Category Archives: Mussar

Must read post on Teshuva and George Steinbrenner

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Those who know me in real life will agree that I’m not a sports fan.  I sit at kiddush Shabbos morning and nod my head in agreement as the discussion turns to local sports.  The extent of my attempts to follow sports are mostly limited to any updates I hear on CBS radio in Chicago and now, due to being in aveilus, what I might hear on ESPN radio.  What attention I do pay to sports is only because my 5th grade son is a fanatic and I know that showing some involvement in sports allows the two us to “bond” (even though he’s fully aware that I really know nothing about sports).

So, of course, I was moved to read the mussar that I saw in this post by CJ Srullowitz that you can find here.

Rav Avraham Shorr shiur about Tisha B’Av (link)

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I am fairly stiff-necked.  What I mean is that I don’t like to change.  I like the idea of improvement and working on middos (thus my own gravitation towards Mussar), but this is mostly because I tend to resist change.

Last night I downloaded a shiur that, like it or not, is causing me to think about a number of things and might lead to change.  If you’ve ever seen or heard Rav Avraham Schorr, then you know that he tends to tell it like its, but with a level of clarity that few have in our generation, IMHO.

The shiur I downloaded regarding Tisha B’Av is available from TorahLectures.com, here.

Constructive Solutions to where the middos have gone…

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Last week the Jewish Press ran an article titled “Where Have All Our Middos Gone?”
The article has generated some buzz and this week the Jewish Press printed a fantastic letter to the editor written by R Micha Berger.
The letter can be found here, by scrolling down the page or you
can just read this:

Constructive Solutions

Re: Soferet Dugri’s front-page essay “Where Have All Our Middos Gone?”

I agree this is a burning question. Perhaps it is the greatest issue we must address today for our own souls, as well as to stem the tide of children choosing to leave Orthodoxy. And how much easier kiruv would be if people exploring Torah observance didn’t encounter such situations, either first hand or in the newspapers?

But rather than lament the loss of middos in the frum world, let’s do something about it! We can benefit from centuries of conceptual development and techniques for improving our middos. Notably R’ Yisrael Salanter and the Mussar movement produced an actual plan one can follow to create a middos-centered Judaism. R’ Shlomo Wolbe, zt”l, has step-by-step instructions in Alei Shur, Volume II, Section 2, for running groups that work on their middos together.

We at the AishDas Society (www.aishdas.org) have experience setting up such programs, and would be happy to help your shul or community get started. We can also assist with one-off events such as providing speakers, a shul Shabbaton or Yom Iyun, etc. Feel free to contact us at the above site for more information.

In Highland Park, New Jersey, there is an initiative called ACTT (www.actt613.org), an applied approach to working on one’s middos that has the support of the community’s rabbis. Look into that as well.

Haven’t we gotten beyond the point where just acknowledging a problem exists is considered a step forward? If we continue to sit around lamenting the situation rather than working to fix it, things won’t ever actually improve.

Rabbi Micha Berger
(Via E-Mail)

Yizkor

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This past Pesach was the first time that I, along with my brother, recited  Yizkor for my father a’h. While the text of Yizkor is moving, the idea behind it is that we should donate to a charity in memory of a loved on, as a merit for their soul (I donated to my shul and also to an organization dedicated towards Jewish self-growth).

Being able to say Kaddish daily, in all honesty, helps keep me thinking about my father.  Minyan attendance has always been a struggle for me, but I’m hanging in there.  For those who have moved past period of aveilus, I can see how saying Yizkor, helps them keep the memory of a loved one “alive”.

For me, I’ve found that dedicating a mussar chevrusa in my father’s memory has also been comforting. It’s a measurable way that I know I’m doing something.  Just last week, someone donated a gift certificate to a Jewish book store to me, with the intent that I should purchase a Pirkei Avos (Ethics of the Fathers) to learn in memory of my father. I was touched by this gesture especially because the person who made the donation has asked remained anonymous. 

I’m sure that whatever charity dontated, mitzvos performed, or learning that one does in zechus of a neshama allows one to connect with the memories of those who has gone on to the Olam HaEmes.