,
It’s Neil and I need your help.
Sometimes, we are privileged to see when we can make a difference in the world and in the lives of those you need help. As I write this, I humbly and gratefully thank those of you that have committed to sponsor me for the past 6 years as I have raised money for Chai Lifeline by Biking the Drive (Lake Shore Drive). In edition to be the top fundraiser for Chai Lifeline’s Bike the Drive for multiple years, by sponsoring me we have raised over $12,000.00. I am extremely proud to say that I will be hitting the pavement again on May 25, 2014.
Chai Lifeline is a unique and amazing organization. They help children and their families cope with the diagnosis, treatment and aftermath of serious pediatric illness. They provide year-round emotional, social, and financial support to families every day. Families in the Midwest turn to Chai Lifeline for access to more than two-dozen, year-round, programs and services, all free of charge and delivered with love and respect.
Since my father, of blessed memory, lost his quick battle with Leukemia in 2009 I have always dedicated my bike ride and funds raised in his memory. It is always bittersweet when the ride is over, since I have such great memories of calling him after my my first event telling him that I had biked a total of 30 miles (I had planned on biking only 15) and how proud he was that I was able to help such a worthy cause.
Not only do I bike in memory of my dad, but I bike in memory of my in-laws, Dan and Rita Huth, of blessed memory. I bike in merit for a speedy recovery for children who are sick in our community. I bike in honor of friends who are going through difficult times. I bike because Joanie, Eli Meir, Rena Sara, and Mimi believe in me. I bike because I want my family to know that when something is important to you and you can help others, then you give 101% and don’t give up.
I have increased the miles I have biked every year, even in the rain. What started out as 30 miles has now become 55 miles. I have also set the sponsorship bar higher every year. This year my objective is to raise at least $3,000.00 by May 25th. I know that sounds like a lot, but really it can happen, with your help. I hope you will help me reach this goal. All donations are 100% tax deductible. If your company has a matching gift program, your gift may be doubled or tripled.
So, if you have ever enjoyed a post of mine in the past 8 years, then please think about sponsoring me (for any amount). Also, for what it’s worth, when training and on the day of the ride I listen to about 3 hours of shiurim. I am happy to so in zechus of a refuah shelayma of in memory of someone. Just give me the name.
I am grateful to all of my previous sponsors and I know that you will, once again, help me reach my goal. All you need to do is to make any donation that you can! If interested, please feel free to forward email to anyone you feel might be open to this opportunity to help. Feel free to spread the word via social media, as well (don’t worry, I will also be using Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn to get the word out). To sponsor me all you need to do is to go to:
Warmly,
Neil
New program in Chicago helps families make their Shabbos tables more meaningful
A new initiative is starting on Shabbos between Chanukah and Pesach, as families throughout Chicagoland are committing to spend the next few months dedicated to adding renewed meaning to their Shabbos table. Please click on this link (it takes less than one minute to sign up) to receive materials in the mail this week to start enhancing your Shabbat table experience! This program is being sponsored by the Menora family for sponsoring this initiative in memory of Rikki & Racheli Menora z”l.
Partner Organizations:
Congregation KINS
Congregation KJBS
Congregation Or Torah
Kehilat Chovevei Tzion
Ida Crown Jewish Academy
Midwest NCSY
YU Torah Mitzion Kollel
Nourishing the Neshama-“The School, the Home, and the Community”
Wednesday, November 6, 2013 – 8:00pm at OR TORAH
“The School, the Home and the Community: An Open Discussion with Three Leading Educators”featuring
Rabbi Menachem Linzer, Dr. David Pelcovitz & Rabbi Eli Samber
“Nourishing The Neshama” is a new project in Chicago. It’s a partnership project of Ida Crown Jewish Academy, the YU Torah Mitzion Kollel, NCSY, YU Institute for University-School Partnership, and Congregations Chochevei Torah, KINS, KJBS & Or Torah.
If you can’t beat them…then move on
Found online here
My neighborhood in Chicago is home to many people, like myself, who are Kosher consumers. As a Jewish family we strictly follow the Jewish dietary laws about what we eat (and how we eat it). There are several exclusively Kosher grocery stores/bodegas establishments in our area and, of course, two major chain affiliated supermarkets. We have Jewel-Osco (which is owned by Albertsons) and Dominick’s (which is owned by Safeway). Almost ten years ago, the Jewel-Osco store made a major investment (following the model of other Albertsons and Acme stores) and made a “Kosher marketplace” that includes a Kosher Chinese take-out restaurant, Tein Li Chow, a bakery, deli counter, fish counter, extensive frozen food, dry goods aisles, and vast wine department all under Kosher supervision. Most will agree that it was an investment that has and will continue to pay off for the store.
Meanwhile, just about 1 1/2 miles away is the Dominick’s store. While Safeway wasn’t willing to invest in a deli, fish, or wine department exclusively Kosher, they did try to expand their frozen foods and dry goods volume into one massive and fairly well stocked aisle. I am sure some die-hard Dominick’s fans stayed loyal, but with the amenities for the Kosher consumer at Jewel combined with Albertsons’ buying power, Dominick’s did lose some business (along with most of the independent Kosher grocery stores).
About a month ago, the Dominick’s store got a new manager. He sized up the Kosher competition very quickly and made a very calculated and somewhat radical move. He reduced the amount of frozen and dry goods Kosher products in the store. He moved his now condensed Kosher dry goods into the front of the store in an easy to navigate double sided aisle and then put other ethnic and imported foods next to them, as an “international marketplace” area. If you enter the store from the South entrance it’s hard not miss the Kosher items. Again, not such a massive selection, but it’s uber-easy to find items and saves time. I complimented him on the smart move and said that most of the Kosher customers that have stuck with Dominick’s know exactly what items they need and this will save them time. He agreed and said that this new configuration was the first thing he wanted to do when he took over the store.
