Category Archives: personal

The Lighter Side of Being Uberdox

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One of the things I enjoy most about using an eruv is walking to shul Shabbos morning with a cup of iced coffee. I’ve found it to be rather hot in Chicago, even when I go to a hashkama minyan. The iced coffee makes the walk all that much better. The minyan starts at 7:30 in the morning, but I’ll be honest, I usually get there by 7:49. So, I’m walking to shul, coffee in hand, and I see an older woman in her 60s-70s walking towards me on the sidewalk wearing a sweat-suit and a sun hat. As we get closer to each other I say, “Good morning,” expecting a similar response. Instead I get, in a thick russian accent, “Good Shabbos.” Beautiful!! The Berditchever would have loved this lady.

We’ve only been in Chicago since the beginning of March, and I really oscillate between two different shuls on a regular basis. I (and my family) really haven’t found our shul. There are plenty of places (B”H) to daven in West Rogers Park, but it’s hard to choose a makom where we want to daven. More often than not, I attend this hashkama minyan that is housed in a rather large congregation. The minyan is great. 50-70 men, a few women, d’var Torah after mussaf, and a great kiddush. Everyone is really friendly.

When I get home, I give my wife a copy of the Likutei Peshatim (Rafi and Zev will know what this is). It’s a fantastic weekly publication put out by the Hebrew Theological College (as I call it. Everyone else says “Skokie Yeshiva”) and contains several d’vrai Torah, a Halachic Corner, and several questions on the parsha. I think for most people the highlight is that it is really is the source for community announcements and mazal tovs. As I play with my kids my wife asks me, “Neil, where are your cuff-links that belonged to my grandfather?”
Good question. I wasn’t wearing them, but did wear them last Shabbos. “Why do you ask,” I answered.
My wife then quotes an annoucement in the Likutei Peshatim: “If anyone found a square shaped while gold cufflink with diamonds, lost this past Shabbos in West Rogers Park, please call 773-619-7875.”
Again, “Where are your cuff-links?”
I go to the bed room and look in my wife’s jewelry box. I grab both of them, and head back toward the living room. I stop and open the closet, then say, “Well, let me check my rain coat. I think I wore them the last time it rained.”
My wife then said, “Your rain coat? The one you left in shul for, like, a month?”
“Do you think I lost my cuff-links?” I asked with a smile. “And if I did, why wouldn’t I list our phone number,” I said as I handed her my cuff-links. As stated in a previous post or two, my wife is, more often than not, right about most things. This past Shabbos was the exception.

The rest of Shabbos Kodesh was just as great. After lunch, with the bribe of brownies and a trip to the park, my kids took a nap. A true rarity. Everyone had a great time at the park. My kids played, and I finished (for the second time) RABBI FREIFELD SPEAKS. It’s awesome. I never learned in Sh’or Yoshuv, but I’m close with people who do. BTW, I’ve been blessed to spend the Yorim Noraim there for the past two years and it’s an unbelievable experience.

Sunday night we made what my kids call “Abba Pizza”. It’s their fancy name for homemade pizza. One of the realities of moving from New York to Indianapolis was that for 7 1/2 years we were without a pizza shop (imagine that). Of course, whenever we were in NY or Chicago we’d eat pizza out, but my kids (girl 4 and boy 6 1/2) grew up with homemade pizza. When we moved to Chicago I kind of decided that we’d stick with making our own pizza (most of the time). I want my kids to grow up appreciating what they have. Just because there are places to get kosher pizza doesn’t mean that you have to go to them all the time.

I’ve got to start preparing for Midah #5, but I’ll end off with a quote from the Rav Freifeld book:

Our problem is not that we don’t have the opportunities
to grow. It is that we don’t have the proper will and desire to grow. In all
circumstances, there are always excuses. The kids were sick. The boiler broke. I
had to work overtime. I was so tired when I came home and had to spend time with
the family. We know the excuses, and they’re all valid excuses. But they don’t
really explain our failures.

We fail because we despair of being successful. We fail
because we do not belive that we have it within us to succeed. It is not the
interposition of obstacles that prevents us from succeeding, but our own lack of
confidence and determination and sheer will.

