Sometimes remaining silent just lets you refocus

speechIt’s been almost a year since I’ve actually written a post on Modern Uberdox. I wish I could say that it’s because I’ve been writing a book, spending free time learning ,spending time on family, spending time on my career, or spending time in the gym. It’s some of the above, but not enough of any of the above to really yield real results. I’ve been adrift, alone. Not physically alone, but simply floating my boat here and there. Why write right now? I was looking up something online and one of the hits happened to be Modern Uberdox, the old pre-WordPress version (with updated links to make you think). I was sort of taken back, because when I read the post that came up in the search it was solid. No fluff, no sensationalism, no references to taboo subjects within frum life.

So, here I go again. No daily posts, but no silence for weeks or months on end, either. There are things that I need to write (because if I said most of them, my kids wouldn’t get any play dates and my wife would be more embarrassed by me than usual). I have thought about disabling comments, since most of my posts rarely get much feedback, but I won’t. If you read something that I write (not this, but, like, in the future) then take it. Grab it, put it in your pocket, wallet, Coach bag, laptop bag, or padfolio. Chew on it and figure out how to make it into something that might help with your own Avodah. Bring it into the real world,. Use it when you deal with friends, family, or the creepy dude at Starbucks who always comes over to you (because you are Jewish) and says, “Shalom.” The quote below was the original quote that was the header when I started blogging. Right now, it seems more relevant than ever to me.

“I write not because I have the strength to write, but because I do not have the strength to remain silent.” -Rav Avraham Yitzchok Kook zt’l

3 thoughts on “Sometimes remaining silent just lets you refocus

  1. micha

    A former neighbor of mine (Doodie Miller, former Director of Operations at YU’s University School Partnership) coined a verb for what “the creepy dude at Starbucks who always comes over to you … and says, ‘Shalom”, or the woman behind you on line who wants to know in mid Feb when Pesach is coming — “bageling”.

    Philologos covered it here: http://forward.com/articles/186101

    Reply
  2. Moishela

    BS”D
    Discussion with Moishela (with his family)
    A Handicapped child
    3 Av 5774 (July 29, ’14)

    “We Must Prepare Ourselves To Be Unblemished Sacrifices”

    Since the last time that I wrote, much has happened. The world has almost turned up-side-down. Besides the war that we are having here in Eretz Yisroel, many other wars have begun and the world has become a much more dangerous and frightening place. One of the reasons that it is so frightening, besides the fact that these wars are cruel, shooting, killing wars, with blood flowing freely, besides that fact, what frightens us the most is that much of what is happening today simply doesn’t work according to a logical mind, a normal logical mind. Pieces are missing from the puzzle that should be evident. We don’t know who the good guy is. We don’t know who the bad guy is. We don’t know from one minute to the other who is on whose side. Suddenly there are certain things that are uncovered that we had no inkling had ever been in existence, and they tell us in the highest places with the most knowledgeable of people so-to-speak that it has been there for the last ten, twenty, fifty years festering and growing and becoming monstrosities, and we scratch our heads and say how in the world did that happen. How did it become so bad? How come it came upon us in such a sudden way? How come no one knew, and if they knew, how come no one did anything?

    We trust the governments to make sure that all our medications are not dangerous to us. We trust the courts that they will give everybody a fair shake so-to-speak. We trust the doctors that they will give us the right diagnosis. We trust the economists that tell us that things are looking up financially, or they give us advice how to invest. We trust all the different aspects of the Egel Hazahav, but we don’t trust the Truth. The Truth is Hakodosh Boruch Hu, and we trust man more than the Truth with a capital T. I know that we are coming very close to Moshiach. I know that we’re soon going to throw off the bonds of this terrible Golus. I know that only those who recognize Truth, with a capital T will ever be able to live in a world of the Truth with a capital T, and therefore I want to explain to you that things look jumbled and not logical because it’s not the Truth. It’s not the way the world was created.

    What is happening today, it’s going against the Truth. Its degenerate, and its pulling us into a degenerate mode, and its taking over the whole world, and we have to resist. The only way to stop it is to recognize that something is very wrong here and we’re hanging on to the wrong lifesaver for dear life. We think we have a rubber tube to float on the water and be saved, but we don’t. It’s full of lead and it’s going to bring us down to the bottom of the sea, Chas Vesholom. What does Hashem want from us? How can we survive this terrible calamity, this evilness that has oozed out from every corner of the world that nobody realized existed in such a tremendous force? How can we survive all this? Who are we, only puny people without any strength. How can we survive this terrible, terrible flood of degeneracy? There is only one way. We have to prepare ourselves.

