Yahrtzeit of Rabbi Yisrael Salanter and his 13 middos

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From Mikor Baruch pg 1111 (hebrewbooks.org)

This Shabbos Kodesh, the 25th of Shvat, is the yahrzeit of Rabbi Yisrael Salanter zt’l.  This was prepared in zechus of a refuah shelayma for Reuven ben Tova Chaya and Miriam Orit bas Devorah.
A downloadable pdf version is available here.

 Middos of Rabbi

Yisrael Salanter

 אמתTruth

זריזות Alacrity

חריצות Diligence

כבודHonor

מנוחת  Tranquility

נחת Gentleness

נקיון Cleanliness

סבלנות Patience

סדר Order

ענוה Humility

צדק Justice

קמוץ Thrift

שתיקה Silence


אמת – שלא להוציא מן הפה דבר שאין הלב מעיד על אמיתותו.

Truth– Never speak a word unless your heart can testify to its truth.

Do the words we speak to others clearly reflect the feelings in our heart?  It is vital that when we talk with our friends or family members we open up ourselves and show them who we really are.   Our heart serves as a witness to what we say and who we are.  The gemara in Yoma 69b states that Hashem’s “seal” is אמת, truth.  By committing to speak the truth in all matters, we are connecting to Hashem in a very powerful way. 



זריזות-שלא לבטל רגע לבטלה. כן לעשות מה שדרוש לעשות.

Alacrity– Never waste a single moment; do what has to be done.

Do you grab moments in life or do they slip away?  This middah is about grabbing the opportunities that Hashem puts in front of us when it comes our way.  When it comes to doing what has to be done, it’s all about priorities.  Some things are clearly not as important to do as others.  The sefer Orchos Tzaddikim says that we learn alacrity from Avraham. Before the Akeida, he “woke up early in the morning” (Bereishis 22:3).  We are not just talking about mitzvos, though.  We have to approach daily tasks with this same energy.  It can be emails in your inbox, dishes in the sink, an assignment in school, or laundry.  Things need to be accomplished in a timely fashion.



חריצות – לעשות מה שהוחלט לעשות בשקידה וברגש.

Diligence– Do what you have determined to do and do it with feeling.

How long is your “to do” list?  If you are like most people, just when you take one thing off your list, two more are written down.  While the previous middah dealt with doing what has to be done in a timely manner, this is different. This middah is more about actualizing your decisions by following through.  We can make plans to exercise, start dieting, or even to learn more Torah, but for many these are just “plans”.  Making up my mind is only step one.  Step two is to make it happen.  Rabbi Yisrael teaches us the secret to following step two.  He says, “Do it with feeling.”   To take an idea or make a decision and bring it into this world is a powerful thing.  When we are passionate about what we try to do, we are that much closer to success.



כבוד – להיזהר בכבוד כל אדם ואפילו של זה שאין אנו תמימי דעה עמו.

Honor: Be careful to treat all people with honor, even those with whom you have little in common.

Do you treat everyone you know with honor?  The idea behind this middah is that everyone is created in the image of Hashem, even if we don’t like them.  This means that we have to recognize that their neshama (soul) is connected to Hashem.  We all know sometimes it’s easier to be nice to strangers in a store than it is with those that we live with.  To be known as a nice person on the street isn’t a big deal.  Being a nice person when we enter the front door of our homes is much more difficult.  There are people you meet in life that you simply find it difficult to connect with or even get along with.  They might be more or less observant than you, daven somewhere else, or have totally different values than you do.  We can’t forget that they are also created by Hashem.

מנוחה – מנוחת הנפש, לבלי היות מבוהל ולעשות כל דבר במנוחה.

Tranquility: Find an inner calmness; do not be overwhelmed; always act with deliberation.


Do you find time to relax and chill out?  The middah of menucha, or tranquility, is an important and overlooked trait.  We are all so concerned about staying connected and running from place to place that it’s easy to forget that we need to have a feeling of calmness within us.  Rabbi Salanter urges us not to get overwhelmed with life, especially with problems that arise.  If I start out with a sense of balance within me, then it’s easier not get overwhelmed and panic stricken.  When we feel the pressure of having too much to do, we find it difficult to make decisions.  This is why it’s suggested to “always act with deliberation.”

נחת – דברי חכמים בנחת נשמעים, ולכן השתדל לדבר כן.

Gentleness: The wise speak in a gentle manner; always try to speak softly.

When do find yourself shouting?  The Ramban, in his famous letter, instructs his son to, “Get into the habit of always speaking calmly to everyone.”  Speaking to others gently allows you to not only be heard, but to listen to another person.  When we get aggravated and raise our voice, usually someone will do the same.  We end up yelling so loud that we can’t even hear the other person or their side of the story.  Rabbi Yisrael Salanter is teaching us that that our words are powerful.  Everyone has been hurt by something that someone has said to them. While physical abuse is outwardly more apparent, verbal abuse hurts us on the inside. Sharp words hurt.  Softly spoken words can hurt too, but might be better received.