We fail because we are making a
mistake. Because the truth is that we do have it within us to succeed. Because
the truth is that each of us possesses the most incredible divinely-empowered
instrument that can help us smash all obstacles and scale all peaks. It is
called the human will. (Page 25)


This is pure Slaboka, passed down from the Alter (Rav Nosson Zvi Finkel) to Rav Hunter to Rav Freifeld. It’s how I humorously define Modern Uberdox… rising above what you think you can do.



Overheard at the Shabbos Table

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Note: My next posting will continue Rav Yisrael’s Salatners 13 Midos- #3

During Shabbos lunch the conversation turned to local day camps. When asked how camp was going, one child commented that things were good, but their seemed to be rivalry between the boys what attend one day school and boys from another day school. The source of the rivalry centered around haskafa, learning, and mitzvah obeservance. Several people, inlcuding myself, commented that it’s ashame this has to happen during the Three Weeks. The camp director, as reported by campers at the table, also made a similar comment to the entire camp.
My wife, in her infnite wisdom, said, “Why shoud we only be sensitive to this during the Three Weeks?”

My Cup is Half Full…

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My Cup is Half Full

I love coffee. It’s common knowledge among those who know me. One of the perks at my job is that the coffee machine is calibrated with filtered water (it makes a difference, really) and the water-to-coffee-ratio is perfect. The decanter holds a standard 40 ounces. Only one problem, we’ve got these 16 ounce cups by the coffee machine. Basically for every pot brewed we get 2 1/2 cups of coffee. Today I made a pot, went back to my desk, and then 3 minutes later got up to get some bean. Much to my dismay, the coffee decanter was empty (again). With determination, I made another pot. I watched it brew and thought about how quickly this batch of coffee will disappear. I then made a choice. Not a big life-changing choice, but I did go against my natural inclination. I only filled my cup half way. Let someone else get a shtickel more coffee in their cup, I thought. I really wanted that full cup of coffee. Things don’t work out the way we usually want them to (more on this in a future post, bli eyen hora). But, they usually balance out. Yesterday being the case.

I had a great 4th of July. Spent time with my Modern Uberdox wife and kids. Got to take my kids swimming, had a great BBQ with my neighbors, and then joined my neighbors and a few other friends for a spectacular fireworks display. My wife did me the chessed she does for me every year… she told me what colors the fireworks were. I’m red-green color blind, you see. While I can tell the colors in a traffic light, I get lost when it comes to fireworks. All in all, a great day. If I end up not getting the cup of coffee I wanted at work in the morning…no problem. I know I can’t approach every issue that comes up in life the way I dealt with my “half cup of coffee”. But, I’ll try to remember how good I felt doing a chessed for someone else.

A Great Thing About the JBlogosphere

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If you hurry, you can still click Hirhurim – Musings and read the July 1, 2006 entry. Rabbi Student and his wife had a baby boy on Shabbos. I don’t know Gil Student, but as of when I posted this entry there were 15 comments on the birth announcement. All of them Mazel Tovs. No bashing, name calling, no pointing the finger as to why there is disharmony within various camps of Torah Judaism, no anti-religious cries to turn people away from Yiddishkeit, no scandal of sexual abuse, no reference to the singles crisis, no making fun of people who wear black hats, no making fun of people who don’t wear black hats, no anti-Lubavitch/Breslov/YU/Lakewood comments, or even references to anyone’s previous published blog entry about this particular topic –which I was guilty of once-see the entry titled…oh, never mind. Mazel Tov and I’m glad to see that people can agree on something.

My Kids Rock!!

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My kids always throw me for one loop after another.
Yestereday (Thursday, the 22nd), I got my 6 1/2 year old son some cereal for breakfast before I left for work. He likes his bowl of cereal, in the case Honey-Combs, without milk. Today I gave him his bowl and he made a bracha. Then, he said: Abba. Do you know why I made a bracha now, instead of after you went to work?
No, I replied.
Because I wanted you to answer Amen, he said.
I smiled, told him he made a great choice and that I was proud of him, and thought, “There must be something in the water.”

