BeyondBT just posted an excellent article by David Linn. It nicely compliments what I’ve been posting about Rav Yisrael’s 13 Midos. Please check it out here. Thanks!!
Awesome article based on Rav Yisrael’s teaching
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Yearly Archives: 2006
Geting Organized…
Here’s an excerpt from an e-list newletter I subscribe to by written by Maria Gracia, from Get Organized Now!
Set a Time Budget
When it comes to making purchases, most people have an idea in their minds of what they’re willing to spend. You probably wouldn’t walk into a shoe store and say, ‘I will buy that pair of shoes no matter how much they cost.’ If the salesperson says the shoes cost $400, most people would not buy them. That’s because when it comes to making purchases, people set a budget in their minds of how much those shoes are really worth to them.
But what about when it comes to how you spend your time? Do you sometimes spend more time on certain tasks than they’re really worth? For instance, when it comes to cleaning your home do you spend an hour a day doing so? Two hours? Three hours? More than three hours? Is dusting really worth that much of your time? What about your other projects and appointments? How much is that time worth to you?
We all get the same amount of time each day–24 hours. At least 8 of those hours are allocated to sleeping. So, we all have approximately 16 hours when we’re awake.
By setting a time budget for certain activities, you will always ensure your time is being spent on what is most important to you, your family and your future.How much time are you willing to invest with a spouse or loved one? How many hours will you allocate to working, cleaning, exercising, eating or watching television?
Before doing anything, ask yourself how much time you’re willing to invest. Write those time investments down so you’re able to reference them regularly. Then, stick to your time budget.
Time isn’t an unlimited currency, so be sure to spend it wisely.
End of article.
For more ideas, feel free to check out the Get Organized Now! website. The monthly newsletters and blog are interesting.
My thoughts:
I’ve found that reading blogs and writing my content can take up a lot of time. With Elul around the corner and I know that I need to start craking down. Time is an element that we can mekadesh, or make holy. In fact, from what I’ve read and been told, Rav Soloveitchik was very into this concept of people being able to mikadesh certain days and physical objects. As I’ve posted on a few other blogs and, at least two emails to fellow readers, a close friend of mine and someone whom I look up to, mentioned to his son, on the occasion of his sons’ Bar Mitzvah, that “how we spend our free time defines who we are”. As I’ve been posting on my blog over the past 4 months, I find myself constantly thinking about that quote, if not every time I go online. So far the only thing I’ve figured out is that I need certain times set aside for online use at home. When time is up… I need to walk away. Time budgeting might be an answer. Any thoughts…
By the way, my name is Neil Harris, and I’m a Bloggaholic.
Tagged…I’m it!
Post # 40-Wow!
(Preface)Lakewood Venter tagged me. I at first I wasn’t to thrilled about being tagged, I admit (although as I emailed to Lakewood Venter, it’s an easy positing topic). I’ve seen these tags and unless one’s blog is based primarily on what goes on in ones’ life (an online diary format), I really feel that being tagged isn’t too interesting. I thought that most readers (who don’t personally know me) could care less about the person behind the blog.
On the other hand, after looking though Parsha Eikev (with my kids in the Parsha Reader and then more carefully with several meforshim), I changed my mind:
(Actual Post)
A land of wheat, barley, grapes, figs and pomegranates; a land of oil-yielding olive and [date] honey. Devarim 8:8
I started thinking about the Sheva Minim and their nature. In their original form, as created by Hashem, they have a function in the world, they serve a purpose. Yet, if crushed, squeezed, dried, or processed in other ways they have other uses as well. Each of us has a purpose in this world and like the Sheva Minim, we all have potential for other purposes.
At times I too need to be crushed, squeezed, dried, or processed in other ways . There is more to me than my outer appearance, like the Sheva Minim. And at times there’s benefit to showing more that what’s on the surface.For those who know me personally, what I write is pretty much what I think about, what I say, and how I see things. For the casual reader that looks this blog, for whatever reason, and wants to see something beneath the surface of “another frum blogger”, I submit the following:
Things I want to do before dying:Go back to Eretz Yisrael
Be zoche to see grandchildren and great grandchildren
Have enough income so I don’t have worry about tuition payments, bills, etc.