    We have to prepare ourselves now to greet Moshiach. We have to prepare ourselves to be perfect sacrifices, and yes I did say Korbanos Shleimos, and we have to be Shaleim, Shaleim or at least try very hard to be Shalem. If we don’t get to Shleimus, Hashem will make the Shleimus, but it will be so difficult and so hard, and cause us much pain, no less pain than an operation, only it will be a spiritual operation which can be much more painful than a physical operation. There’s no anesthetic for this kind of operation, and we’ll feel every single pain, so we must prepare ourselves to be Korbanos to be as pure as possible. Don’t get too frightened. I don’t mean that we’re all going to die Al Kiddush Hashem. I mean that Hashem wants us to live Al Kiddush Hashem, and He wants us to be as perfect as possible, and the way to become as perfect as possible is to trust Hashem completely. Trust everything He demands from us. Do not question one thing that He demands from us. We want to do His complete Ratzon. I’m not saying that we will be able to get to that high level, but we have to make a really, really good try for it. We have to really, really put our minds, hearts, and soul, and our bodies into this great endeavor, probably the greatest endeavor ever.

    Yitzchok Avinu was a perfect Korbon. He was a Korbon Shaleim. His father was ready to listen to Hakodosh Boruch Hu and sacrifice his only son. The only son that could continue and become the father of Am Yisroel, one of the fathers. Only Yitzchok could do that. He was willing to die because Hashem said so. That is the kind of Bitachon we have to have. In the end it was enough that Yitzchok allowed himself to be tied onto the Mizbayach so that he wouldn’t squirm when the knife came to his throat. He put his throat out so it would be easier for his father when he had to do the Shechting, and he was happy to do Hashem’s will, and Avraham Avinu didn’t hesitate once to Shecht his only son, because Hakodosh Boruch Hu wanted it, and he knew that everything that Hakodosh Boruch Hu does is for our good. He also knew that nothing that we have, nothing that we think we own, no child of ours is really ours. Nothing is ours. Everything is His, and we too are His, and that’s the way you achieve Shleimus.

    You have to be sure in every way that Hashem is Hakol Yachol and whatever He does is absolutely perfect for us, and will be the best thing for us no matter how much it makes us suffer, because our suffering is only an illusion. It’s from our twisted desires and we have to realize that this world is only a very short visit for us, and then we go to the next world. But now we won’t go to the next world. Im Yirtzeh Hashem, we’ll go straight to Olam Habah of Moshiach.

    So now my dear Yidden, be strong. It’s time to change. It’s time to take account of our lives, each part of our lives, and try to be much better because if we don’t do this we’re going to be in big trouble. I beg you, make an accounting. Balance your checkbook with Hashem. Find what you owe Him, and find what you think He owes you, and I‘m sure that we all will find that we are deeply, deeply in debt, and that we need to show Hashem how we love and trust Him, how we will do anything in the world that He asks us, even if it means our lives. That’s what we have to show Him. We are going to be called upon as Jews to be tested in the most difficult ways, and we must be close to Him. We must take out of ourselves all the superficial nonsense of this world of lies, of this world of Egel Hazahav, of this world of illusions and come to the truth. Its very frightening because all of your, what you call regular lives, is going to be totally, totally different. You’re going to have to give up things that have become out of disproportionately important to you, and you’re going to have to take from your heart all the petty nonsense that you so come to depend on to help you pass time in a superficial way. You are going to have to deal with the truth. It’s very frightening, and our lives will change. The great wealth that this so-called western world has known is going to vanish. It’s going to be gone. We are going to have to learn to live in a much more simple way, and that will help us become closer to Hashem. It is happening now already, and World War Three has begun already, and I think we can all see it, and it is going to spread. It’s going to become a great, great war, a great and frightening war, and I know that all true Jews will know that what I am saying now is true. Prepare yourselves my dear Jews, my dear Yidden. Hashem loves you and wants you back wants you back with Him. This is a lowly generation but the Jewish heart and soul is still here and on that Jewish heart and soul of every single Yid will be built Olam Habah of Moshiach.

    Q: Why don’t you sleep at night?
    A: I don’t sleep at night because I know that in the not so far future we’re really going to have to trust Hashem. We are going to realize that food and clothing and shelter will not be forthcoming so easily at all, and we will have to trust Hashem. When I say we I’m talking about the whole world. I’m talking about every single person in the world except those few who think that they can rule instead of Hashem, Chas Veshololm, but we will be the winners because in the end Hashem will banish them into nonexistence and we will get all the benefits. We will not starve to death and we will not be out in the cold if we trust in Hashem, if we trust the fact that He is Hakol Yachol.

