Time moves faster than me

I checked my recent writing history today and the last legit post of mine was really 3.5 years ago. For some that’s a long chunk of time. In that time I have seen my kids grow older, starting with my son who is returning next week from his first post high school year learning in Eretz Yisrael, to my oldest daughter officially a senior in high school, to our youngest daughter now having the status of an 8th grader.

I have seen my wife and I go through not so fun times, grown closer together, sat shiva and been in an aveilus for my mother (erev Pesach 2018). I have spent hours over the past few years exploring abandonments, yet not truly exploring the special חלק אלוק ממעל, chelek Elokei mi’maal, that portion of Hashem from above that is with me. I say I am exploring myself, but I don’t think that’s really the case.

I’ve listened, learned, read things that have helped me to continue my growth in Torah and avodas Hashem. I have gone from a state of total social withdrawal from friend to a point where I am on the footpath toward bridges. I have laughed and cried over meaningless things in 2 Avengers movies. I have experienced the death of a former NCSYer/friend.

If I had to pick a highlight of the past year it is seeing my daughter grow as people. I am nervous to see what changes have taken place with my son, but I have a whole summer to spend with him.

Without any pretense I feel that I haven’t changed. I am still a slave to habits, not so nice stellar middos, and a fixed mindset. Despite all my davening and learning I still find it a struggle to redirect these behaviors to something good.

With all that I sit erev Shabbos and write, because, “I don’t have the strength to remain silent,” to quote Rav Kook zya.

6 thoughts on “Time moves faster than me

  1. Mr. Cohen

    Lord Ian Livingston of England said:

    “Whilst the Israeli Defense Forces are not
    perfect, the obsession of focusing on them
    despite being the most moral and professional
    army in the Middle East is very strange.”

    SOURCE: Ten Baroness Tonge
    Pilloried at House of Lords Session She Initiated
    on Israel’s Treatment of Palestinian Children

    by Benjamin Kerstein, 2019 July 8, The Algemeiner

  2. Mr. Cohen

    Mr. Ali Adi [an Arab who lives in Israel] said:

    If you ask any one of them [Arabs] during a casual
    conversation, even the biggest hater of Israel will tell you
    honestly that they prefer a conflict with Jews to a conflict
    with other Arabs, which would naturally result in brutal,
    unchecked bloodshed.

    The Arab citizens of Israel will admit that they prefer
    the Israeli government to an Arab one, even if from
    their comfortable positions at Israeli universities
    they prefer to call it “the occupation.”

    I Embrace My Israeli Arab Identity by Ali Adi 2019 September 1

  3. Mr. Cohen

    Mr. John Rossomando said:

    “[IUMS Trustee Sheikh Hassan Ould] Aldo
    and the [Muslim] Brotherhood use language
    similar to what Hamas used in its original charter,
    which rejected any peaceful coexistence.

    To them, Palestine is part of a waqf, a holy
    Islamic trust, that no person can negotiate away.”

    SOURCE: Muslim Brotherhood,
    Hamas: No Peace as Long as Israel Exists

    by Mr. John Rossomando, 2019 July 1


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