Yearly Archives: 2006

My Kids Rock!!

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My kids always throw me for one loop after another.
Yestereday (Thursday, the 22nd), I got my 6 1/2 year old son some cereal for breakfast before I left for work. He likes his bowl of cereal, in the case Honey-Combs, without milk. Today I gave him his bowl and he made a bracha. Then, he said: Abba. Do you know why I made a bracha now, instead of after you went to work?
No, I replied.
Because I wanted you to answer Amen, he said.
I smiled, told him he made a great choice and that I was proud of him, and thought, “There must be something in the water.”

That night (last night) I had the following conversation with my soon (as she like to remind us) to be 4 year old daughter…
Daughter: Abba, Hashem make dis world, right?
Me: Yes, Hashem made everything.
Daughter: O.K. I undertand. But who makes Hashem?
Me: No one. Hashem was around before the world was created. Hashem was always here.
Daughter: So, hims here first. Hashem was first one in whole place?
Me: Yeah, you got it!
Daughter: If Hashem is first, then dat makes Hashem the winner. I gonna be on Hashem’s team. Hashem is the winner… I pick hims team.

“Must be something in the water…”

A Matter of Perspective

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Menuchas HaNefesh, Yishuv HaDaas, Reframing… it really doesn’t matter what title we use… the bottom line is that at times we need to put thing into perspective.
I learned this lesson when I was in 6th grade. Not in school or on the playground, but from “Return of the Jedi”. Straight from George Lucas’ script…
“BEN: Luke, you’re going to find that many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view.”

Later I learned that Rashi said it first in Parsha Shelach about the Meraglim viewing themselves as grasshoppers. Most recently on Father’s Day I forgot all that I learned from the above.

My wife planned the perfect father’s day for me. I got a photo cube to put on my desk at work (retro, but cool), a great breakfast, a trip with my family and brother (who was visiting us from NYC) to both a nature museum and a zoo, met up with some close friends who were in town, and then home for some pizza. I was aware the entire day that my family loves and appreciates me. I felt blessed that I didn’t work on Sundays. I was happy to be living somewhere with an excellent quality of life for myself and my family.
As we walked into our home, I noticed something that bothered me. I let it bother me too much, and my fantasitc day was totally wiped from my personal hard-drive. All the fun and good times were out the door.

How often do we get caught up on things that really don’t matter? I know for myself, even once, is one time too many. Someone doesn’t say hello to you in shul, you can’t find your car keys, a toy is left on the floor, the bakery sold the last chocolate cream pie, or you get a stain on your shirt while drinking something that’s not on your diet to begin with. Of couse, none of this is from personal experience. 🙂

I remember hearing in yeshiva, and then reading years later in the Rav Dessler biography about Rav Eliyahu Lopian. The story goes that he was once in Yerushayim waiting for a bus. As he sat with a sefer, he stopped learning for a second and looked up to see if the bus was coming. He told the bachur sitting with him that had he still been in Kelm, he would have gotten an hour long mussar shmooze. Why? Because looking to see if a bus is coming doesn’t make it come any faster! To get distracted from learning to look for a bus? What’s the point? You are in control of yourself, not in control of the bus.

Of course, I only remembered this story two days after Father’s Day. I was biking tonight, trying to clear my head and gather my thoughts. I was hoping, somehow, to gain a better perspective on things. Not the big things like family, work, tuition, summer camp, bills, shopping for Shabbos, or even what to wear tomorrow. I’m working on trying to gain a better perspective on the little things that shouldn’t bother me, but do. Zeh Lo Chashuv, right? What’s one thing that bothers you (that’s really not so important)?

I looked at my wife tonight, and thought, “Father’s Day, hah. What a joke. The real star is her. She puts up with me, deals with the kids, and navigates each of life’s ordeals with a calmness not seen by many.” I wish I could be more like her.

Our Sense of Taste

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Parasha Beha’aloscha contains a passage about the mannah, or mun. I would like to share something I read from Rav Shimon Schwab’s writings.
Before Rav Schwab left Europe he went spent Shabbos with the Chofetz Chaim for Shabbos. Shabbos night a group of students came over to the home of the Chofetz Chaim and he said:
We know the mun had the ability to take on whatever taste we wanted it to. What happened when the person eating the mun didn’t think about what he wanted it to taste like?
The Chofetz Chaim answered his own question: Then it simply has no taste.

This gets me every time. It’s one of my favorite d’vrei Torah. If I don’t think about my Avodas Hashem, then it has no taste. If I don’t appreciate the people my family, it’s like they don’t exist. How often does my learning or mitzvah performance seem like tasteless mon?

I struggle to approach each day as a new one.I never want to be too comfortable with my Yiddishkeit.