Publish, edit, or write for a frum version of the “New Yorker” magazine
Take up golf
Lose 10 pounds
Things I can not do:
Speak Yiddish
Eat Yogurt
Lein Torah
Two things at once
Quote pasukim al peh
Go without coffee for more than one day
Go quickly through a grocery store
Things I can do:
Listen to my kids’ infectious laughs for hours on end
Pull a decent shot of espresso and froth milk
Dishes (not always as clean as someone would like them to be)
Listen
Procrastinate
Make Sushi
What attracted me to my spouse:Her high regard for Emes
A few other things I’d rather not post
Things I say most often:
Please and Thank you
So, where do you daven?
Gevalt Yidden!
That’s so Shtetl-fabulous!
What should we make for dinner?
I was reading a blog and saw…
Books that I am currently reading:
Eyes To See-Rabbi Yom Tov Schwatz (re-reading, as it’s one of the most influential books I own)
Horeb-Rav Samson Rafael Hirsch (thanks to Zev for giving me a copy)
Praying With Fire- Rabbi Heshy Kleinman
Tehillim
The Road Back- Rabbi Meyer Schiller (just finished it again, I read it every summer)
Up In The Old Hotel- Joseph Mitchell
Magic Tree House series-with my son (thanks to my neighbors)
Movies that I love:
All the Star Wars flicks (except for Episode III, I’ve known the ending since 1983)
Logan’s Run
What Dreams May Come
Say Anything
Slacker
The Shawshank Redemption
Well, that does it. I guess you know all about me now. I now tag Rafi G, the first blogger to ever link anything I posted. FYI- I asked Rafi for reshus before I tagged him… I feel that derech eretz has a place in the blogosphere.
Comments and questions are welcome (although I might not reply right away). Have a great Shabbos Kodesh!
Using what Hashem gives you
The follow was posted on the Areivim list by SBA and I felt it important to post here after getting permission for the orginal poster. A feel good story doesn’t hurt once in a while.
Paul Guez, Denim King, Bounces Back From Cocaine, Bankruptcy
(Bloomberg News) http://tinyurl.com/nxr74
“…Guez had unloaded the inventory on the Value City department store chain, owned by his friends, the Schottenstein clan of Columbus, Ohio. Following the sale in 1992, Guez got a life- changing proposition from patriarch Jerome Schottenstein, then 66. “I was broke, basically, and he says, `Paul, I would like you to participate in a charity. You have to pay $100,000,”’ Guez says. The charity was to pay for a new English translation of the Talmud, the sacred Jewish text. “I’m sure he knew I was broke,” Guez says of Schottenstein. “Then he sent a rabbi to make me sign a contract for $100,000. My wife exploded laughing, `Like from where?’ I didn’t know from where, but I did it.”
The “where” turned out to be the Schottensteins themselves. Soon after Guez agreed to make the donation, Jerome Schottenstein gave him an order for 12,000 pairs of jeans for Schottenstein’s Warrendale, Pennsylvania-based American Eagle Outfitters Inc. — enough to cover Guez’s donation. That was followed by an order for 650,000 pairs. To finance the product, Schottenstein lent Guez $500,000. “I didn’t even have a bank account,” Guez says.
After Schottenstein’s death in 1992, his son Jay sold Guez 1 million shares of American Eagle for $12 a share when the stock was trading at $16, even arranging a line of credit to finance the $12 million purchase price. The stock soared to more than $70 by 1999, making a now sober Guez wealthy again. “The family strongly believes the more you give, the more you get,” Schottenstein spokesman Michael Broidy says. “Good things happen if you do good things.”
Rav Yisrael Salanter’s 13 Midos- # 9
Orderliness: Carry out your responsibilities in all aspects in an orderly fashion
When I first read years ago, I was fairly organized. I use to keep tons of lists all organized by levels of importance and somehow over the years I’ve come to slack off a lot in this department. Family and work demands seem to have over-shadowed the importance of order, sadly. Perhaps blogging about this Midah will re-ignite my organizational skills (it would sure make my life easier in every aspect). At casual glance, it’s obvious why we had to learn about patience first. Calmly confront whatever circumstance presents itself. I know for myself, that I need a sense of clarity before I can have order.