ניקיון – ניקיון וטהרה בגופו ובבגדיו.

Cleanliness: Attain cleanliness and purity in body and clothing.

How do you appear to other people?  This isn’t a lesson in my hygiene and appearance.  It’s about how the outside world views me.  If I recognize that my neshama was given to me my Hashem, then that needs to be reflected in how I present myself in the world.  If we look in the mirror and are happy with what we see, it means something.  Our outer appearance needs to reflect our inner appearance.  The type of Jew we are at home should also be the type of Jew we are when we are not at home.  If we really are children of the King of Kings, then how we carry ourselves and dress should reflect that honor.

סבלנות – לסבול במנוחה כל מקרה וכל פגע בחיים.

Patience: Calmly confront every situation and absorb each occurrence in life.

Is there someone that eats away your patience?  The root of the Hebrew word for patience means load or burden (based on Alei Shur by Rabbi Shlomo Volbe zt’l).  Being a patience person means that see the whole picture, the parts we like and parts we don’t like.  We might not like the person we are dealing with or a specific situation, but we carry that with us.  Sometimes I’ll notice myself getting impatient and just stop what I’m doing and count backwards from 30 to 1. That usually helps me.  We have to remember that challenges and difficulties are like a computer virus.  If you stop them early, you can save your operating system.

 סדר – לעשות כל מעשה ועניין בסדר ובמשטר.

Orderliness: Carry out your responsibilities in all aspects in an orderly fashion.

What happens when you don’t follow your GPS directions in order?  We all know it is important to follow the correct directions or we’ll get lost.  No matter if it’s a school report, project for work, a recipe for dinner, or the way to perform a mitzvah, there’s an order that has to be followed.  It’s easy to get frazzled quickly when responsibilities stack up. This is why we have to have to know what needs to be done first.  Pirkei Avos (5:7) states that one of the seven characteristics of a wise person is that, “He responds to first things first and to latter things later.”  This is a simple, yet practical application of the middah of orderliness.

ענוה – להכיר חסרונות עצמו ולהסיח דעת ממומי חברו.

 Humility: Recognize your own shortcomings and disregard those of your fellow man.

Do you know anyone that thinks they are always right?  According to Rabbi Salanter, the first step in attaining humility is realizing our own strengths and weaknesses.  We all excel in certain things and there are other areas that we need to work on.  It’s important to remember this when dealing with others.  We all need to learn to see the positive things in others.  Each time we deal with someone, we need to stop looking at their shortcomings and see the positive things that we can learn from others. By doing this we can grow into the person we are meant to be. 

צדק – כפשוטו וכדרשתו: ‘וותר משלך’.

Righteousness: In its most basic form; and also to be to “forgo your own interests”.

Are justice and righteousness the same thing?  Both can only be measured by a set standard.  In our lives, that standard is Hashem’s Torah.  Doing the right thing isn’t always easy.  Rabbi Yisrael Salanter says that we have “to be willing to even give up things that can benefit us.  This could include:  a parking spot, your seat in shul, the last delicious brownie, giving a smile or a kind work to another person.   Rabbi Salanter’s great-grandson, Rabbi Eliyahu Eliezer Dessler zt’l, took this concept of giving and taught that there are two types of people in the world, givers and takers.  Being a giver is truly a righteous thing.

קמוץ – שלא להוציא פרוטה שלא לצורך.

 Thrift: Do not spend even a penny unnecessarily

Do we purchase what we need or what we want?  This is a very different middah than the previous ones, because it directly related to so something material.  How we spend our money gives us is an indication of what we value.  We need to realize that every dollar and every penny is ultimately given to us by Hashem and we should be careful about how we spend it.  There is nothing wrong with working hard and owning things that you feel you deserve.  However, affluence isn’t everything.  It’s what we do with our money that demonstrates the quality of who we are.  As it states in Eruvin 65b:  A person is recognized through three things – his Kos (how he acts after drinking), his Ka’as (anger), and his Kis (wallet or how he spends).

שתיקה – יחשוב את התועלת שבדבריו קודם שידבר.



Silence: Think about the benefit of your words before you say them.

How often do you say something without really thinking about it?  Words reveal our thoughts and allow us to connect with others.  We talk, text, email, constantly, connecting with others.  We need to think about what we say and how those words can help another person.  A kind word or show of thanks is an extremely powerful force.  When praying, we also are using the power of speech.  Rabbi Yisrael Salanter’s final middah challenges each of us to think about the gift of speech.  When we communicate with someone, we need to realize that we are revealing part of our neshama, that which is connected to Hashem, the source of all truth. 

