Category Archives: lessons

My Cup is Half Full…

My Cup is Half Full

I love coffee. It’s common knowledge among those who know me. One of the perks at my job is that the coffee machine is calibrated with filtered water (it makes a difference, really) and the water-to-coffee-ratio is perfect. The decanter holds a standard 40 ounces. Only one problem, we’ve got these 16 ounce cups by the coffee machine. Basically for every pot brewed we get 2 1/2 cups of coffee. Today I made a pot, went back to my desk, and then 3 minutes later got up to get some bean. Much to my dismay, the coffee decanter was empty (again). With determination, I made another pot. I watched it brew and thought about how quickly this batch of coffee will disappear. I then made a choice. Not a big life-changing choice, but I did go against my natural inclination. I only filled my cup half way. Let someone else get a shtickel more coffee in their cup, I thought. I really wanted that full cup of coffee. Things don’t work out the way we usually want them to (more on this in a future post, bli eyen hora). But, they usually balance out. Yesterday being the case.

I had a great 4th of July. Spent time with my Modern Uberdox wife and kids. Got to take my kids swimming, had a great BBQ with my neighbors, and then joined my neighbors and a few other friends for a spectacular fireworks display. My wife did me the chessed she does for me every year… she told me what colors the fireworks were. I’m red-green color blind, you see. While I can tell the colors in a traffic light, I get lost when it comes to fireworks. All in all, a great day. If I end up not getting the cup of coffee I wanted at work in the morning…no problem. I know I can’t approach every issue that comes up in life the way I dealt with my “half cup of coffee”. But, I’ll try to remember how good I felt doing a chessed for someone else.

The Catskills…Ablaze with Chessed

I am a big fan of good news and seeing the tov in things. It happens to be something I daven for everyday. I couldn’t help but smile when I read the following story posted today from the Jewish Week, http://www.thejewishweek.com/news/newscontent.php3?artid=12346.

It’s sad that this fire didn’t seem to make it into the media as much as the fire in Boro Park a few weeks ago. It must have been the worst feeling for those guests, erev Pesach to have to start worrying about where they would spend Yom Tov. Baruch Hashem, other hotels opened their doors and their hearts to those displaced yidden. During the time of Sefiras Ha’Omer we are given an opportunity to prepare ourselves to receive the Torah. The act of chessed whick took place in the Catskills is a great start. It serves as in inspiration to me.

There were police, firemen, Jews, and a fire. No rioting, no massive blogging about Chillul Hashem, no pointing the finger. Just Jews helping Jews. Rabbi Akiva would have approved.

The Mussar from a Haircut
Wecome to my first entry.
I got my pre-Pesach haircut yesterday. As a newcomer to Chicago, someone recommended a gentleman in my neighborhood, West Rogers Park. I walked in, sat down, and we started talking. He told me he gives haircuts to alot of orthodox people. In fact, he’s cut hair for 3 years olds, post-upsherin, (inlcuding kids that belong to some of my closest friends. Well, after the cut was finished, he held up the mirror, so I could take a look at the final product. “Now you look like a mentch. Of course, it’s not hard to look like a mentch, is it?” he said.

I was stunned. You know, he’s right. He’s never learned in cheder or opened a copy of Mesilas Yesharim. In fact, my new barber isn’t Jewish. This man who sees frum Jews 5 days a week for a living touched on a cornerstone of my Hashkafa. Acting like a Mentch is just as, if not more, important than looking like a Mentch. Klal Yisroel seems to have forgotten this. Just look at what happened last week in Boro Park. Or look at the person in the grocery store fighting with some for as space in line (especially before Pesach). What happened to being a Mentch Yisroel (for the Rav Hirsh fans reading this)?

My conversation at the barbershop sent me back in time almost 16 years ago. I was at YU and it was right after Lag B’Omer. Like everyone else it was time for haircut. I walked a few blocks and found a place that seemed off the beaten path. I had been sitting in the barber’s chair for about 2 minutes when in came Rabbi Dovid Lifshitz, Z”TL, the Suvalker Rav, and his shamash.
Reb Dovid, as he was known, sat next to me, and I froze. I had seen him around YU, heard about him, but never had any contact with someone of his caliber. “Nice day for a haircut”, he said. He then proceeded to ask me my name, where I was from, what brought me to YU, etc. He was interested in who I was. He didn’t mention anything about himself, except introducing himself to me as one of the teachers at YU.

Acting like a Mentch is just as, if not more, important than looking like a Mentch. My barber knew this, and Reb Dovid embodied it. What can we do to promote this lost yesod of yiddishkeit?