An organized mind functions better than the opposite, so I’ve been told. In terms of mitzvah observance, ones’ daily seder is of the upmost importance. However, most things in life has a set order. For example: my cup of coffee. There’s a simple order to how it’s made. First I put the sugar in so that when the hot coffee is poured over it, the sugar dissolves right away, then I add, preferably, fat free half & half.
As I mentioned above, I know that over the years I’ve slacked off on the is Midah. I find that I get too frazzled quickly when I let my responsibilities stack up. This is a major lacking on my part. Rav Yisrael says I should carry out my responsibilities in all aspects in an orderly fashion. Order at the workplace is important. Even if one is disorganized, knowing what needs to be done first is key. Lack of order at home…yikes!
I’m always catching myself when I think about telling my son to clean up after himself. How many times am I guilty of what I expect him to do?
A line from Lecha Dodi come to mind: סוף מעשה במחשבה תחלה
sof ma’aseh bemachshavah techilah translated as “last in deed, but first in thought ” or the final outcome has been thought out at the beginning. This is a powerful concept that, in truth, might deserve its’ own posting in the future. If I know what my goal(s) should be then it’s easier to carry out any responsibility.
If you look at Pirkei Avos (5:7), it states that one of the seven characteristics of a wise person is that: He responds to first things first and to latter things later. This is a simple, yet practical application of the Midah.
True confession time. This post has taken me a few days to compose. Several parts were, in fact, written at different times. I thought that writing about Zerius was difficult, that was nothing. (Now what I’m about to say might be repeated in a future posting, I apologize in advance.) One of the purposes of blogging about the 13 Midos was to engage in a long over due Cheshbon HaNefesh. I hadn’t really done a serious one in about 5-6 years. I figured that using Rav Yisrael’s 13 Midos would be a rather good platform for tackling basic areas of improvement. While my writing has, B”H, been fluid with the other 8 midos, this one got me stuck. I guess the realization that I’ve lost my grip on the midah of seder hit me in the face. As this blog has helped me my own Avodas Hashem, having to write about this particular midah is a step for me in Tikun HaMidos. Thanks for tagging along.
OU-IPA Petition
SephardiLady of Orthonomics asked me to let my readers know about the currant Petition that the OU will presenting to President Bush and Secretary Rice on Tuesday for showing their support of Israel. If interested please feel free to sign it here.
A Letter in the Yated
Below is a part of a letter to the editors of the Yated. It is titled “WHEN THE CITY COMES TO THE MOUNTAINS”, and discusses the problems that sometimes come up when we go upstate.
The formula for this problem is more or less as follows: The people living here are not used to the ‘givens’ of life in New York City. Mix that with the frustrations of a massive increase in population, a measure of various preconceived notions, a dash of hatred, and a pinch of some really foolish behavior, and you’ve got a recipe for disaster. (If a reader does not agree that a chillul Hashem is a disaster, then this letter is not for him.)
So it’s not hard to understand why it irks people waiting fifteen minutes more than usual in Shop-Rite to see someone in front of them continue to add items to their grocery cart. And it’s not hard to imagine the reaction of the year-round drivers when one of the thousands of extra cars crowding the streets stops in the middle of the road to let somebody on or off, (which itself is an issue that is a problem in many communities all year round and should be corrected).
It is probably a bit hard for a city person to have a feel for the problem because he doesn’t have an idea of how different it is when things are quiet around here. Thus, he does not know how much, what goes on during the summer, makes a difference to the country folk. It is well known to those frum Yidden living here year-round that the friendly faces that might greet them from behind a local sales counter during the winter months can be expected to become cold and unwelcoming in July and August. During the winter, you do not have to watch so that you are not accused of cutting the line, whereas during the summer, if you are not careful, it could easily happen.
If I were to try to compose a list of the possible situations where the danger of this problem lies, it would probably be too long for this column, let alone this letter; but I know that anyone who has a heart to care about it also has a head to know where to be careful.
Again, I’m not coming to write an essay about the gravity of chillul Hashem; I’m just trying my luck at helping raise awareness of the fact that there is a serious issue here during the summer which is worth bearing in mind.
