Next time you lose it, read this

Poser, hypocrite, mussar-Marrano, wannabe.  These are few labels that linger in my head right now, regarding myself.  Assessment that one blew it is part of the risk of having “free choice”.  Like my Hoover vacuum, I just suck it up and sometimes change the bag.
 
I attempt to be a “good Yid”.  I make it minyan at least twice a day (working on 3 times), I think about my brachos when I make them, I learn (although not as much I should), yet I fall short.  Part of, if not the real attraction I’ve always had to Mussar is that I’m not always a nice person.  I usually keep myself in check but some days are easier than others.  I am a so-so husband and am OK Abba most of the time.  Usually I’m fairly patient with people (family included) but yesterday wasn’t one of those days.  I was a creep.  Lost it big time.  There’s not much to say or write when all of the effort you make to treat others as betzlem Elokeim seems to fly out the window when you are in a bad mood.

“I’m sorry,” only goes so far, which is why I’m thankful that I have the Rambam’s Hilchos Teshuva to give me real steps, especially the whole until-you-are-in-the-same-place-and-don’t-make-the-same-mistake-you-haven’t-really-done-teshuva step.  When it come to relationships, especially with those we love, there is constant retooling and recalibration, so those opportunities to see if you really did teshuva are plenty.
 
I get it.  Chometz is akin to the Yetzer Hora.  So, I guess I’ve been deep frying Jason’s Flavored bread crumbs in Japanese bread crumbs and then just breaking them for the heck of it, b/c I feel like my Yetzer is on overdrive.  Time to turn of the engine and coast into the service station.
 
 
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cRc Kosher for Passover app

From a cRc email:

Kosher for Passover?  There’s an App for that!

An update is now available for the iPhone App which includes product lists for Passover 2011.  Users who already own the earlier version will be prompted to download the update automatically from the App Store.

 

The free App is available for download at http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/crc-kosher/id397991421?mt=8

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Reflections of a "fringe" Jew

Full disclosure:  I don’t fit in all the time, but then again, most of us don’t.

In truth, I play the part of blending into the “mainstream” frum lifestyle fairly well.  I talk the talk and I walk the walk.  However, when I walk, I think about how the word הלך is the root word of halacha, meaning “to walk”.  I also usually hum the song “A Walk” by Bad Religion.  I just can’t help myself.

I rarely have time or schedule time to think about what makes me different from those around me who are frum.  It usually is just a waste of my time.  Once in a blue (new) moon, I find myself in a situation where I cannot distract myself with my Blackberry, hisbodedus, or a sefer and am forced to actually accept that neis that Hashem made each of us different.  Case in point: this past Motzei Shabbos.

I ventured out, on my own, to see the band Pitom.  They were great.  While I am not a major fan of klezmer music, there were enough electric guitar riffs, hard drums, killer bass lines, and one insane electric violin to make me forget that I was actually listening to “Jewish”-based music.

As I sat in a crowd of about thirty, I scanned the audience and found, maybe, one or two others who I’d label as “frum”.  Not a big deal.  It did get me thinking that even though I have changed in many ways since becoming observant year ago, I still am sort of an “arty-hispter-type”.  I still find myself moved by music as an art form, not just as a niggun, a tune to Adon Olam, or the newest song by any generic “boys choir”.

I think that most people, if they look hard enough, have something that makes them different than everyone else.  That is how Hashem made us.  We are all on the fringe of something.  It could be the fringe of getting closer to Hashem or the fringe of going out of our minds as we get ready for Pesach.

Just as each shevet has a different degel, we are each different…created by Hashem, who is “Echad”.

Pitom to play this Motzei Shabbos

Yoshie Fruchter’s Pitom

8pm doors, Saturday March 26th
The Skokie Theatre
7924 N. Lincoln Ave,
Skokie (free parking)
 
 

Bridging the worlds of the orthodox and the avant-garde, Yoshie Fruchter and the acclaimed musical project Pitom draw on some of the hottest New York talents. With klezmer as the base, the group’s sound also incorporates elements of rock, jazz, and avant-garde genres. The soulfulness of traditional Jewish music fuses with the energy of jazz and sonic textures for an exciting and innovative brew that has set New York City ablaze. With guests: Yuri Lane and Black Bear Combo (Balkan)

“More than most of the bands on John Zorn’s Tzadik label, Brooklyn’s Pitom understands that rocking is something you can’t annotate… Pushing the whole thing through the scales and melodies of frontman Yoshie Fruchter’s Jewish heritage-if any band can walk the talk of the word “radical” in the phrase “Radical Jewish Music,” it’s these guys. Fruchter is equal parts seminary school, jazz school, and Nirvana’s “School,” doing the same for heavy metal that Zorn’s Masada did for free-jazz.”  –Village Voice 
“Fun, loud and well-played…” TimeOutChicago
“Incredibly creative, remarkably capable, and gutsy band that takes musical risks in stride.”  JazzReview

Tickets and info available here.

I got their new album, it rocks and is great to listen to while biking.

Rav Moshe Weinberger on Igeres HaMussar

After seeing Dixie Yid’s post about “Imagination Verses Intellect-Not What You Think“, I purchased the mp3 of this shiur.  As you may guess, it was excellent (in fact, there hasn’t been a shiur from Rav Weinberger that I haven’t heard, live or as an mp3, that hasn’t “hit me”).
Just to expand what Dixie Yid so beauifully posted, I transcribed a little more.  Any mistakes are mine.
Rav Weinberger says:
There is one of the most unbelievable opening sentences to anything that was ever written.  Rebbe Yisrael Salanter, the first sentence in the Igeres Hamussar.  “Ha’adam asur b’muskalo“, listen carefully, it’s a sentence for life.  But not like they have in jail.  A sentence for life to live with, to be free.  “Ha’adam asur b’muskalo, v’chofshi b’dimyono.”  In English, man is imprisoned by his mind, assur meaning imprisoned ,by what he knows, by his knowledge, by his neshama.  V’chofshi b’dimyono, but his dimyon, imagination, his delusions of his guf, free him and give him the impression that he can make any choice that he likes. 

My thanks to Dixie Yid for posting the orginal text of the shiur.  Igeret HaMussar is available in English here.  The mp3 can be purchased here.