Yearly Archives: 2013

My disdain of hipsters

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DIY shirt inspired by this


I used the word “disdain” with a smile.  I don’t hate anyone (except for the nation of Amalek), but I really don’t like hipsters.  They have always rubbed me the wrong way.  No, this isn’t a rant.  Just take a breath and give your eyes another 1.5  minutes to read this post.

The main reason I disdain hipsters is, ironically, because I was a hipster before there were even hipsters, yet I (and my contemporaries) don’t get any credit.  My issue with hipsters is that they are coasting down a road that was paved by the punks and alternative-types in the 80s, yet they think being so anti-establishment is completely their chiddush.  It’s smacks of coolkeit (a termed coined by The Rebbetzin’s Husband in this post).  It’s a lack of hakoras hatov, on their part.  There are always people in every culture and subculture that go against the grain and do their own thing.  There’s the guy that loves to quote lines from obscure movies, the girl that can throw out a song lyric that seem apropos in any given situation, and the dude who is learning a sefer that most people have never heard of.  Now some people do this because they want to be noticed, while others are just into doing “their own thing”.  Then there is are the hipsters, who have skillfully jumped on every bandwagon, yet pretentiously figured out a way to do it while seeming to be original.

I see those hipsters sitting in front of their MacBooks or brainstorming about social networking and it strikes a cord.  They remind me that I still can get anchored to accomplishments of the past.  I see them and it takes me back to high school and my freshman year at college, when I was more idealistic and hung out with same-minded people who helped fuel my creativity.  When late nights out with friends revolved around coffee, watching people get drunk, and pseudo-philosophical discussions about Albert Camus, Ayn Rand, Jack Keroauc, and why bands should not sign with major labels.  Hipsters, by their nature, gravitate toward the past and seeing them totally blinds me from being grateful for my own present and envisioning the many simchos in my own future.  I’m not anti-the past, but if you keep looking back, then you can never look forward (as told to me by my brother-in-law many years ago).  Eventually the hipsters will get older and a newer breed will take their retro-throne.

It’s a well know teaching of the Baal Shem Tov that when we see deficiencies in others, it’s really a reflection of the deficiencies in ourselves.  With this in mind, I find myself wondering why do I actually care?  Why do I feel that I (and those who are in their late thirties and early forties) need recognition for doing something before someone else did it?  That’s the heart of the matter.  It’s guyvah, arrogance, and pure ego to think, “Hey, I did that first.”  I am guilty of it more often than I’d like to admit.  I don’t try to be the first person to eat a new restaurant (I’ll wait two weeks until the buzz dies down) or attempt to be the first of my friends to get the newest iPhone, just to say, “I got it first.”  However, I do find that I’ll read something and share it with someone and then get upset when that person shares the same thing without giving me the credit.  It’s a lacking on my part, I know.

Of course, my own frumkeit says that it’s because I remember that the 48th way to acquire the Torah is to say something in the name of the person who said it.  As the 6th mishna in the 6th chapter of Pirkei Avos concludes:  “One who says something in the name of its speaker brings redemption to the world, as is stated (Esther 2:22), “And Esther told the king in the name of Mordechai.”  As I wrote, it’s ego.  If I had stronger Emuna and Bitachon, then I’d be more secure in not needing recognition from others.  I think that’s the point.  It’s not that Morechai had a desire to be quoted by Esther.  It’s Esther (it’s always the woman) who knew it was derech eretz to tell Achashverosh.  Bringing the geulah means being mevatar your ego.

The Fire of Judaism (link)

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Rabbi Mordechai Torczyner, Rosh Beit Midrash of the Yeshiva University-Torah MiTzion Beit Midrash Zichron Dov posted the text of a drasha he gave over Shabbos.  Not only was I inspired by what he posted, but he eloquently weaved examples and sources that were a pleasure to read.  Here’s a teaser:

As our topic this morning is how we raise Jewish children, one lesson here is that we need to do more than tell our community’s children about our ideals; we need to live these ideals, visibly. I know this is likely obvious, but I state it as a first important step for parents, and for all of us, as adults; we are role models by dint of our simple presence.


The entire drasha (not too long) can be read on his blog, here.

A note to my readers

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I started this blog with one primary goal, to attempt to write more regularly. I figured if one person read a post and came back to read another (even if they didn’t make a comment) that would be enough of a push to write more. It worked. This blog also doubles as a good creative outlet and has kept me (for the most part) out of trouble.  It has also given me a sense of false comfort that I’ve, somehow, serving a role in Knesses Yisrael.  I’ll be the first to tell you that I know Hashem has more planned for me that my involvement in my chosen industry.  Finding a way to bring that to life is a challenge for me.  This blog is a good platform, but probably just one aspect of what I can do for our people.
 
That being written, I’d like to get some things off my chest. If you think I’m all into self-growth, it’s only when I’m comfortable with what’s sprouting.  If you think I’m a nice guy, it depends on the time of day and how much patience I have.  If you think I am constantly inspired, it’s only because I act the part.  If you think I am truthful, I am guilty of lying to myself and others.


The battlefield of self-growth (in my case mussar) is full of faux-victories.  Choosing not to scream at your kids or insult someone close to you isn’t so difficult, if you think before you speak and keep calm.  We might ascribe the action (or in action) as a major battle, but really it isn’t.  Unless you have a real Hulk-like temper and spend your day scream at others, then choosing not to scream, isn’t a real battle.  It could be a ploy of the Yetzer or the Sitra Achra, but it isn’t a full scale battle royal.

