The Fire of Judaism (link)

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Rabbi Mordechai Torczyner, Rosh Beit Midrash of the Yeshiva University-Torah MiTzion Beit Midrash Zichron Dov posted the text of a drasha he gave over Shabbos.  Not only was I inspired by what he posted, but he eloquently weaved examples and sources that were a pleasure to read.  Here’s a teaser:

As our topic this morning is how we raise Jewish children, one lesson here is that we need to do more than tell our community’s children about our ideals; we need to live these ideals, visibly. I know this is likely obvious, but I state it as a first important step for parents, and for all of us, as adults; we are role models by dint of our simple presence.


The entire drasha (not too long) can be read on his blog, here.

A note to my readers

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I started this blog with one primary goal, to attempt to write more regularly. I figured if one person read a post and came back to read another (even if they didn’t make a comment) that would be enough of a push to write more. It worked. This blog also doubles as a good creative outlet and has kept me (for the most part) out of trouble.  It has also given me a sense of false comfort that I’ve, somehow, serving a role in Knesses Yisrael.  I’ll be the first to tell you that I know Hashem has more planned for me that my involvement in my chosen industry.  Finding a way to bring that to life is a challenge for me.  This blog is a good platform, but probably just one aspect of what I can do for our people.
 
That being written, I’d like to get some things off my chest. If you think I’m all into self-growth, it’s only when I’m comfortable with what’s sprouting.  If you think I’m a nice guy, it depends on the time of day and how much patience I have.  If you think I am constantly inspired, it’s only because I act the part.  If you think I am truthful, I am guilty of lying to myself and others.


The battlefield of self-growth (in my case mussar) is full of faux-victories.  Choosing not to scream at your kids or insult someone close to you isn’t so difficult, if you think before you speak and keep calm.  We might ascribe the action (or in action) as a major battle, but really it isn’t.  Unless you have a real Hulk-like temper and spend your day scream at others, then choosing not to scream, isn’t a real battle.  It could be a ploy of the Yetzer or the Sitra Achra, but it isn’t a full scale battle royal.

Recently I’ve found myself in several “real” battlefields.  Some I’ve navigated to on my own accord, others I have “run into” as tests.  I’ve been forced to confront people and myself.  Dealing with people is much easier for me than dealing with myself.  I’m realizing that the really battle is with myself and I am extremely cunning.  I thought that pulling an “Alter of Novardok” and staying in cabin not posting, à la perishus (separation) would help.  Had it been the correct course, then you wouldn’t be reading this now.  I guess a week was long enough.

Going off the grid

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I am not sure if this is temporary or permanent, but I decided to go on hiatus and stop posting, for now.

I have appreciated the comments over the years and am baffled by the 100s of you who visit this little blog on a daily basis.

Thanks,
Neil

Odd encounters

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Since Shabbos I have had some “odd” encounters with people, both in person and electronically.

I wish it could blame it on a full-moon or something in the water. All in all, I am drained and bewildered.

I am left only looking at myself in a mirror and asking, “What can I do to speed up and not delay Moshiach?”

The best donation I ever made, thanks to Rabbi Yakov Horowitz

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This past Shabbos I was fortunate enough to hear (and meet) Rabbi Yakov Horowitz.  He was brought to Chicago as a scholar in residence at Ohel Shalom Torah Center (co-sponsored by the Chicago Rabbinical Council).

I heard Rabbi Horowitz speak Shabbos night and Shabbos day.  His topics ,”“But Everyone Else Has It!” The Challenge of Children and Technology” and ““Whatever” Surviving Your Child’s Adolescent Years” were amazing (more about them in future postings, b’li neder).

In addition to being a principal, director of the Agudath Israel’s Project Y.E.S., an authority on parenting and chinuch, he also is the author of several books, including the ground-breaking Let’s Stay Safe.  The book can be purchased here.

This past week, this amazing book became available as a read-aloud video that is downloadable.  The suggested donation is $5.00, but as the website states, “any donation will get you to the download page”.  Below is a 30 second sample of the read-aloud video.  As the title of this post indicates, my donation for the download is probably the best donation I have ever made.  There is nothing more important then my children
‘s safety.  Thank you, Rabbi Horowitz!

Asking my readers to help PTACH of Chicago

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Please click image to enlarge

After almost 7 years of blogging, I have seen first-hand the vaule and power of an online community.  With that in mind, I’m reaching out to my readers, especially my Chicago readers (who mostly hide in the shadows) and asking that you consider attending or making a donation to PTACH of Chicago.

Personally, PTACH as been a lifesaver for one of our children.  This child’s current academic success and self-esteem is primarily due to the efforts of the PTACH staff at Arie Crown Hebrew Day School.

