Yearly Archives: 2007

Taking a moment…

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While there is always room for improvement, I must say that I recently took a moment to appreciate several good things in life. This started Sunday afternoon when I was driving home from a Bar Mitzvah. I was thinking about how fortunate I was to have heard Ruby Harris sing and play guitar.

Then, the car in front of me had a flat tire. Seeing it made me feel thankful that, while my car occasionally doesn’t start (if it was a Transformer, my car would be called Jumpstart), it was, all in all (with the exception of something getting caught in the engine last summer) a good purchase.

I then thought about what a nice Shabbos I had. Recently my Uberwife and I decided to try to make individualized time for our kids. One when out to get school supplies with Mrs. Uberdox and another recently got a day at the ‘beauty parlor’ (really just a haircut for our 5 yr old Uberdaughter).

So this past Shabbos night I at 9:30 PM I found myself with my son. Everyone else had gone to bed. We read stories, shmoozed about things, and had a great time. I hope that by spending more “Abba and Me” time with my kids, beautiful memories will pop into my head the next time someone runs in the house, shouts, doesn’t throw something away, wakes up little Uberbaby, or wakes their parents up. I can only hope that as I get closer to the Yom HaDin, Hashem recalls the ‘good times’.

As I got closer to home I thought about our almost 11 month old. She always has a smile and does totally radical things (yeah, I use the word ‘radical’) like puts one hand up in the air and says, “Ta Da” when she does something she’s proud of. She also just figured out how to ‘fake-snore’ and totally cracks herself up when she does it.

Then, just the other day, Mrs. Uberdox found for me, what might be, the ultimate Shabbos/Yom Tov shirt (total chessed on her part).

As I think about people I know who are sick/have sick relatives, are missing parnassah, need shiduchim, and just seem to have everything go wrong, I realize that it is, truly, important to realize what I should be thankful for.

Parshas Shoftim

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And it will be, when he sits upon his royal throne, that he shall write for himself two copies of this Torah on a scroll from [that Torah which is] before the Levitic kohanim. (Devarim 17:18)

Rashi on the pasuk:And it will be, when he sits [upon his royal throne]. If he does this, he merits that his kingdom will remain established. — [Sifrei] two copies of this Torah-. Heb. מִשְׁנֵה הַתּוֹרָה i.e., two Torah scrolls, one that is placed in his treasury, and the other that comes and goes with him (San. 21b).
(Thanks to Chabad.org)

I’ve always (well, since I first learned the Rashi) found this Rashi to be great instruction for me (even when I find myself occasionally slipping into Deceptijew mode).

The idea that the same Torah a King keeps in his treasury is identical to the one he keeps with him at all other times is a powerful idea.

Both our public and private life as a Torah observant Jew needs to mesh.

Rav Hutner was once asked about the idea of a Jew living in two worlds (secular and religious). His answer was that if a person has an apartment in one area of town and another apartment in another area of town, that is living two lives.

If, however, you have have a home with two different room that you spend equal time in, you are still in the same world.

I’d say that if you are hanging out in your front or back yard, that would count also.

I admit, I was going to save this Rav Hutner idea for a post dealing with “Bloggers as Superheroes” which was going to discuss my views on Anonymous Bloggers vs those who blog under their names (sort of a “who is a greater hero…Spiderman vs. the Fantastic Four). As I sit here I realize that the truth is that any blogger I’ve communicated with via comments or email that uses a ‘secret identity’ has always been a mentsch. On blog or off blog, at home or at work, in shul or in line to buy diapers, greenbeans, and kishka the ideal is to hold ourselves to the same Torah wherever we are.
Good Shabbos Kodesh!

OBSERVABOTS AND DECEPTIJEWS

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I don’t really care for either, yet as I think about myself on Rosh Chodesh Elul, I can see times in the past year when I have acted both like an Observabot and a Deceptijew.

The Observabots tend to do things by rote. While mitzvah observance is a major aspect of their life, it usually is laking in Simcha shel Mitzvah.

The Deceptijews are really not much better. While on the surface they seem fairly observant, it’s really just chitzionius or an external show of Yiddishkeit.

It’s hard to pick the lesser of the two evils. Take your average Observabot. He/She might make brachos, daven, and be involved in learning (even by plugging into the mainframe). It can be done without feeling and introspection, yet the actions are taking place.

Now, with your average Deceptijew, it’s a little tricky. The actions are there, for show. What happens in public might not be the same in their own home. There is hope, that eventually the chitzionius will bring a level of internal grown.

As I wrote at the outset, I can recall times over the past year when I showed aspects of both of the Tranformations. I’m not please with this realization, but coming to terms with it is, I hope, a start.

The funny thing is that even beneath the Observabots and the Deceptijews is a neshama that wants to be an Eved Hashem. Regardless of the areas that I know I am lacking in my own Avodas Hashem, I have a desire to truly be an Eved. Parhaps there is “more that meets the eye”.
Gut Chodesh!

