Category Archives: Yom Tovim

Tisha B’Av- another Zman Charusanu

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I’ve been thinking over the past few days about certain similarities between Pesach and Tisha B’Av.
This all started because I really wasn’t so sure if I wanted to even post prior to Tisha B’Av this year. I have written about the day here and also here. I felt that I really didn’t have much else to write. We all agree that it’s the saddest day in our history. The events that took place are, in essence, the source for our state of Golus today. I think most of us get the idea. And if we don’t then that’s part of the problem.
I then realized that if I had taken this attitude towards other days, for example, Pesach, then I would have been very disconnected to Torah Judaism on a very personal level. I then began to think about several connections between Pesach and Tishah B’Av. I’ll list a few minor ones and then the major connection that has been plaguing me. These are all pretty basic ideas…

  • Eating- On Pesach we have postive mitzvos to eat certain foods, to help bring our guf to an elevated level. On Tishah B’Av it’s the mitzvah not to eat that only reminds us that we cannot enjoy eating an karbonos due to not having a Beis HaMikdash.
  • How we carry ourselves- On Pesach we sit at the seder like royalty. We emphasis the idea that we are ‘free’ people. On Tishah B’Av we are broken. We sit on the floor, we don’t really worry about our appearance.
  • Formulated readings- On Pesach we have our Haggadah that pretty much gives us a structured dialogue for the evening(s). On Tishah B’Av we filter our feelings through the reading of Kinnos.
  • National expression- On Pesach, we celebrate the birth of becoming a nation. We left Mitzrayim as a nation in order to receive the Torah as a nation, with the hope of fullfilling that Torah in our national homeland. On Tishah B’Av we mourn our national tragidies. The loss of our nation’s Holy Temples and our nationwide exile.
  • Personal expression- On Pesach we are to feel as if we ourselves left Egypt. On Tishah B’Av we must feel a personal loss and responsibility for doing our upmost to end our Golus.

Lastly, there is the concept that Pesach is our Zman Charusanu-our time of freedom. We were taken out of slavery so that we could chose to follow Hashem. It is that same freedom of choice (bechira) that our own downfall.
Our Sages, of blessed memory, state (Yoma 9b): “Why was the First Temple destroyed? Because of the follow three sins that occurred there: idol worship, immorality, and murder. Yet, in the period of the Second Temple, they were involved in Torah study, mitzvos, and acts of kindness-so why was it destroyed? As a result of the baseless hatred that was there. Rebbi Yochanan and Rebbi Eliezer both said, ‘Since concerning the First Temple, their trangressions were revealed-their time of redemption was revealed. In the Second Temple, where their sins were not revealed-their time of redemption was not revealed.’”
It was us. Plain and simple. This power of choice, this freedom to serve Hashem only works if we want it to. Hashem’s connection to us is based on how close we want it to be. It’s the three Big Ones and Sinas Chinom that distanced us and ultimately sent us into Golus.
I see it in myself. When I choose to really attach myself to a vibrant active relationship with Hashem I am a much happier person. When I chose not to, well, I end up being not so happy.
In the end, it’s all about the choices we each make. May this be the last year we sit close to the ground on Tishah B’Av.

Chinch lesson from Purim and links

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My kids and I decided that our first Shaloch Manos should be given to the principal of their day school (he lives around the corner from us). As my son and daughter (the baby stayed at home) were walking, my daughter said, “I can’t wait to see to Rabbi (name withheld). I want to pick a prize”.

The principal happens to be a very speical person. Not only does he give the kids money to put into a pushka in his home, but he also takes a picture with each kid that comes to see him, and lets them pick a small prize. My 4 1/2 yr old daughter remembered getting a prize last year.

As my daughter said the above sentence to me, I reminded her that the mitzvah is to give Shaloch Manos, not to get Shaloch Manos or prizes from others.

The ikar is to give.


Several links I enjoyed:
LIfe in Israel: Video of the Hazon Ish
A Simple Jew: Disturbing Rabbi Yisrael Salanter During Hisbodedus
Cross-Currents: Wiki-Orthodoxy and the Undervaluing of Torah

NEW BOOK BANNED!!!

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The book that I’ve been working on for over a year has been banned by major Orthodox organizations before it has even officially gone to press. After seeking several approbations from respected individuals within the Torah observant community, I have been asked not to proceed with my publication. This will not stop me! Cross-Currents is currenly debating this whole issue and several other bloggers are showing major support for me.

