What I learned when I got my flu shot

Last week I got a flu shot. The person who administered the shot to me told me right before the shot that, “If I relax my arm, it won’t hurt as much later.”

I told her that was very interesting and asked if it had anything to do with the muscle being contracted. I was told that I was correct and that it’s more difficult to put the needle into the contracted muscle and that most people have a sore arm the next day because they put up that resistance.

A day later my arm didn’t hurt as much as usual, but  I could get that conversation out of my head. 

I am, in many respects, a rather easy-going and go-with-the-flow type of person.  I’m, also, rather set in my ways, at times.  Ususally I prefer to think of it as a “stick with your guns” attitude, but when all is said and done, I can be rather stiff-necked.  Grown and change are good things, like a flu shot.  The help you out in the long run and I have no trouble accepting them.  The problem, I realize for me, is that even when I do decide to grow/change there can be a little residual resistance that lingers.  That’s the kicker.

If I know that a specific action is a good choice to make and it will benefit me or my family, then it would seem only right to accept it and go-with-the-flow.  Putting up resistance and “contracting the muscle” will only make my arm sore.  So why put up even that little bit of resistance?  The obivious answer, for me, is that it’s a the most comfortable reaction…resisting change.

As I was thinking about this post, a teaching of R Moshe Chaim Luzzato (the Ramchal) came to mind.  In Derech Hashem (part 1, chapter 4, section 4) the Ramchal teaches that:

The Highest Wisdom too into account all the categories of man’s natural faults as well as all the concepts of true excellence and value required by man in order to become worthy of being drawn close to God and enjoying His good.  Taking everything into account, He set up patterns and restraints [my emphasis] through which everything excellent should be incorporated in man and everything separating him from God, removed.

The Ramchal then explains that the “patterns and restraints” are Hashem’s mitzvos.  I’ve always (well, since 1991) been enamored with this defintion of mitzvos.  Following both the postive mitzvos and prohibitions is really an issue of postive action and exercising our bechira (free will) to restrain ourselves and put up the right type of resistance when neccessary.  In light of my flu shot, I have woken up to the reality that resistance of things that are in my benefit will only leave me sore. 

For a real fascinating exploration of bechira, I suggest reading Dr.  Benzion Sortzkin’s  Bechira:  How Free is Free Will?

Sunday’s Spark of Mussar

Rav Simcha Zissel Ziv, the Alter of Kelm

Walking along Kelm’s main road, which had been paved by the king’s prisoners sentenced to slave labor, the Alter would think of their suffering.  “How can people walk calmly through this place,” he wondered, “when people suffered so much and invested their blood and sweat?”

From Sparks of Mussar by R Chaim Ephraim Zaitchik

If you’ve stopped reading my posts, check these out…

Lack of blogging usually results in several things, one of them being that people are more likely not to read your blog if you don’t post regularly (although I get several hits daily for people searching for “safety-pin punk”).  The upside, for me, is that lack of blogging allows me to read a few more blogs than usual.  Here are some that recently caught my eye…

NY’s Funniest Rabbi:  On Middot 

The Rebbitzin’s Husband:  And Leave the House of your Father

A Frum Punk:  You Could Have It So Much Better

Little Frum House on the Prairie:  Humpty Dumpty Had a Great Fall

A Simple Jew:  Anticipating His Arrival Every Single Day?

Enjoy!

Looking for "Love and the Commandments"

I had, at one point in my life, an original copy of the 17 page booklet by Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan titled “Love and the Commandments”. I thought it would be a good idea to re-read it and start going through some of the concepts with my 3rd graders.  Sadly, I can’t seem to find it.  I’m curious if anyone has a copy available to email to me as a pdf?   I thank you in advance.

Yosef Karduner concert in Chicago-Nov 2

Sunday, November  2 @ 7:00pm
At the F.R.E.E. Synagogue
2935 W Devon Ave.
Chicago, IL 60645
Adult:  $15.00
Children:  $7.00
For more info call (312) 714-0622
I saw Yosef for the first time last fall, when he was brought to Chicago, and it was one of the most inspiring evenings I’ve ever had.   The music was from the heart and what he said about the songs, the stories behind the songs, and the Torah he gave over was simply amazing.  If you can make it to this show, it’s well worth it.
-Neil

Sunday’s Spark of Mussar

Rav Simcha Zissel Ziv, the Alter of Kelm

The moment he woke up in the morning, he would jump out of bed as if a bandit had been standing over him with a knife.  His purpose was to break the middah of laziness and to train himself in alacrity.