Torah Judaism require that we think about what we do. We owe it to our creator.
My tefillah is that I hope I keep on tasting.

"No One Cares About Orange Juice"

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to quote my wife. She finally read my previous entry (Lakewood vs. New Square). She’s right, I guess. We’ve been married for over nine years and I actually have a list (not for the blogsphere) of almost all the times that I should have listened to her, because she’s usually right.

She told me that ranting really isn’t something fitting for me to do. So here’s a revised copy of my previous blog:

“…and Israel encamped there, opposite the mountain.” (Shemos/Exodus 19:2) Rashi says quite clearly that B’nai Yisroel were like one person with one heart. It was, in fact, the only time we all agreed on anything. This is what I usually think about on Shavuos.

We quickly forget that prior to reaching Har Sinai, we crossed the Yam Suf. Each shevet had their own route. Each shevet actually had their own nusach (so I’ve been told). We all are different. We dress differently, we have different minhagim, send our kids to different schools, and we have different outlooks. Yet, for the Kavod Hashem, to accept the Torah, we were one.

Lakewood Vs. New Square

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“…and Israel encamped there, opposite the mountain.” (Shemos/Exodus 19:2) Rashi says quite clearly that B’nai Yisroel were like one person with one heart. It was, in fact, the only time we all agreed on anything. This is what I usually think about on Shavuos.

On the second day of Shavuos this year, as I was reading a copy of the Yated Ne’Eman I laughed out loud. Then I shed a tear.

The fine print of this ad for Lakewood Farms Orange Juice reads:
Don’t be fooled with new designed easy pour containers that contain only 59oz. and cost as 64oz. [Yes, this is what was printed] At Lakewood Farms, we never cheat. Our Orange juice still contains 64oz., freshly squeezed from fine Florida Oranges. A wise consumer chooses carefully.

Wow!! Lakewood has finally attacked New Square. And what great timing. As yidden across the world celebrate Shavuos, as we receive the Torah as one people, as we put aside our differences and concentrate on how Hashem’s Torah unites us all…the war for the who’s orange juice is more heimish breaks loose. Now I did see the repacked “easy pour” New Square. I even bought it for Pesach, along with my Tropicana. I actually commented to my wife about how it might be deceiving to consumers when they finally figure out they’re only getting 59 ounces of juice. But I chose to buy it. I knew what I was paying for. And the truth is, I hope, that most people know what they’re paying for. It’s their money and their choice.

You never see an ad for Coke stating that you shouldn’t buy any cola that comes in a blue can, do you? You never see Artscroll ads stating that they use special thinner paper so that their 2 inch thick sefer really contains more pages than a regular 2 inch thick sefer, do you?

I find it sad when Derech Eretz and Mentschlekeit go out the window for quick $2.99. I ask myself, “How can I raise my children to be B’nai Torah when Lakewood Farms has to slam New Square?” This ad on page 48 of the Yated is only a small example of the bigger picture. I’m surely not the first to mention it, but Lakewood…Litvish. New Square…Chassidish.

It’s not just that one derech is right, it’s that the other derech is totally wrong. That’s the real problem.

We quickly forget that prior to reaching Har Sinai, we crossed the Yam Suf. Each shevet had their own route. Each shevet actually had their own nuach (so I’ve been told). We all are different. We dress differently, we have different minhagim, send our kids to different schools, and we have different outlooks. Yet, for the Kavod Hashem, to accept the Torah, we were one. Why couldn’t I have read about Achdus on Shavuos after a night of learning, instead of about orange juice?

PS: My thanks to Yitzy and Rana Wechsler for letting me read their copy of the Yated. For the record, my family is a Tropicana family. I don’t have anything against Heimeshe brands, but I’d rather show Tropicana that having hashgacha matters to me, as a consumer.

Oberserving the Mashgiach

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(Pictured to the right: Rav Mattisyahu Salomon and Rabbi Pinchas Stolper, in a photo I took 3 feet away from them)

I had the incredible opportunity this past Sunday, May 7th, to join about 1200 other Jews to celebrate in the dedication of the new home of Congregation Adas Yeshurun Anshe Kanesses Israel (West Rogers Park, Chicago) and the Hachnassas Sefer Torah, of a Torah that has been in the family of the shul’s Rabbi, Rabbi Zev Cohen, for over 102 years. It seemed that for the Chicago Tribune this was the hightlight of the day, as evident here:http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/chicago/chi-0605080206may08,1,4753021.story
It was a beautful event that started with a five block procession full of music, dancing, and true simcha, and ended with words of chizuck from Rav Salomon. The Tribune, which did a great job covering the monumentous event, didn’t see what I saw. They did have a picture in paper of Rav Salomon (stating that he was venerated) but that was the only reference to him. The Tribune was kind enough to quote me, though. Sadly they opted not to print everything I said.