The book, titled YOU DIDN’T HEAR THIS FROM ME, contains inspiring stories about Gadolim, Rabbonim, and present day talmidei chachamim. The unique thing about this book is that it tells the amazing stories of people whose written works have, at one time or another, been banned by the Orthodox community. It also tells the stories behind the banned publications.

That right, finally there is a book about banned books that’s already being banned before it comes out! Included are stores about such giants as the RAMBAM and the RAMCHAL. It also includes more recent stories about indviduals like Rabbi Naftali Zvi Yehuda Berlin (the Netziv), Rabbi Adin Steinsaltz, and Rabbi Noson Slifkin.

As a bonus the book also contains my award winning essay on The Catcher In The Rye, titled “Holden Caulfield- Phoniness, Angst, Rebellon, and other factors that lead to At-Risk-Teens and what we can do to bring them to Teshuva”.

Self-published copies of YOU DIDN’T HEAR THIS FROM ME are currently available for sale on eBay.

Freilichen Purim

New Product

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Are you tired of actually feeling anything when performing mitzvos?
Are you tired of not looking ‘frum enough’ for your friends, neighbors, or family members?
Do you long to give off the impression of being machmir on everything except menschlikeit?
Don’t you spend too much time thinking about your connection to your creator?
Then maybe you’re ready to try…


That’s right, it’s Frumda brand sweetener. Created in the Modern Uberdox lab just in time for Purim. It’s made from the finest Frumkeit available and, of course, leave a terrible taste in mouths of those you meet. Just add it your next cup of coffee and you’ll be ready to put absolutely no effort into your Yiddishkeit!!!

Freilichen Purim!!

The Starbucks memo and Purim

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Howard Schultz’s “Starbuck memo” finally made the news. It’s really more of a clarion call to get back to basics for the company. Here are several quotes I found interesting:

“Our stores no longer have the soul of the past and reflect a chain of stores vs. the warm feeling of a neighborhood store.”
“Some people even call our stores sterile, cookie cutter, no longer reflecting the passion our partners feel about our coffee. In fact, I am not sure people today even know we are roasting coffee.”

“We achieved fresh roasted bagged coffee, but at what cost? The loss of aroma – perhaps the most powerful non-verbal signal we had in our stores; the loss of our people scooping fresh coffee from the bins and grinding it fresh in front of the customer, and once again stripping the store of tradition and our heritage?”

“I take full responsibility myself, but we desperately need to look into the mirror and realize it’s time to get back to the core and make the changes necessary to evoke the heritage, the tradition and the passion that we all have for the true Starbucks experience,” he said.

“The merchandise, more art than science, is far removed from being the merchant that I believe we can be and certainly at a minimum should support the foundation of our coffee heritage. Some stores don’t have coffee grinders, French presses from Bodum, or even coffee filters.”
“I have said for 20 years that our success is not an entitlement and now it’s proving to be a reality. Let’s be smarter about how we are spending our time, money and resources. Let’s get back to the core. Push for innovation and do the things necessary to once again differentiate Starbucks from all others.”
At times I can see how my own Torah observance as become similar to the current ‘Starbucks experience’. I often wonder if I have become victim of ‘cookie-cutter chain-store’ Yiddishkeit?Has the ‘merchandise’ of my observance become more important that actual mitzvah observance? Has my personality been brushed aside to fit into a certain mold?
“Back to the core” is a phrase that Schultz uses twice. I his message to timely, as on Purim we also get “back to the core” as manifested in our reacceptance of the Torah.
We all come up with costumes for our kids and ourselves. Is more effort put into hiding who we are than revealing what is truly inside us?
As I look at the four mitzvos of Purim I realized they hint to some of the basics of Torah Judaism.
Hearing the reading of the Book of Esther: Not only listen, but understand what it says
Giving monetary gifts to the poor: Do a chessed for someone who needs it
Giving two prepared food gifts to at least one other person: Reach out for the sake of reaching out
Eating a festive Purim meal: Let your soul and body serve Hashem with joy.
I’ve always found in interesting that one can fullfill the mitzvah of shaloch manos with two different types of food that fall under the same bracha (like a can of Coke and some prepared salmon). From a bracha point a view the foods are the same, yet have very different characteristics. Each person is also, on the surface, similar, yet we each have different personalities.
As I experience Purim this year I’m looking forward to getting back to my core! Have a safe and Freilichen Purim and may we see our galus end today!
Howard Schultz’s memo can be read here.
Another good read is a recent posting by A Simple Jew titled Doing What We Do Best.
_________________________