This publication was written in merit of a complete recovery for Reuven ben Tova Chaya and Miriam Orit Bas Devorah and in conjunction with the yahrzeit of Rabbi Yisrael Salanter zt’l (25th of Shevat)


The Hebrew text for the 13 middos is based on written accounts about Rabbi Yisrael Salanter printed in the sefer Mikor Baruch by Rabbi Baruch Epstein zt”l, page 1111.


My thanks to Rabbi Micha Berger for his essay and chart regarding the 13 middos.  Available here: http://www.aishdas.org/asp/2010/03/lists-of-middos.shtml


For additional copies or a pdf file, please send an email to neilsharris@gmail.com


© 2012 Neil Harris

Sunday’s Kernel from Knesses Yisrael-Chevron

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Graphic from here
My son decided, on his own, this past Shabbos night to read the chapter in the book Prince of the Torah Kingdom (the biography of the Rosh Yeshiva of Knesses Yisrael-Chevron Rav Simcha Zissel Broide zt”l) that is about the massacre in Chevron* and the lives lost in Yeshiva Knesses Yisrael-Chevron in 1929.  It’s in his merit for even asking me about where to read information about this terrible moment in history that prompted me to post the following.
When a vending machine that sold cake was installed in the yeshiva, some bachurim found an excuse to shirk Torah study by striking up a conversation with their friends when they came to use the machine.

Nevertheless, when the Rosh Yeshiva was told about this, he reacted positively to the installation of the machine, saying that it didn’t benefit the hone of a ben Torah to take the the trouble of going all teh way to the store when it rains, or in the scorching heat.
*To learn more about the 1929 massacre, click here.

Free parenting shiurim from Rav Moshe Weinberger

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Photo from RavMosheWeinberger.com

RavMosheWeinberger.com is offering an excellent series of parenting shiurim as free mp3 downloads, here.  Just scroll to towards the bottom of that page to get shiurim 1-10 of “Inspired Parenting”.  I own the cassettes and have listened to them over and over again.  I can’t even being to say how important theses shiurim are in terms of understanding the partnership with Hashem a parent has, the reason why you were given the children you have, and how to really give over Toras Chaim.  Here’s a little info about the shiurim (from the back of the cassette binder):

In the summer of 5760 (2000), Rav Weinberger conducted a series of special shiurim for parents seeking chizuk in that area of life that is most crucial and challenging.

Using as a base text a recently published kuntres (treatise) of Rav Silverberg from Yerushalayim, Rav Weinberger teaches taht the only way to rasie inspired children is by becoming insprired parents.

As in all of of his shiurim, Rav Weinberger taps into the vast reservoir of Chassidus and Machshava to take us on an exhilarating journey into the world of inspired parenting.

Again, the shiurim are available for a limited time here.

Sunday’s super-sleuth Salanter selection (Sherlock style)

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Photo from here

Last Tuesday, January 31, 2012 the following story about Rabbi Yisrael Salanter was included in a letter to the editor of the Palm Beach Post (no, I don’t read this paper, but the link showed up in my Google Alert for “Salanter”).

I recall a story recounted in the name of Rabbi Yisrael Salanter, a founder of an ethical movement in Judaism. Rabbi Yisrael saw two boys squabbling over who was taller than the other. One boy took an aggressive action to sustain his view that he was taller by pushing the other into a hole. Rabbi Salanter went over and said, “If you wish to prove that you are taller, put a stone under you, don’t shove another into a hole.”
RABBI JACOB SIMCHA COHEN

So, I emailed to people, whom I consider to be fairly well versed in the teaching of R Yisrael Salanter to see if they had heard of this story.  Both were not familar with it.

Now, there’s a quote from R Yisrael Salanter that states, “”Promote yourself, but do not demote another.”  This idea behind this quote seems similar to the story above, however it’s not an exact fit.

Over Shabbos I happened to find the quote below on page 123 of R L Oschry’s translation of Tnuas HaMussar, “The Mussar Movement” by R Dov Katz.  This seems like the missing piece of the puzzle.

To surpass someone else, one must not dig a pit for him, but build a higher platform for oneself.

Update:  A message was sent me regarding the story printed in the Palm Beach Post and I’d like to clarify that the story is, most likely, apocryphal.  Most probably it was created around the quote above.

Reb Moshe Feinstein zt’l with Reb Yaakov Kamenetsky zt’l in Camp Agudah 1969

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This just came up in one of my Google alerts.  Vintage footage of Reb Moshe, Reb Yaakov, Rav Ruderman and Reb Boruch Sorotzkin visiting Camp Agudah in 1969.  It’s amazing to see these gedolim!  Of special note is a film of Reb Moshe and Reb Yaakov just sittting together at table outside at the 1:22 marker of the video. There’s even footage of the wives of Reb Moshe and Reb Yaakov.  While there is no recorded sound, the person who uploaded the video does tell us what’s happening in the footage (that seems to loop).

