![]() |
From Mikor Baruch pg 1111 (hebrewbooks.org) |
This Shabbos Kodesh, the 25th of Shvat, is the yahrzeit of Rabbi Yisrael Salanter zt’l. This was prepared in zechus of a refuah shelayma for Reuven ben Tova Chaya and Miriam Orit bas Devorah.
A downloadable pdf version is available here.
Middos of Rabbi
Yisrael Salanter
Do you treat everyone you know with honor? The idea behind this middah is that everyone is created in the image of Hashem, even if we don’t like them. This means that we have to recognize that their neshama (soul) is connected to Hashem. We all know sometimes it’s easier to be nice to strangers in a store than it is with those that we live with. To be known as a nice person on the street isn’t a big deal. Being a nice person when we enter the front door of our homes is much more difficult. There are people you meet in life that you simply find it difficult to connect with or even get along with. They might be more or less observant than you, daven somewhere else, or have totally different values than you do. We can’t forget that they are also created by Hashem.
Do you find time to relax and chill out? The middah of menucha, or tranquility, is an important and overlooked trait. We are all so concerned about staying connected and running from place to place that it’s easy to forget that we need to have a feeling of calmness within us. Rabbi Salanter urges us not to get overwhelmed with life, especially with problems that arise. If I start out with a sense of balance within me, then it’s easier not get overwhelmed and panic stricken. When we feel the pressure of having too much to do, we find it difficult to make decisions. This is why it’s suggested to “always act with deliberation.”
When do find yourself shouting? The Ramban, in his famous letter, instructs his son to, “Get into the habit of always speaking calmly to everyone.” Speaking to others gently allows you to not only be heard, but to listen to another person. When we get aggravated and raise our voice, usually someone will do the same. We end up yelling so loud that we can’t even hear the other person or their side of the story. Rabbi Yisrael Salanter is teaching us that that our words are powerful. Everyone has been hurt by something that someone has said to them. While physical abuse is outwardly more apparent, verbal abuse hurts us on the inside. Sharp words hurt. Softly spoken words can hurt too, but might be better received.
How do you appear to other people? This isn’t a lesson in my hygiene and appearance. It’s about how the outside world views me. If I recognize that my neshama was given to me my Hashem, then that needs to be reflected in how I present myself in the world. If we look in the mirror and are happy with what we see, it means something. Our outer appearance needs to reflect our inner appearance. The type of Jew we are at home should also be the type of Jew we are when we are not at home. If we really are children of the King of Kings, then how we carry ourselves and dress should reflect that honor.
Is there someone that eats away your patience? The root of the Hebrew word for patience means load or burden (based on Alei Shur by Rabbi Shlomo Volbe zt’l). Being a patience person means that see the whole picture, the parts we like and parts we don’t like. We might not like the person we are dealing with or a specific situation, but we carry that with us. Sometimes I’ll notice myself getting impatient and just stop what I’m doing and count backwards from 30 to 1. That usually helps me. We have to remember that challenges and difficulties are like a computer virus. If you stop them early, you can save your operating system.
What happens when you don’t follow your GPS directions in order? We all know it is important to follow the correct directions or we’ll get lost. No matter if it’s a school report, project for work, a recipe for dinner, or the way to perform a mitzvah, there’s an order that has to be followed. It’s easy to get frazzled quickly when responsibilities stack up. This is why we have to have to know what needs to be done first. Pirkei Avos (5:7) states that one of the seven characteristics of a wise person is that, “He responds to first things first and to latter things later.” This is a simple, yet practical application of the middah of orderliness.
Do you know anyone that thinks they are always right? According to Rabbi Salanter, the first step in attaining humility is realizing our own strengths and weaknesses. We all excel in certain things and there are other areas that we need to work on. It’s important to remember this when dealing with others. We all need to learn to see the positive things in others. Each time we deal with someone, we need to stop looking at their shortcomings and see the positive things that we can learn from others. By doing this we can grow into the person we are meant to be.
Are justice and righteousness the same thing? Both can only be measured by a set standard. In our lives, that standard is Hashem’s Torah. Doing the right thing isn’t always easy. Rabbi Yisrael Salanter says that we have “to be willing to even give up things that can benefit us. This could include: a parking spot, your seat in shul, the last delicious brownie, giving a smile or a kind work to another person. Rabbi Salanter’s great-grandson, Rabbi Eliyahu Eliezer Dessler zt’l, took this concept of giving and taught that there are two types of people in the world, givers and takers. Being a giver is truly a righteous thing.
Do we purchase what we need or what we want? This is a very different middah than the previous ones, because it directly related to so something material. How we spend our money gives us is an indication of what we value. We need to realize that every dollar and every penny is ultimately given to us by Hashem and we should be careful about how we spend it. There is nothing wrong with working hard and owning things that you feel you deserve. However, affluence isn’t everything. It’s what we do with our money that demonstrates the quality of who we are. As it states in Eruvin 65b: A person is recognized through three things – his Kos (how he acts after drinking), his Ka’as (anger), and his Kis (wallet or how he spends).
שתיקה – יחשוב את התועלת שבדבריו קודם שידבר.