Recently I’ve found myself in several “real” battlefields.  Some I’ve navigated to on my own accord, others I have “run into” as tests.  I’ve been forced to confront people and myself.  Dealing with people is much easier for me than dealing with myself.  I’m realizing that the really battle is with myself and I am extremely cunning.  I thought that pulling an “Alter of Novardok” and staying in cabin not posting, à la perishus (separation) would help.  Had it been the correct course, then you wouldn’t be reading this now.  I guess a week was long enough.

Going off the grid

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I am not sure if this is temporary or permanent, but I decided to go on hiatus and stop posting, for now.

I have appreciated the comments over the years and am baffled by the 100s of you who visit this little blog on a daily basis.

Thanks,
Neil

Odd encounters

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Since Shabbos I have had some “odd” encounters with people, both in person and electronically.

I wish it could blame it on a full-moon or something in the water. All in all, I am drained and bewildered.

I am left only looking at myself in a mirror and asking, “What can I do to speed up and not delay Moshiach?”

The best donation I ever made, thanks to Rabbi Yakov Horowitz

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This past Shabbos I was fortunate enough to hear (and meet) Rabbi Yakov Horowitz.  He was brought to Chicago as a scholar in residence at Ohel Shalom Torah Center (co-sponsored by the Chicago Rabbinical Council).

I heard Rabbi Horowitz speak Shabbos night and Shabbos day.  His topics ,”“But Everyone Else Has It!” The Challenge of Children and Technology” and ““Whatever” Surviving Your Child’s Adolescent Years” were amazing (more about them in future postings, b’li neder).

In addition to being a principal, director of the Agudath Israel’s Project Y.E.S., an authority on parenting and chinuch, he also is the author of several books, including the ground-breaking Let’s Stay Safe.  The book can be purchased here.

This past week, this amazing book became available as a read-aloud video that is downloadable.  The suggested donation is $5.00, but as the website states, “any donation will get you to the download page”.  Below is a 30 second sample of the read-aloud video.  As the title of this post indicates, my donation for the download is probably the best donation I have ever made.  There is nothing more important then my children
‘s safety.  Thank you, Rabbi Horowitz!

Asking my readers to help PTACH of Chicago

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Please click image to enlarge

After almost 7 years of blogging, I have seen first-hand the vaule and power of an online community.  With that in mind, I’m reaching out to my readers, especially my Chicago readers (who mostly hide in the shadows) and asking that you consider attending or making a donation to PTACH of Chicago.

Personally, PTACH as been a lifesaver for one of our children.  This child’s current academic success and self-esteem is primarily due to the efforts of the PTACH staff at Arie Crown Hebrew Day School.

On February 2th, Motzei Shabbos Kodesh, PTACH is having their 27th annual “Essence Café” at 8:15pm. The event will be held at Skokie Valley Synagogue (8825 East Prairie Rd. in Skokie) and will be featuring Rabbi Paysach Krohn. Few writers, story tellers, speakers, and thought leaders are so universally regarded as Rabbi Krohn. He is the author of ten books including his most recent, “In the Spirit of the Maggid”. He has spoken throughout the world to thousands on topics as diverse as Simcha, Sholom, Education, Chessed, Prayer, Parenting, Stress Management, and Bris Milah. He is a fifth generation Mohel affliiated with Long Island Jewish Hospital and North Shore University Hospital. But it as a story teller, a Maggid, that Rabbi Krohn is most renown throughout the world. His tales and insights will be used during the evening as he leads an intimate and personal discussion titled “Passing the Flame from Generation to Generation to Generation”.

The evening includes an extremely delicious Chinese Buffet from Tein Li Chow.
 
If you are interested in attending this fun evening or make a donation of any amount, please click here for details or contact me directly at:
 
Thank you, very much!

 
2012 PTACH of Chicago video

 

The oldest thing I still wear

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Before (pic from here)
Currently

I can say, after almost 15 years of marriage, there are very few things that own, let alone wear, that are leftovers from my pre-teshuva days.  My “jungle boots” have been in my possession since I was 15.  For almost 27 years they have been with me.  They traveled witht me on my NCSY “teen summer tour” of Israel, when I solidified my observance, they spent two years with me when I was learning in E”Y afer high school, went to NY with me to college, lived with me before I was married, and have survived (so far) three Uber-kids.  When we moved to Chicago, where I actually encountered real winters, I had to retire them, since they are not waterproof.  I have yet to see any weather this season that might bring them out of retirement, but I’m hopeful.

It’s funny, but even now when I put them on, there’s a certain strut in my step, memories of a young kid who felt like he could take on the world and do with politeness.  Music long forgotten plays in my head and memories of a less structured life come into play.  Even the crazy smell of them has a whiff of confidence that lingers.  I know it, nuts, right?  We all have objects that hold significance to us.  It could be your Shabbos lichter, tefillin, a sefer, a matzah cover, coffee cup, bookmark, or even a Yoda Star Wars figure (yes, I still have mine).  Some items we can only hope to pass down to the next generation.  I know that eventually I will throw these boots away, but for now I’m holding on to them, purely for nostalgic reasons.  Also, they don’t take up too much space.