I had, at one point in my life, an original copy of the 17 page booklet by Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan titled “Love and the Commandments”. I thought it would be a good idea to re-read it and start going through some of the concepts with my 3rd graders. Sadly, I can’t seem to find it. I’m curious if anyone has a copy available to email to me as a pdf? I thank you in advance.
Rav Simcha Zissel Ziv, the Alter of Kelm
The moment he woke up in the morning, he would jump out of bed as if a bandit had been standing over him with a knife. His purpose was to break the middah of laziness and to train himself in alacrity.
From Sparks of Mussar by R Chaim Ephraim Zaitchik
The Rabbi of my shul gave an amazing drasha before Yizkor urging us to return to a more simpler time of Yiddishkeit. He quoted (as he often does) Rav Soloveitchik from R Peli’s On Repentance:
“Please allow me to make a ‘private confession’ concerning a matter that has caused me much loss of sleep… I still remember- it was not so long ago- when Jews were still close to God and lived in an atmosphere pervaded with holiness. But today, what do we see? The profane and the secular are in control everywhere we turn.
Even in those neighborhoods made up predominantly of religious Jews, one can no longer talk of the ‘sanctity of Shabbat.’ True, there are Jews in America who observe Shabbath. The label ‘Sabbath obverver” has come to be used as a title of honor in our circles just like HaRav HaGaon neither really indicate anything and both testify to the lowly state of our generation. But it is not for Shabbath that my heart aches; it is for the forgotten ‘erev Shabbath’ . There are Shabbat-observing Jews in America, but there are no ‘erev Shabbath’ Jews who go out to greet Shabbat with beating hearts and pulsating souls. There are many who observe the precepts with their hands, with their feet, and/or with their mouths – but there are few indeed who truly know the meaning of the service of the heart!” (On Repentance, pp. 97-98)
I know that we try to, at least, put the Shabbos table cloth on Thursday night (sometimes). My kids know that when we go shopping during the week I’ll say that we’re buying things “L’kavod Erev Shabbos Kodesh”. We know that Shabbos “is coming”, but I’m not sure if I’m ready, on any given week, to actually greet Shabbos. I need to do more. As the Rav explains, we need to yearn for erev Shabbos and “truly know the meaning of the service of the heart”. Simchas HaChaim and Toras Chaim need to be more that buzzwords in my on vocabulary,they need to be lived. Lately I’m not so sure that has been the case. Today is a new day, though. I just davened all day to be sealed in the “Book of Life”, a life full of Torah, Avodah, and Ge’limus Chassidim and that excites me!
A good Erev Shabbos Kodesh!
Lately I find that there are many ideas, thoughts and memories that trigger emotional responses in me. I tend to get “misty eyed” rather easily about some things. Maybe it’s just me getting older or just random feelings leaking out. I find myself getting emotion about things. This line from Paul McCartney’s song, “My Brave Face” is often playing in my head: “The Simplest Things Set Me Off Again.“
In August we visited Liberty Island and Ellis Island with our children and my sister-in-law. Being a third-generation American on both my father’s and mother’s sides, I have always felt rather removed about by family’s journey to America, but walking through the main visitor area at Ellis Island made me realize the the incredible journey my great-great grandparents must have made.
I’ve been, over the past month and a half, slowly reading the late Prof. Randy Pausch’s book The Last Lecture. I will admit, that even getting through the introduction was difficult for me. I can’t help put reading it with a box of Puffs nearby. Perhaps it’s because I’m just amazed by his clairity of thought and foresight to give over a powerful message to those he cared most about. I know, as a father and spouse, there are many things I need to improve upon. Reading this book has really put the bracha (blessing) of life in perspective.
I’ve been able to daven Selichos with a small minyan in the evenings. In addition to this giving me more time to really understand what I’m saying, I’ve found myself get rather emotional during my davening.
I found a few tears in my eyes when my daughter, after working very hard, got a good remark from her moreh regarding her school work. I had to leave the room when my son, very casually told us that on the day before Yom Kippur he made sure to be one the first kids out of the school building so he could hold the door and wish everyone a “K’siva v’Chasim Tova”.
I wasn’t planning on posting this, as it was written over several weeks. I debated, drafter, edited, re-wrote, and edited again. But I needed to, only because when the time comes, and it will, that my tears stop coming, I can look at this.