I grew up with the idea from pop culture that, “If you can’t beat them…join them.” This idea has fueled commercial competition in technology, TV shows on competing networks, the music and film industry, food and beverages, book publishers, etc. It seems everywhere we look we people are competing with others. Dominick’s took a different route, one that allowed them to focus their efforts on the strengths within their store. This is a great life lesson.
From time to time I find myself comparing what my own community/job/friendships/cell phone has to offer and what it seems to be missing when compared with an alternative. Sometimes my narrow vision is so fixated on what I believe I am missing to the point of it being debilitating. The lesson for me is to accept that you can’t always beat them or join them. The only viable option is to move on, accentuate the strengths, and focus on being the best that you can be.
Since you are still reading, please check out the great article on Copyblogger titled, “5 Reasons You Should Embrace Rejection“.
Hislamdus from trains
West end of the Bloomingdale Trail July 2013
I took the two photographs above while walking on the “Bloomingdale Trail” in Chicago. This unused 2.7 miles of elevated railroad tracks and footpaths is slated to become a park and trail system connecting four neighborhoods by fall of 2014 (similar to the High Line in NYC).
I recently took my son and two close friends of his to walk the “Bloomingdale”. It was so cool to be walking 16 feet above street level and getting a very unique perspective of Chicago. We walked over and next to parks, streets, schools, old factory buildings, and residential areas for about 30 minutes. On a second trip there, last week, I walked the entire stretch of 2.8 miles from beginning to end and back again. It was on this excursion that found the two abandoned trains. They had been left there and over the years had become part of the urban landscape. I had wanted to walk the entire Bloomingdale Trail prior to it’s face-lift and reconstructive surgery.
These abandoned tracks and the footpaths made by joggers and bicyclists will loose some of their character when the city of Chicago transforms them into park area and trails. As I looked at and examined the these two sets of train cars I reflected on how they, at one time, served a purpose holding cargo of one type or another, but without an engine pulling them they were rendered non-functional. I thought about myself and how I can have big grand ideas and projects in my mind, but if they are not “attached” to an action plan or any measurable movement, then they are just plans, sitting abandoned on a railroad track.
Hislamdus, teaching oneself/learning from things, is key for those who try to invest time in working on themselves. This is what I was doing with the train cars. As I walked back to my entry point (which involved climbing through a cut out passageway in a fence) I was reminded of a something taught by Rav Yisrael Salanter. When he first observed the railroad system he was able to extract three important lessons: If you come late, you will miss the train; if the train jumps the rail, then all of the cars might overturn; a person without a ticket cannot board the train.
Feb 26 @ 8pm- Nourishing the Neshama
“Nourishing The Neshama” is a new project in Chicago. It’s a partnership project of Ida Crown Jewish Academy, the YU Torah Mitzion Kollel, NCSY, YU Institute for University-School Partnership, and Congregations Chochevei Torah, KINS, KJBS & Or Torah.
Tuesday night, Feb 26 at 8pm come hear Rabbis Reuven Brand (Rosh Kollel of the YUTMK, Micah Greenland (Midwest Regional NCSY Director/Interm International Director of NCSY), and Leonard Matanky ph.D (Dean of ICJA and Rav of KINS) as they lead a discussion about bringing meaning to Mitzvos at the home of Orah and Lev Katz- 3045 W Jarlath (WRP).
I am very excited about this new program and can’t wait to get invovled.
Growing up
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| Our son, just past his 2nd birthday |
Our son will become a “Bar Mitzvah” this Shabbos Kodesh. Over the years I have written about how I’ve shepped nachas from him making a friend feel comfortable, how we danced it up on Lag B’Omer, how we learned from a chumash belonging to my grandfather, and his awesome one-liner one Shabbos night. All in all, he’s a great young man. There are times when he is wise-beyond-his-years and other times when he acts well below his years. He finds humor in things that others don’t see. He understands the importance of a moment in time. The excitement he felt on Tzom Gedaliah, when he put on his Zaidy’s tefillin was beautiful, because, he understood that even without making a bracha, it was special. He started wearing his Shabbos hat on Rosh Hashanah and is aware that it’s not just another accessory. I have always told him that he needs to keep his head covered, that’s the main thing. He fully gets the fact that wearing a black hat doesn’t mean he has any more kedusha than any other Jew.
We have been fortunate that even when he was young, thanks in part to hours of listening to Uncle Moishy, he has had a certain fire for Yiddishkeit. He has strong sense of what is right in the world and even when he would dress up with an old Shabbos hat and a tallis and play with at “Torah” he made in pre-school, there was a look in his eyes that, to him, he wasn’t just playing.
Watching him learn to lein has been quite an experience. His diligence and desire over the past year has been inspirational. He has even opted to listen to the mp3 files of his parsha instead of listening to baseball games on the radio at night (sometimes). For him, this is a major accomplishment. His has a great group of friends in his class that he has known since the middle of kindergarten. He is looked to as role model by many younger boys our family knows, he is liked by his teachers and respected by his rebbeim.
He, like every kid, has his moments that make me want to pull out what is left of my hair, but I love him and he usually knows that. He is loved by many and I hope he sees this over Shabbos. We are zoche to live in a beautiful community that is rich in Torah, Avodah, and Gemilus Chassadim.
The countdown is here, my brother arrived before Shabbos, and before we know it we’ll be with out-of-town family and friends who have come in to join us in this simcha. The absence of my wife’s parents a”h and my father a”h is not easy, but, as we wrote in the Bar Mitzvah invitation:
“Though one’s parents have passed on, Hashem escorts them from Gan Eden to participate in their children’s simcha.” (Zohar 3:21b)