Added parsha bonus:
This weeks’ parsha deals with the bedgai kenuna and specifically the extra four accessories worn by the Kohen Gadol. Sefer HaChinuch (mitzvah 99) states that the Kohen Gadol would only wear his garments on Yom Kippur. It was then put away and the following year he wore a new one. I believe the reasoning behind this was so he would become desensitzed to the importance of wearing the clothing of the Kohen Gadol.
We all have some favorite piece of clothing. It could be a sweater, shirt, or a pair of shoes. Imagine how we’d feel if we could only wear it once a year?
Mitzvos are often referred as ‘clothing for the neshama’. I use this lesson from the Chinuch to try to have a feeling of newness to those mitzvos that I perform everyday. It’s not easy, and most of the time I fall short of my goal, but I attempt. Gut Shabbos Kodesh

C’mon, Get Happy!

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(I hope someone gets this posting title)

Gut Chodesh. I usually have to remind myself that happiness should be a given. Adar just happens to be a month when it’s easier to receive the natural simcha that is available to me all the time.
Rabbi Akiva Tatz defines happiness as the natural expression of your neshama doing what its’ created to do. I don’t let myself have fun enough. I often let most aspects of my life become way too serious. I hope to work on this during Chodesh Adar and loosen up a bit.
Here’s a small list off the top of my head of things that happened during the past 36 hours that made me happy:
My kids being themselves and showing their personality
My wife laughing
My 4 yr old uberdaughter who lastnight started singing along to Hafachta
My 7 yr old uberson wanting to share something he learned on the parsha
My wife being happy soley because I am happy
When I read that Rav Nosson Tzvi Finkel zt’l, the Alter of Slabodka, would say that “he did not have a Yeshiva-one unit of hundreds of students, but rather he had hundreds of individuals.”
Being around good friends
Seeing our 4 month old smile for no reason what so ever
Eating my wife’s grilled chicken Caesar salad
Rav Hirsch writes in THE NINETEEN LETTERS that, “Happiness decreeded in accordance with compulsory, external standards ceases to be happiness.” (Second Letter)
What make you happy?

Pareve Coke Blak à la Uberdox

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I admit, I like Coke Blak (or as I call it among my friends ‘Coke BlakHat’). I tried it right when I got the “ok” from the cRc and the OU. I actually was the first to ask the cRc about it. One problem…it’s dairy.

This make it difficult for someone who eats/drinks Cholov Yisroel to enjoy this great drink.
This wasn’t an issue for me Shavuos night, as we ate dairy. The extra jolt really helped during my night of learning.

But I’ve often thought how much I’d enjoy Coke Blak with my chulent on Shabbos (or even in the chulent for a turbo charged treat).

I’ve found that taking a 12 oz can of Coke and adding an 1-2oz of black coffee give you about the same taste. And you can enjoy it with fleishigs!

The Menorah in the Window…

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I admit, this posting has been sitting in my head for over a week now. I thought it would float away, but it hasn’t.

I find myself constantly seeing menorahs in many different windows.

I actually started seeing them about 3 weeks ago. The first one was in Skokie, IL. The menorah was painted on the window of a pizzeria/sports bar. This menorah was, of course, accompanied by the familiar “Happy Chanuah” painted message, to their Jewish customers. I couldn’t decide if I was supposed to laugh or cry. Then I saw several more in other windows of completely non-kosher eating establishments.

The lighting of the menorah and a ‘traditional’ seder on Pesach are the two most common rituals among our not-yet-observant brothers and sisters. I’ve always thought it ironic that the lighting of the menorah is such a common tradition. The menorah is the symbol of Torah shebal peh, our Oral Law. Our acceptance of this Oral Law is a cornerstone in what helps define the Torah Observant Jew. Yet, it ends on some odd windows. Why?