What they didn’t print was that as incredible as it was to see boys from Skokie Yeshiva dancing with boys from Telshe, as great as it was to see so many people come out to show unity for the one thing that unites all Jews, the Torah, it was just as great that Rav Salomon came to Chicago to attend the simcha.
My six year old and I were there right when he came outside to go under the chuppah and start the march up Sacramento towards Touhey. As Rav Mattisyah went under the chuppah, countless children, including my son, came up and gave him a Shalom Alechiem. He smiled at each child and extended his hand numerous times.

As the Mashgiach walked, flanked by Rabbi Cohen and Rabbi Stolper (Rabbi Cohen’s father-in-law), I could see true simcha in his face. I couldn’t help but think to myself, “How cool is this. I’m dancing literally 3-4 feet away from the Mashgiach of Lakewood. In his hands is a Torah that has survived our darkest hours in recent history. This Torah has been in America since 1906 and watched Torah Judaism blossom”. I watched how carefully he took each step, holding all that we all hold so dear in our hearts…the Torah. I watched him smile, shake hands, and speak of how important limud Torah is and how we must remember this day and what it mean to us and our children. A true Adam Gadol in every sense of the word.
To attend Sunday’s event was an honor. To have Rav Mattisyahu Salomon attend was a koved for the community. To attend it with by son, unforgetable.

A Special thanks to Blogger Rafi G, for linking my blog to his post on Sunday’s event.
http://lifeinisrael.blogspot.com/2006/05/unusual-hachnassat-sefer-torah.html

Why We Don’t Have a Gadol Hador

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Rabbi Harry Maryles wrote an excellent piece, about what it take to make a Gadol Hador for today. I posted this:
I wonder if yiddishkeit can actually handle a Gadol HaDor? I’m hoping to get feedback from people older than I am (I was born in 1970), but was yiddishkeit more unified 35-50 years ago. I know there were less yeshivas and day schools. Were we more tolerant of other hashkafos in the 50’s and 60’s? Parents and their children were, literally, the post-Holocaust generation. They survived near extinction and saw a home-land be born. I think most frum Jews under the age of 40 today would have a problem universally accepting ONE Gadol.
Now, let me expand why it will be hard for those under the age of 40 to have ONE Gadol. Once I read Rabbi Maryles’ post I solved a puzzle that had been brewing in my head for over two years. Most trends and movements in the non-Jewish world eventually ripple into frum society. The best example is the Enlightenment with brought about Haskalah.

Over two years ago I read about Generation C on the Trendwatching website. Check this out here, and then click back.

I wondered when would the frum world become victims to Generation C… the content Generation? We live in a world where we control as much of our individual content as possible. I’ve got 40 ringers on my Treo, not to mention the mp3’s I can use as ringers (not during Sefira, of course). We’re blogging, My Spacing, and creating our own content. Even Artscroll has cashed in on helping us indivualized our davening content… here.
Do we really need four types of leather to choose for our siddurim?
The general division of frum yidden is only magnified by those of us who fall into “Generation X”. So named, because we don’t fit into any description. We are fragmented. It’s really no surprise that there is division among todays’ RW, LW, Charedim, Modern, parents, teachers, and principals. If we don’t know who we are, how can anyone accept on Gadol?
As I think about what e-lists I belong to I’m as confused as anyone. On any given Friday, I’m printing: Rabbi Frand, Rav Kook, Yated, and Torah MiTzion…just to name a few. Why? Because I’m controlling the content of what I read on Shabbos!!!
If I had to guess, my generation won’t have a Gadol Hador. It will take a generation to realize that fracture won’t help klal Yisroel. With Hashem’s help my children and Rabbi Maryles’ grandchildren will have worked out the issues and once again we will have a Gadol.

The Catskills…Ablaze with Chessed

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I am a big fan of good news and seeing the tov in things. It happens to be something I daven for everyday. I couldn’t help but smile when I read the following story posted today from the Jewish Week, http://www.thejewishweek.com/news/newscontent.php3?artid=12346.

It’s sad that this fire didn’t seem to make it into the media as much as the fire in Boro Park a few weeks ago. It must have been the worst feeling for those guests, erev Pesach to have to start worrying about where they would spend Yom Tov. Baruch Hashem, other hotels opened their doors and their hearts to those displaced yidden. During the time of Sefiras Ha’Omer we are given an opportunity to prepare ourselves to receive the Torah. The act of chessed whick took place in the Catskills is a great start. It serves as in inspiration to me.

There were police, firemen, Jews, and a fire. No rioting, no massive blogging about Chillul Hashem, no pointing the finger. Just Jews helping Jews. Rabbi Akiva would have approved.