In the INSPIRED PARENTING shiurim given by R Moshe Weinberger (tape 7), I found a very meaningful eitzah in what my mindset should be when speaking with my children, especially when I might be tempted to get angry at them.

R Weinberger, based on the writings of Rav Zilberberg, says that when you get angry at your kids or have to discipline them you should try to visualize them as teens, or even adults, with children of their own. When you think about lossing your patience because you son hadn’t finished part of his homework or you daughter can’t decide exactly what she wants for breakfast remember that you are not only losing patience with a child, but with the future father or mother of your own grandchildren, and all the future generations within your family. This, to me, is a very powerful thought.

Can we even think about our own kids as bubbies and zaidies? Would we lose our cool at someone who is 60, 70, or 80 years old over something that really isn’t worth it in the end? In the heat of the moment I need to remember that before isn’t just a shayna maidel or a mentch-Yisrael, it’s the source of my family’s future.