I had jury duty a few weeks ago. While I’m all for doing my part to help our country’s legal system, I also figured it would be a good time to make some progress in a few things that I have been learning. As I was trying to decide what reading material to take with me I ended up with really two choices: Rambam’s Hilchos Teshuva or the second volume of Bilvavi Mishkan Evneh. I was already on the 6th chapter of Hilchos Teshuva (I usually start learning it a few days before Elul, and sadly, in 12 years I have only finished it 3 times) and was on the 3rd chapter of the Bilvavi.
As I was past the half-way mark with Hilchos Teshuva I opted to bring that sefer. Arriving in the jury room and 9:30 am and remaining there until past 4:00pm (no, I wasn’t picked to be a juror) gave me ample time to really jump into the Rambam in a way that was much more fullfilling than my past attempts. The time also allowed me to look around at my fellow civic-minded citizens of Chicago and see what they were doing.
Many were reading, watching movies on laptops or their smartphones, listening to music, taking naps, and taking naps. One “youth minister” seated close to me was working Sunday school lesson plans. He actually asked me about “Joseph’s relationship with his brothers”. All the while, the words of a very wise and close friend of mine, echoed in my mind, “How we use our free time really defines the type of person that we are”.
I was very glad that I had chosen to attempt to learn. That gladness was supercharged when I read the following from the 10th chapter (halacha 2) of Hilchos Teshuva:
Anyone who serves out of love and occupies himself with Torah and mitzvot and follows the ways of wisdom should not do so for any earthly reason[s] or out of fear of the curses or to receive the blessings, but should fulfil the truth because it is the truth. Out of this he will receive goodness. This level is a very high one, and not every wise person attains it. This is the level of Abraham the Patriarch, whom God called His `friend’, for the reason that he served God solely out of love. This is a level which God commanded, via Moses, us [to attain], as it is written, “And you shall love the Lord your God”. Once a person loves God appropriately, he will fulfil the commandments out of love.
While probably obvious to most, I was amazingly joyful to read the words of the Rambam. As I had almost reached the intersection between Cheshbon HaNefesh and “will my Teshuva be enough this year”, I found was reminded by the words of the Rambam something that I had forgotten along the way. Advodas Hashem m’Ahava is really the best path to take. As I reflect on this, it makes perfect sense. I know that I’m more touched when my own children listen and do what is expected of them because they love me, instead of because they fear what might happen to them if they don’t. Again, it’s a simple thought, but one that I needed to be reminded of.
As I go into the Yom HaDin, I’ll attempt to put a lot more Ahava into my Avodah!
Kesiva v’chasima tova!
On the eve of Rosh Hashanah, Rav Yisrael Salanter would instruct each member of the family how to behave. He would warn them against getting angry and against idle conversation, for they were all in grave danger. Their carefulness was to last at least through the morning when the judgement is strictest.
From Sparks of Mussar by R Chaim Ephraim Zaitchik
Rav Simcha Zissel Ziv, the Alter of Kelm
Someone once left a coin on the window sill in Beis HaTalmud, and it remained there for many yearss. No one touched it.
From Sparks of Mussar by R Chaim Ephraim Zaitchik
“Run, run, run as fast you can!
You can’t catch me,
I’m The Gingerbread Man!”
Recently while returning a copy of the Gingerbread Man to the library I skimmed through the book. It had been years since I had heard/read the story. I, at first, felt bad for the the Gingerbread Man. He wants to live a life of freedom, like other human beings. He makes a great escape and after a furious chase he eventually ends up being eaten by a fox.
Maybe its just a feeling of being out of sorts lately or the excitement/responsibilty of Elul, but I can see myself (at times) as a Gingerbread Man…of sorts. What I mean is that the Gingerbread Man makes the mistake of thinking that he is meant for something greater than his potential. He tries to fight the natural outcome of being a Gingerbread Man. Despite some couragous antics and thinking that a fox will save him, his destity or Divine Providence is to be eaten. His nature, that of being a cookie to be enjoyed with a bracha before and after, is the sole purpose of his existance.
There are times that I’ve gotten trapped into the reverse mentality of the Gingerbread Man. While he, in his crispy-on-the-outside-and-soft-on-the-inside-greatness doesn’t realize that to go beyond the limits of his potential is futile, I can count the times that I have limited my own potenial own based on what I think that I cannot achieve. When I think about what I could have done at several key points in my life I know that the only thing that stopped me was…me.
As an aside, it’s interesting that the story of the Gingerbread Man, passed down from generation to generation is still the story of a Gingerbread Man. Perhaps women have a better self view of their potenial and roles in life than we men do. I know that my wife married me because she saw my potential, not the warped view of Gingerbread Man, who saw what he wasn’t instead of what he was.