I do want to share one final thought which I found to be powerful. Even though a person does not usually have control over anyone but himself (and possibly his family), it is very likely that with one genuine act of kiddush Hashem, he can make a positive impression upon an outsider which outweighs and outshines the negative ideas that may have been conceived thorough the actions of others – the same way a small ray of light can overtake a room full of darkness. May we be zoche to be the ones who reflect the light and the sweetness of the Torah to the eyes of the nations.Sincerely wishing everyone a great summer.
P.S. If any good comes out of this letter, it should be a zechus for the Yidden in Eretz Yisroel.
Concerned
Sullivan County, N. Y
The suggestion highlighted above is so simple, yet powerful. I’m constantly reminding myself that I have no idea what impact I can make on another person. As the media and the world turns its’ eyes towards Israel we need to remember that our neighbors, co-workers, and people we see in the street are watching us, as well. If interested, I’ll be happy to email the entire letter to anyone interested. Good Shabbos and thanks for reading.
Rav Yisrael Salanter’s 13 Midos- #8
Patience: Calmly confront whatever circumstance presents itself; absorb each blow that life brings
I should probably tape this to my rear-view mirror. I’ll explain…
As a general rule, I’m fairly patient. At times, my two Uberdox kids do grind my nerves, but I love them, and usually that love over-rides any impatience I might have. I use to be the opposite. This is a midah that I work on constantly. Sometimes I’ll notice myself geting uptight, or impatient and just stop what I’m doing and count backwards from 30 to 1. That usually helps me. I find that when I’m driving someplace and I can’t control the flow of traffic, or a red light, or someone not using their turn signal, is when I feel that lack of patience creep in.
Rav Yisrael implores us to “calmly confront whatever circumstance presents itself“. I guess I need to review my notes on Tranquility (Find an inner calmness; do not be overwhelmed; always act with deliberation). If I go into every situtation with true menucha then a direct result should be savlanus. No matter what difficulty arises I have the ability to approach it with patience.
Look, this might seem like fluff, but it’s true. At least, for me it is. I’m not anyone special. I struggle with tuition payments, have trouble waking up in the morning, and I’m blogging instead of getting of collecting laundry. I also believe in how Rav Salanter’s Midos can help change me and make me into a better Jew. Life is difficult, there’s no question. Sometimes our Yeter Hara works overtime. I wrote, very personally, about that in my last posting. The RAMCHAL, in Mesillas Yesharim, states that life isn’t meant to be easy. It’s suppose to be a challenge. I have, at times faced horrific life situations and ordeals. I also once really hurt myself building my sukkah. Life is not meant to always be a trip to Six Flags. When things don’t go right, I need to exercise patience. Patience is something that I can control and use to my advantage.
Absorb each blow that life brings. That’s our job in life. Relationships don’t work out the way we always plan them to. Our car doesn’t start in the morning. You put salt in your coffee on day instead of sugar (I did this once at work, it was December 1995. I will never make that mistake again). I need to be like a sponge or some NASA-spawned space foam that absorbs every difficulty. I don’t need to stop each blow that life brings (read challenge), but I do need to slow them down. If I let challenges and difficulties get buffered before I internalize them, it’s probably easier to cope.
There are some things that I’m impatient for. Today, listening and say kinos, I couldn’t wait for our Galus to end. I’m still waiting. I can’t wait for a huge cup of coffee (I can’t help it, I love coffee). I really didn’t really miss listening to music, although Piamenta will be played tomorrow at work. I also couldn’t wait to daven Mincha today. I truly missed my tallis and tefillin this morning. I felt a lacking. Maybe that was the point.
I was, thanks to technology, able listen to Rav Moshe Weinberger’s teleconference tonight before mincha. I felt a little guilty. I think I enjoyed it too much (Frum Idlealist knows exactly what I mean). One thing he said that really hit home was that then the Churban happened Klal Yisrael was hit with a moment of emes. We realized that we didn’t have our Father with us anymore. Rav Weinberger used the example of when a child is sent away from the Shabbos table. The child cries and cries because they miss their mom and dad… and they miss a chance for a bracha. We’ve been sent away from the Shabbos table, twice now.
Parashas Va’eschanan starts out with Moshe pleading to go into Eretz Yisrael. Hashem answers, “It is too much for you!” (pasuk 26). Rashi says that much more is in store for you (in Olam Haba). More that the land of Eretz Yisrael. Much is the goodness that is kept for you. (Sifrei)
We see from this that good things come to those who wait. It’s not just patience, it’s how we exercise it that matters. I hope you have a good Shabbos Kodesh.