From Sparks of Mussar by R Chaim Ephraim Zaitchik

Erev Shabbos

The Rabbi of my shul gave an amazing drasha before Yizkor urging us to return to a more simpler time of Yiddishkeit.  He quoted (as he often does) Rav Soloveitchik from R Peli’s On Repentance:

“Please allow me to make a ‘private confession’ concerning a matter that has caused me much loss of sleep… I still remember- it was not so long ago- when Jews were still close to God and lived in an atmosphere pervaded with holiness.  But today, what do we see?  The profane and the secular are in control everywhere we turn.  
Even in those neighborhoods made up predominantly of religious Jews, one can no longer talk of the ‘sanctity of Shabbat.’ True, there are Jews in America who observe Shabbath.  The label ‘Sabbath obverver” has come to be used as a title of honor in our circles just like HaRav HaGaon neither really indicate anything and both testify to the lowly state of our generation.  But it is not for Shabbath that my heart aches; it is for the forgotten ‘erev Shabbath’ .  There are Shabbat-observing Jews in America, but there are no ‘erev Shabbath’ Jews who go out to greet Shabbat with beating hearts and pulsating souls. There are many who observe the precepts with their hands, with their feet, and/or with their mouths – but there are few indeed who truly know the meaning of the service of the heart!” (On Repentance, pp. 97-98)

I know that we try to, at least, put the Shabbos table cloth on Thursday night (sometimes).  My kids know that when we  go shopping during the week I’ll say that we’re buying things “L’kavod Erev Shabbos Kodesh”.  We know that Shabbos “is coming”, but I’m not sure if I’m ready, on any given week, to actually greet Shabbos.  I need to do more.  As the Rav explains, we need to yearn for erev Shabbos and “truly know the meaning of the service of the heart”.  Simchas HaChaim and Toras Chaim need to be more that buzzwords in my on vocabulary,they need to be lived.  Lately I’m not so sure that has been the case.  Today is a new day, though.  I just davened all day to be sealed in the “Book of Life”, a life full of Torah, Avodah, and Ge’limus Chassidim and that excites me!

A good Erev Shabbos Kodesh!

Sentimental Spurts

Lately I find that there are many ideas, thoughts and memories that trigger emotional responses in me.  I tend to get “misty eyed” rather easily about some things.  Maybe it’s just me getting older or just random feelings leaking out.  I find myself getting emotion about things.  This line from Paul McCartney’s song, “My Brave Face” is often playing in my head: “The Simplest Things Set Me Off Again.

In August we visited Liberty Island and Ellis Island with our children and my sister-in-law. Being a third-generation American on both my father’s and mother’s sides, I have always felt rather removed about by family’s journey to America, but walking through the main visitor area at Ellis Island made me realize the the incredible journey my great-great grandparents must have made.
I’ve been, over the past month and a half, slowly reading the late Prof. Randy Pausch’s book The Last Lecture.  I will admit, that even getting through the introduction was difficult for me.  I can’t help put reading it with a box of Puffs nearby.  Perhaps it’s because I’m just amazed by his clairity of thought and foresight to give over a powerful message to those he cared most about.  I know, as a father and spouse, there are many things I need to improve upon.  Reading this book has really put the bracha (blessing) of life in perspective. 

I’ve been able to daven Selichos with a small minyan in the evenings.  In addition to this giving me more time to really understand what I’m saying, I’ve found myself get rather emotional during my davening.

I found a few tears in my eyes when my daughter, after working very hard, got a good remark from her moreh regarding her school work.  I had to leave the room when my son, very casually told us that on the day before Yom Kippur he made sure to be one the first kids out of the school building so he could hold the door and wish everyone a “K’siva v’Chasim Tova”. 

I wasn’t planning on posting this, as it was written over several weeks.  I debated, drafter, edited, re-wrote, and edited again.  But I needed to, only because when the time comes, and it will, that my tears stop coming, I can look at this.