Parshas Re’eh

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We learn the mitzvah of tzedakka from this weeks’ parsha.

It says “If there will be among you a needy person, from one of your brothers in one of your cities, in your land the Lord, your God, is giving you, you shall not harden your heart, and you shall not close your hand from your needy brother.” (15:8).

Sefer HaChinuch, says (mitzvah # 479) that part of fullfilling the mtizvah of tzedakka isn’t just giving a poor person money. It applies to a wealthy person who needs something as well. What is really interesting is that the mitzvah can also be fullfilled (according to the Chinuch) by giving someone in need: food, items, a gesture, or even a kind word to make them feel better.

The Vilna Goan (from R Z Pliskin’s LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR) says that based on the pasuk using the word ‘hand’ we learn that all of ones’ fingers seem to be the same lengh when a fist is closed. When you open up your hand you see that each finger is a different length, just like each persons’ needs are different when it comes to tzedakka.

Of course a kind word or action, as tzedakka, might also fullfill the mitzvah of Chessed. For example, (not to blow my own shofar, but only to so that simple actions make a difference) I recently was visited by some people fundrasing for an institution in E”Y. In edition to giving to them a donation , I also asked if they would like me to make photocopies of their ‘lettters of introduction’, so they could leave with people who were too busy to meet with them. They were very thankful for this simple act.

Gut Shabbos Kodesh.

Thinking outside the Aron

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In his newest article, Rabbi Horowitz updates readers about what has been happening on Motzei Shabbos in Upstate NY since his previous article was written.

Most impressive are various ideas that were implemented to create more structured settings for teens and young adults. It was real “thinking outside the Aron”.

Rabbi Howowitz makes the following point, “…we should resist the seductive route of merely ‘banning’ places and activities for our growing teen population. It is entirely appropriate to declare certain areas off limits for our children. But if we do not create healthy, safe, and enjoyable venues for our children, we are deluding ourselves into thinking that we have solved the problems and are setting the stage for far greater challenges later on.”

I know even with my own kids, I sometime set unrealistic limits and ‘house rules’ only to see this just motivate certain Uberkids to go the opposite direction. Kids need choices, even at home.

Oh, the bloggers you’ll meet

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When I first started my blog, ideas such as getting comments, exchanging emails and other aspects of social networking were not even on my radar. I simply wanted to get back into writing more regularly. Of course, slowly comments came (once in a while) and emails were exchanged with like-minded individuals.

In terms of bloggers I know personally (off-blog) the list is rather small. Rabbi Harry Maryles and I often see each other walking on Shabbos and around town. I met Psychotoddler briefly after he finished a gig. Frumhouse and I occasionally run into each other, as well. There are bloggers who either know me personally or know of me through a spouse or friends. With readers, there are some I know personally and others do know me, but don’t always comment or reveal their true identities.

This past Shabbos I met up with several bloggers. Originally I had walked to a specific shul to, finally, meet Rafi G, who was in Chicago visiting family. Of course, commenter-brother Shaya G was there too.

After davening I ran into R Harry Maryles. Then during kiddush, I met the the author of How to Measure the Years (I hadn’t read his blog before, but have since read his posts), who was also visiting.

Of course, the next day I had thought of a few great lines that I should have used when I saw these people:

I’d like to post a comment about the Crown Royal.
Hmm, not much chulent left. I bet it got a lot of hits today.
I’m sorry I couldn’t wish you a ‘Gut Shabbos’ earlier, but I was a victim of comment moderation.

I even ended up spending time with one of these bloggers during my afternoon at the park.
As great as email is, there is nothing that compares to a handshake, a smile, and saying hello to someone. It’s nice to meet the people behind the blogs.

My favorite book that most people have never read

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I shouldn’t say that most people have never read it, but as I travel in various circles within Torah observance, and discuss writings that really give a clear image (in my opinion) of what a traditional view is our our faith, the book JEWTHINK by Rabbi Avi Shafran usually doesn’t come up in conversation.

While it was originally written in 1973 and published in 1977, I only found out about it in 2000. I was in Boston for an interview with an outreach organization and was looking through the books in the home of the organizations’ director. I read the whole thing in one sitting. It was such a concise summary of Yiddishkeit. I would humbly put it up there as a must read if you travel in the secular world.