It’s a very special find and yashar koach to the person that uploaded this!

Glimpse of Greatness- Rav Dovid Lifshitz zt’l

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The following was published CHICAGO TORAH, a monthly publication of Yeshiva University Torah Mitzion Kollel of Chicago.

GLIMPSE OF GREATNESS
Rabbi Dovid Lifshitz, zt”l
(1906-1993) was a distinguished Torah leader, who was renowned for his dedication to his countless students. At the age of 30, Rav Lifshitz became the community rabbi of Suvalk in Poland, which he maintained until its capture by the Nazis in 1940. Rav Lifshitz and some of his family escaped to the United States where he presided as the Rosh Yeshiva of the Hebrew Theological College (HTC) for a brief period.
Rav Lifshitz was presented with two opportunities in New York City: to serve as rosh yeshiva at two preeminent institutions, Torah Vodaath and Rabbi Isaac Elchanan Theological Seminary. Rav Lifshitz chose to accept the position at RIETS, where he served as teacher and mentor for nearly five decades.
Rav Lifshitz lived with his family on the campus of the Yeshiva and made himself constantly available to his students. He treated each of them with great care and respect.
One morning, a student came to his apartment unannounced. The student knocked on the apartment door, and the Rosh Yeshiva’s wife answered. She asked the student to wait in order to inform her husband of his guest.
The student was waiting patiently, when he noticed the kitchen door slightly ajar. Through the gap, he saw Rav Lifshitz sitting at the table, without a jacket or hat, eating his breakfast. When the Rebbetzin informed Rav Lifshitz about the student who was waiting, he immediately ran to the back and donned his jacket and hat.
After his conversation with Rav Lifshitz, the student left the apartment and understood the intentions of his Rebbe; without knowing, Rav Lifshitz taught the young man a lesson of respect- respect for Torah and respect for every person. The student understood that a teacher of Torah must present themselves with dignity and honor befitting the Torah that they represent. Rav Lifshitz taught that this honor was not only reserved for greeting distinguished guests or formal occasions. Every student, every visitor, deserved this same distinguished honor. It was with care and respect that he earned the devotion of his countless students.

(As told by Rabbi Yudin)

 

Staying in shul (and davening)

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I have a found there a few factors involved when it comes to a getting a child to stay in shul and attempting to daven.  I am not a parenting, chinuch, or educational expert.  I am just a regular guy and these are my observations and what has, so far, worked for me.  Of course, if you child cannot behave in shul, then they really are too young to come to shul (regardless of age).  In no particular order the factors that I’ve observed are:

  • Seeing adults who take davening seriously:  This means no excessive talking and very little DADD (davening attention deficit disorder)
  • Understanding that coming to shul is a privilege:  It’s a special treat to get to come and daven to Hashem
  • Appreciating that shul is a mikdash me’at:  Instilling an idea of the kedushah of a shul is key (see this post)
  • Positive peer influence:  While we can offer direction, our children’s friends truly are influential
  • Having davening incentive programs in school:  A child needs to know that what he is doing is being observed and rewarded
  • Having slightly older role models:  Being able to look up to someone, even a grade older, can give a child someone to look up to
  • The candy man- As my son’s 4th grade rebbe told us a parent orientation, “You’d be amazed what your children will do for a gumball.”
Unless you started reading biographies of gedolim since infancy to your children, most of them are not so keen on staying in shul for all of davening.  I can’t blame them.  Most rabbis that I spoken with or parenting shiurim I’ve listened to suggest letting a child stay in for “as much as they can handle”.  My son has been going to shul on Shabbos morning with me since he was 3.  He has, for the most part, been sitting with me, davening what he is comfortable davening, and until he was 10, going to groups.


On Shabbos I daven in a very nice hashkama minyan that regularly has between 45-60 halachic adult males, of which 3 are between 13-17.  This minyan isn’t a heavily kid populated (mostly because it’s at 7:30), but the minyan is very kid friendly.  Currently including my son there are about 5 other boys in 4th-6th grade.  We have davened there for almost 6 years my son has always left the beis midrash right before haftorah and then, if I’m lucky, resurfaced by Adon Olam.  About 5 weeks ago I made the observation to him that of the 6 boys in 4th-6th grade, there are 3 that come back in for musaf.  I asked him if he’d be interested in coming in for musaf and staying until the end of davening for 3 weeks and as a reward we’d go out for pizza, just he and I.


He agreed and after the second week of going out for haftorah and then returning before Ashrei, he actually stayed in for the haftorah and didn’t even leave.  B’li ayin hora, he has been staying in and doesn’t seem to mind.  Now, my son and his father are far from perfect, but we are both aware of what’s expected of us.