Several of Rav Weinberger’s shiurim are available for free by clicking here. I found the “Judging Others Favorably” mp3 to be excellent. Check it out, if you have time.
I hope you have a good Shabbos Kodesh and a comforting one, as well. Thanks for reading.
Thoughts before Tisha B’Av
Tehillim 145
19. He does the will of those who fear Him, and He hears their cry and saves them.
20. The Lord guards all who love Him, and He destroys all the wicked.
I, along with others, said these words last night at a community-wide event. Hundreds of people gathered in a large congregation in Chicago to daven for Eretz Yisrael. It was touching to see so many Jews together. Some with hats, some with ball caps (Cubs and Sox), some wearing shorts, some with their children. All of us as an Am Echad. The two pasukim above really hit me as I was davening. I remember last year on Tisha B’Av night saying kinos and thinking about Gush Katif, and our people leaving their homes and soldiers crying as they took citizens out of their own shuls. For all I know the soldier and the citizen are fighting together right now.
I’m worried about this year. I’m worried about people being injured and killed. Our people, my people crying and hoping Hashem hears their cry.
“Dear Hashem,
I thought I was strong and my Yetzer Tov was strong. I thought I would not give into the evils of my generation. I thought I was above being sucked into the vacuum of the Sitra Achra. I was wrong. The stronger I am, the more attached to my creator I think I am, the stronger my Yetzer Hara is. The Yetzer Hara makes me think that I’m not susceptible to being deviated from attachment to Hashem. The Yetzer Hara only has power over something I can see. I have to know when to turn away. If I stumble it means that I’m being challenged. If I am challenged that means that I have to power to get up again. This is what my creator wants. It is a war. I must not forget. When I think the enemy is weak is when I am attacked. Hashem, I love you and know that you will help me. I daven to make the Yetzer Hara my slave, for me to control it. I know that if I do not help to rebuild the Bais Hamikdash, it is as if I have destroyed it.”
This could have been said after the first or second Temples’ were destoyed. It could have been said by someone surrounded by idol worship, immorality, murder, or baseless hatred on all sides. By someone who gave into their Yetzer Hara, even if only once. It could have been said yesterday. Try as we might, we need Hashem now more than ever to protect us from our ememies. Those that surround the borders of Israel, and those that surround the borders we make for ourselves.
Victor, the janitor of a shul I use to daven in, once told me that you’ve got to have a thunderstorm before you can see a rainbow. I hope that’s the case. May our Galus end with song, dance, and victory.
Midah #7- A personal story
If you haven’t figured it out, I will not finish all 13 Midos by Tisha B’Av. It’s taken a lot more introspection that I thought it would to post on the Midos. I’m glad I’ve been doing it and will continue until they are completed.
I was going to tell this story in the previous comments section of Midah #7, but it deserves its’ own posting.
This is a true story and I only write it to emphasis Midah # 7 and the importance of trying to be a Mentch Yisrael. It isn’t meant as a rant or to cause friction between Jews.
Two summers ago, my family and I went to Upstate NY. We decided to drive into Woodbourne and get something to eat. I, of course, wanted to go check out the seforim store (which happens to rock). As I walk in, I say hello to the owner and ask if he’s having a nice day. “Baruch Hashem,” he replies.
We proceed to browse around and get a few items. A kippah for my son, a few kids books, a believe I got an Artscroll Mishnah, and a copy of the Chofetz Chaim’s Lesson a Day (a real deal for only $7.99). As I’m look around the store I notice a father with his two high school sons standing by the cash register. I see the father look at me and then hear him say, “People like him come in to a store like this? What would he want with seforim?”
Note: I was wearing a polo shirt and khaki pants.
Then the owner says to this man and his sons, “Yes, people like him shop here. And guess what? When he walked in, he said hello to me and asked how I am. When you came in you didn’t say a word to me. I’d take a customer like him anyday.” This guy is my hero.
What this man and his kids were wearing and where they fell on the hashkafa chart doesn’t matter.
You can look decent and be a mensch or you can go “casual” and be a mensch. Just be a mensch.