I have used the book as a basis for outreach with both teens and adults, as well as for discussions with not-yet-religious Jews. It’s is a relatively easy read. Rabbi Shafran quotes great sources and it is written in a very clear and straighforward manner. Look at this passage from chapter 13-Fear of God:

There is yet another concept (this one more an emotion or feeling than an attitude) which goes by the nickname of “fear”. This is the “fear of G~d’s greatness” which we mentioned in passing back in the first chapter.
This is the emotion felt when one is confronted with, for instance, the vastness of the universe, or the wonders of biology, the kindness of G~d towards His creations, or, spare us, His power of destruction and retribution. In short, whenever G~d’s presence makes itself particularly evident and jolts us into a stronger realization of Him, we are experiencing this “fear”. A storm rolling in, a glance through a telescope, a baby’s development, an earthquake, or a solar eclipse all have the potential to arouse this emotion in human beings.

This is one of those books that I try to read once a year (along with the Nineteen Letters). If you have a few minutes, it worth the look.
It is available on online, by simply googling JEWTHINK and going to the first hit.

My Shabbos with the Men’s Club

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I wanted you to know that I spent last shabbos at Indian Lakes Restort with 400+ members of the conservative movement’s Federation of Jewish Men’s Club officers and die hard members. i was not a participant in their annual national convention, but worked as the event coordinator for the kof-k caterer who fed these men and a few women. I will be eventually be blogging about the postive things I saw over the course of the weekend, but as a general statement, I will say that even the post educated of the people I met were basically clueless in terms of hilchos shabbos and the basic day to day life of an orthodox jew. The are (the conservative movement) very interested in our outreach techniques and the word ‘kiruv’ came up in several conversations I had. Including a half hour discussion I had with the great great grandson of R Yitzchak Elchanon Spektor (I got chills when he told me about his ‘orthodox ancestor”. It was an eye opening weekend for me. I got a view of the conservative movement that even some of the most experienced ‘kiruv professionals’ could only dream of.The fact that I was one of the first frum people that many of these grown men (who live in major cities) have ever met is justification enough for your posting.

For further reading I highly suggest this article published in 2000 in Moment Magazine, as THE CONSERVATIVE LIE (originally titled TIME TO COME HOME) by Rabbi Avi Shafran

The power in your hands

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I was recently reading a chapter in Anatomy of the Soul by Rabbi Chaim Kramer and this passage jumped out at me:
Now recall that the hand is called yad because of the fourteen bones it contains. The number of Hebrew letters found in the first verse of the Torah is twenty-eight. The Hebrew word for strength is ko’ach, also numerically equal to twenty-eight. Since each hand has fourteen bones, both hands together contain “twenty-eight bones,” representing the ko’ach of God. Based on this, Rebbe Nachman teaches that every person has within himself the ability to arouse the power of Creation with his hands (i.e., his prayers). -Page 364
While Reb Nachman was speaking about the power of tefillah, I believe it could also refer to using our hands to write or type. A quick email, IM, or even (gasp) a blog post is an aspect of revealing ourselves and our neshama. It’s an act of creation and there is tremendous potential within the words we create.
Gut Shabbos Kodesh!
Mazel Tov to Dixie Yid!

The dreaded eight things about me tag

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I was tagged, like eons ago. I often get tagged. I usually don’t play these games. The truth is I have several post that I’ve written that are pretty serious and might or might not get posted in the future. This meme seemed like the calm before the storm.

Eight things about me…

1. I love BBQ beef sanwiches
2. I can make sushi
3. In junior high and high school I sang in the school choir
4. The first 45 single my parents ever got me was “Hey Jude” (I had heard the song in the car when I was, like, 5 or 6 yrs old) with “Revolution” as the B side. I was blown away
5. I have composed a niggun, that to this day, I only sing with my Uberkids
6. I was born in Dallas, Tx and lived there for about 3 years
7. Prior to my current job, I detested powdered coffee creamer. I have grown to actually like it and now miss it when it’s not available
8. I’m really not a big fan of memes based on the fact that the last one I did only proved to me that most readers really don’t care about the personal details of my life. That being said, I am not ‘passing this meme’ to anyone. If you do feel like being ‘tagged’ than go ahead.

Postscript:
The above items don’t really tell anything about me (5 and 7 reveal a bit), therefore I will add the following annotations to the above eight listed items.

1. This is one of those foods that I’ve always loved.. It tastes just as good regardless of one’s level of kashrus observance
2. I haven’t rolled any sushi since we moved to a city where it can be bought
3. While I never had an outstanding voice, going from 5 hours of instructional singing to maybe 20 minutes a week of singing in yeshiva (zemiros) never really helped me or my vocal cords
4. It was a total surprise to come home from school and hear the record playing in my living room. It was one of the most memorable moments in my childhood
5. The niggun came to me in 1997 and it’s been stuck in my head since then. It goes great with the words, “Kol haolam Kulo”
6. I grew up in Kansas
7. This topic is among those to be included in the future as “rejected blog topics”
8. I am often perplexed as to why anyone would read this blog. What is even more perplexing is that even though I get emails from readers asking me questions, rarely are the questions of a personal nature…thus my belief that people really are more concerned with content vs. who is behind the content