That night (last night) I had the following conversation with my soon (as she like to remind us) to be 4 year old daughter…
Daughter: Abba, Hashem make dis world, right?
Me: Yes, Hashem made everything.
Daughter: O.K. I undertand. But who makes Hashem?
Me: No one. Hashem was around before the world was created. Hashem was always here.
Daughter: So, hims here first. Hashem was first one in whole place?
Me: Yeah, you got it!
Daughter: If Hashem is first, then dat makes Hashem the winner. I gonna be on Hashem’s team. Hashem is the winner… I pick hims team.

“Must be something in the water…”

Our Sense of Taste

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Parasha Beha’aloscha contains a passage about the mannah, or mun. I would like to share something I read from Rav Shimon Schwab’s writings.
Before Rav Schwab left Europe he went spent Shabbos with the Chofetz Chaim for Shabbos. Shabbos night a group of students came over to the home of the Chofetz Chaim and he said:
We know the mun had the ability to take on whatever taste we wanted it to. What happened when the person eating the mun didn’t think about what he wanted it to taste like?
The Chofetz Chaim answered his own question: Then it simply has no taste.

This gets me every time. It’s one of my favorite d’vrei Torah. If I don’t think about my Avodas Hashem, then it has no taste. If I don’t appreciate the people my family, it’s like they don’t exist. How often does my learning or mitzvah performance seem like tasteless mon?

I struggle to approach each day as a new one.I never want to be too comfortable with my Yiddishkeit.

Torah Judaism require that we think about what we do. We owe it to our creator.
My tefillah is that I hope I keep on tasting.

Oberserving the Mashgiach

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(Pictured to the right: Rav Mattisyahu Salomon and Rabbi Pinchas Stolper, in a photo I took 3 feet away from them)

I had the incredible opportunity this past Sunday, May 7th, to join about 1200 other Jews to celebrate in the dedication of the new home of Congregation Adas Yeshurun Anshe Kanesses Israel (West Rogers Park, Chicago) and the Hachnassas Sefer Torah, of a Torah that has been in the family of the shul’s Rabbi, Rabbi Zev Cohen, for over 102 years. It seemed that for the Chicago Tribune this was the hightlight of the day, as evident here:http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/chicago/chi-0605080206may08,1,4753021.story
It was a beautful event that started with a five block procession full of music, dancing, and true simcha, and ended with words of chizuck from Rav Salomon. The Tribune, which did a great job covering the monumentous event, didn’t see what I saw. They did have a picture in paper of Rav Salomon (stating that he was venerated) but that was the only reference to him. The Tribune was kind enough to quote me, though. Sadly they opted not to print everything I said.

What they didn’t print was that as incredible as it was to see boys from Skokie Yeshiva dancing with boys from Telshe, as great as it was to see so many people come out to show unity for the one thing that unites all Jews, the Torah, it was just as great that Rav Salomon came to Chicago to attend the simcha.
My six year old and I were there right when he came outside to go under the chuppah and start the march up Sacramento towards Touhey. As Rav Mattisyah went under the chuppah, countless children, including my son, came up and gave him a Shalom Alechiem. He smiled at each child and extended his hand numerous times.

As the Mashgiach walked, flanked by Rabbi Cohen and Rabbi Stolper (Rabbi Cohen’s father-in-law), I could see true simcha in his face. I couldn’t help but think to myself, “How cool is this. I’m dancing literally 3-4 feet away from the Mashgiach of Lakewood. In his hands is a Torah that has survived our darkest hours in recent history. This Torah has been in America since 1906 and watched Torah Judaism blossom”. I watched how carefully he took each step, holding all that we all hold so dear in our hearts…the Torah. I watched him smile, shake hands, and speak of how important limud Torah is and how we must remember this day and what it mean to us and our children. A true Adam Gadol in every sense of the word.
To attend Sunday’s event was an honor. To have Rav Mattisyahu Salomon attend was a koved for the community. To attend it with by son, unforgetable.

A Special thanks to Blogger Rafi G, for linking my blog to his post on Sunday’s event.
http://lifeinisrael.blogspot.com/2006/05/unusual-hachnassat-sefer-torah.html