On February 2th, Motzei Shabbos Kodesh, PTACH is having their 27th annual “Essence Café” at 8:15pm. The event will be held at Skokie Valley Synagogue (8825 East Prairie Rd. in Skokie) and will be featuring Rabbi Paysach Krohn. Few writers, story tellers, speakers, and thought leaders are so universally regarded as Rabbi Krohn. He is the author of ten books including his most recent, “In the Spirit of the Maggid”. He has spoken throughout the world to thousands on topics as diverse as Simcha, Sholom, Education, Chessed, Prayer, Parenting, Stress Management, and Bris Milah. He is a fifth generation Mohel affliiated with Long Island Jewish Hospital and North Shore University Hospital. But it as a story teller, a Maggid, that Rabbi Krohn is most renown throughout the world. His tales and insights will be used during the evening as he leads an intimate and personal discussion titled “Passing the Flame from Generation to Generation to Generation”.

The evening includes an extremely delicious Chinese Buffet from Tein Li Chow.
 
If you are interested in attending this fun evening or make a donation of any amount, please click here for details or contact me directly at:
 
Thank you, very much!

 
2012 PTACH of Chicago video

 

The oldest thing I still wear

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Before (pic from here)
Currently

I can say, after almost 15 years of marriage, there are very few things that own, let alone wear, that are leftovers from my pre-teshuva days.  My “jungle boots” have been in my possession since I was 15.  For almost 27 years they have been with me.  They traveled witht me on my NCSY “teen summer tour” of Israel, when I solidified my observance, they spent two years with me when I was learning in E”Y afer high school, went to NY with me to college, lived with me before I was married, and have survived (so far) three Uber-kids.  When we moved to Chicago, where I actually encountered real winters, I had to retire them, since they are not waterproof.  I have yet to see any weather this season that might bring them out of retirement, but I’m hopeful.

It’s funny, but even now when I put them on, there’s a certain strut in my step, memories of a young kid who felt like he could take on the world and do with politeness.  Music long forgotten plays in my head and memories of a less structured life come into play.  Even the crazy smell of them has a whiff of confidence that lingers.  I know it, nuts, right?  We all have objects that hold significance to us.  It could be your Shabbos lichter, tefillin, a sefer, a matzah cover, coffee cup, bookmark, or even a Yoda Star Wars figure (yes, I still have mine).  Some items we can only hope to pass down to the next generation.  I know that eventually I will throw these boots away, but for now I’m holding on to them, purely for nostalgic reasons.  Also, they don’t take up too much space.  

"After changes upon changes, we are more or less the same"

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Graphic by me

The tile for this post comes from the “missing” verse to Simon & Garfunkel’s “The Boxer”:

Now the years are rolling by me
They are rockin’ evenly
I am older than I once was
And younger than I’ll be and that’s not unusual.
No it isn’t strange
After changes upon changes
We are more or less the same
After changes we are more or less the same

It’s funny, I think, how some things sort of lead up to other things. Since the first day of Chanukah I’ve been playing a few Simon & Garfunkel songs on my mp3 player (mostly in the car and in the kitchen, while making lunches for the kids). It started with a radio newscaster mentioning the “Sound of Silence” and then I started humming and found an old CD.  This has lead to me playing (and singing along) to some songs that I really haven’t thought of in almost 30 years. 

The truth is, my father a”h, was a big Simon & Garfunkel fan.  I remember being in 2nd grade and listen to our LPs of their “Greatest Hits”, “Sounds of Silence” and “Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme”.  I learned words like “superficial” and “confidence”.  I’d listen to them all the time and can remember long car trips to Texas and Pennsylvania listening to the cassettes, as well.  Driving to and from work last week and listening to a song here and there has reminded me that I have always liked music and enjoyed singing.  At some point, I started equating singing secular music with my pre-teshuva past, almost on the same level (in my head) as eating non-kosher.  This is, of course, narishkeit (nonsense).  I’m happier when I sing.  Also, I even heard a difference this past Shabbos night in shul when I was davening.  My voice sounded better than it had in a long time during Lecha Dodi because I had been exercising my vocal cords.

I thought for years that by trying to control what music I choose to listen to and even drastically limiting what secular music I would play (every now and then) that I was on the correct path.  This derech is, as I’ve been thinking about since Tishrei, a major difference between trying to control and quench a bad middah or tyvah (urge) and harnessing it for our avodah.  Holding back from something that is part of who I am hasn’t brought me the shelaimus (completeness or wholeness) that I’ve been working towards.  So, despite my refraining from throwing in odd Simon & Garfunkel references throughout this post (and I had some good ones that I didn’t use), I will simply write that for the first time, in long time, I’m “feelin’ groovy”.