I think that seeing a menorah painted on a window of “The Villiage Pizzeria” or Burger King does help our brothers and sisters connect with Judaism.
I recently was reading the Sfas Emes and found something amazing. He says that that certain wicks are pasul for use to light neiros on Shabbos, yet acceptable for use on Chanukah. The Sfas Emes says that Chanukah can penetrate a neshama in a way that Shabbos can’t. Chanukah reaches the essence of a yid.
The Thursday before Chanukah I had to go to the post office. The woman at the counter in front of me was having a conversation with the postal officer (who wasn’t going postal). It went like this…
Postal worker: Are you getting ready for the holidays?
Woman: Yeah, Chanukah starts tomorrow night. My boyfriend wants me to light the candles and the whole thing.
Postal worker: That must be nice.
Woman: I guess so. My boyfried isn’t Jewish, so the whole thing is new to him. The truth is that I really don’t want to do it. I haven’t said the blessings in years. I remember my mom mumbling the blessings, but she really didn’t know the words either. I guess I’ll fake it.
Sad, isn’t it? My 4 year old knows the brachos and even what the Greeks did to the Beis Hamikdash (“They put piggies in and stautes”). This grown adult doesn’t even know that much. It’s not her fault. She falls into the category of a Tinuk Shenishba.
I got out of line and ran to my car. I came back into the post office as the woman was leaving and said, “I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation. Would you like this box of candles. The blessings are in English on the back of the box.”
She smiled and said thanks. I don’t always carry extra candles with me (although I have in the past). I actually had just bought them for our kids, but it’s no big deal to give a 19 cent box of candles to another Jew.
I don’t write this to blow my own shofar. I write it make a point. What I did wasn’t special, it’s just my personality.
There are Jews everywhere who just don’t get it. They never had the opportunity to learn what we know. Or the learned it, but it was shoved down their throats and it tasted gross. Every day I daven for an opportunity to be a klei to bring others closer to Hashem. That day, I happened to have my eyes and ears open. It doesn’t always work out, but sometimes it does.
Last Shabbos night my son and I walked to shul the ‘long way’. I wanted to see some of the windows in our neighborhood. Home after home with menorahs in the windows. I said to my son, “I am very happy. Do you know why?”
He answered, “Because we live in Jewish neighborhood, and Baruch Hashem, there are a lot of menorahs around.”
He, of course, was right. Chanukah is almost over, but the reality is that where are always wicks that are waiting to be lit.

The 26th Yartzeit of Rav Hutner zt’l

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Today, the 20th of Kislev, is the Yarzeit of Rav Yitzchok Hutner, zt’l. In memory of the former Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshiva Chaim Berlin, there is an excellent article writen in the Yated. Here is an excerpt:
He never forgot the private individual; he gave of his soul to others and not just his time. Once, someone asked him for a decision in a complicated personal matter, and after a long while Rav Hutner told him he still did not have an answer. He explained: “In my Chumash it says, `Love your neighbor as yourself.’ This commandment requires a man to relate to a question from another as if it were his own question, and how he would behave in such a situation. True advice comes only from such empathy. You turned to me in your time of trouble, but it takes time until I can bring myself to live in your situation.”

Once, an avreich came to ask advice for a cure for the despair that bothered him in his avodas Hashem. Rav Hutner explained the difference between pain and despair: “Despair is being tired of living. Become alive and automatically there will be no place for despair! You can either emphasize the recognition of despair, or arouse the vitality that comes from faith in the holiness of a Jew in any situation that might be. If you live with this foundation of faith you will become living person!”
The entire article can be found here.

Over the years as I have met individuals who learned by Rav Hutner I have heard several lesser know stories about him. Here are a few:

On morning Rav Hutner took several of his tamidim from Chaim Berlin in his car (with his driver) for a ride to Prospect Park (Brooklyn) on a crisp October day. They got out of the car and walked to the pond in the middle of the park. Rav Hutner instructed the group of 3 bochrim to look at the lake and pointed out that you could see the bottom of the pond. “This mind of the Chazon Ish is as clear as this lake”, Rav Hutner said. Then they returned to Chaim Berlin.

Before shofar blowing (right before musaf) on Rosh Hashana, Rav Hutner once asked a student in the yeshiva to go check on another student who was in the dorms due to an illness. Of course the student when to check on his ill friend. After davening he returned to let the Rosh Yeshiva know about his sick classmate. As I heard it, the bochur asked Rav Hutner about the halachic problems of missing shofar on Rosh Hashana. Rav Hutner replied, “Do you think that on Rosh Hashana Hashem sees any difference between mitzvos bein adam l’chavero and bein adam l’makom?”

As yeshiva was let out late one afternoon several boys were standing in front of Chaim Berlin as the Rosh Yeshiva and his wife left the building and walked toward their car (which was waiting for them). One boy opened up the front door of the car for Rav Hutner and then opend up the be back door for the Rebbitzen. Rav Hutner looked at the the young man, tapped his cane on the ground (for effect) and said, in perfect Oxford English, “What, pray tell, do you think you are doing?”
The boy replied, “I just wanted to open the car door for the Rosh Yeshiva.”
Rav Hutner then said, “What makes you think that I don’t want to sit with my wife? Remember this: No one or nothing ever comes between a husband and a wife”.