    That’s why I cry, because I know it’s going to be very hard for many Yidden, and by the way do you realize how much of the world is going to be destroyed, Hashem Yishmor? It is said so clearly in the Nevuas. Do you realize what a shock that is? I don’t think there will be any CNN around to be able to photograph it, but what can I tell you? Just thinking about the shock of it is enough to make me cry, cry for Am Yisroel, cry for the whole world. The Reshaim are playing their sinister games of murder and bloodshed. They are such foolish people especially the Goyim the Jews are also being foolish because we are not coming close to the Truth, to Hakodosh Boruch Hu. We have made our whole lives superficial Yiddishkeit and all I can do is cry over it. We have split up into millions of factions instead of being one with Hashem, but Hashem will teach us. He loves us. He wants to save us, but we’re making it very hard on ourselves.

    Just remember that according to many great Torah sources most of the Jews of this generation, the generation just before the Geula Sheleima, will be Erev Rav. They can be Frum or secular but not true Jews and they will try to pull us away from the Truth.

    Yes my crying has to do with Am Yisroel. I’m so worried. It’s not so simple. We have to be strong and we have to be without blemish.

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  3. Moishela

    BS”D
    Discussion with Moishela (with his family)
    A Handicapped child
    3 Cheshvan 5775 (Oct 26, ’14)

    “The Noose Is Getting Tighter”

    The world has absolutely gone mad, absolutely mad. Murder, accidents, weather related deaths, riots, plagues, Mamash a very scary world. Every day something new. Every day something more bloody. Every day more and more deaths. Every day we become more and more frightened.

    The noose is getting tighter and tighter around us, and the worst part about it is that no one seems to feel it except a very few. Very few people feel it at all. Either they don’t want to feel it so they ignore it, or they are really in some very strong daze or under some kind of drug that keeps them from seeing what is happening. It doesn’t even have to be medication, although I would imagine that in the western world at least 50% of the people are on some kind of psychiatric medication. They drug themselves on Gashmius on materialism so they won’t know, so they won’t feel, so they won’t be afraid. What is happening is frightening because the world is beginning to feel the effects of being ruled by a group of absolute maniacs, of people that are evil to their bone. They are planning crazy things and thinking they can get away with it, thinking that they can turn the world into their private domain, that they can take the Jewish people and turn them into Goyim. Their greatest goal that they want to achieve is they want to destroy, to kill nine-tenths of the world population. What can I tell you? We Yidden are being targeted. Our faith is being targeted, and we must, must come back to Hashem in order to stop it.

    I have dreams, I have such frightening dreams every night. I see cities being blown up. I see all kinds of terrible things happening. I see wild men killing and plundering. I see planes shooting and bombing. I see people dying of thirst and hunger, and I cry and I cry. I am so nervous and so afraid, not for myself – for my family and for Am Yisroel, how terrible, how terrible. I’m not even giving you the details of what I see but it’s very very frightening! I don’t know how to pass on to my fellow Jews through what I am writing, the difficult things we still have to face.

    How can I beg? How can I plead with Am Yisroel to open their eyes, to get rid of the Gashmius, to stop looking like street people, to start looking again like Jews, to start acting again like Jews? I’m talking to the Frum. What else can I say to you? What else can I do? If you read over everything I’ve said to this point, you should already be doing Teshuva in the strongest way, but I see in the streets that people are buying and buying things that are not necessary. I see that they are making fancy parties and fancy Chasunas and things that are not necessary. I see and I feel that children are growing up to love, to lust after Gashmius. I see how we are eating like gluttons, but have become very very weak in our Mitzvos and it makes me cry. Now we are facing the most horribly difficult time in history and we’re messing around with nonsense.

    What can I say? What can I do? I’m only a young person with an old head and an old heart, but I can tell you this: you better straighten up fast. You better get your act together because the suffering is going to be unbelievable if not, and if you take yourself in hand then you can save yourself so much suffering, so much misery. Do you understand? People, do you understand? You can save yourselves so much suffering, but if not it will be unimaginable suffering. I’m begging you. I’m begging you. Put your trust in Hashem not in people, not in science, not in chief rabbis, or in heads of state. Put your trust only in Hashem, only in Hashem, only in Hashem. We have to be like the Yidden that left Mitzrayim and spent forty years in the desert. We have to be like that. We have to have that kind of trust of Hashem without question, no matter what happens, no questions asked. We must know in our hearts and our souls that it’s all for our good, it’s to help us go higher, to help us reach the next stage of Creation which is Olam Habah of Moshiach Tzidkainu, and our journey upwards, to total salvation, to completely become one with Hashem. That’s what I have to say.

    I’m afraid that my words have become useless because people have become used to listening to them, even though they are harsh and they are strong and people see around them terrible things happening, but they are getting used to it. They want their Gashmius more than they want to listen. So I will say a few more sentences to make sure you understand. Please, please do Teshuva. Change your way of life. Become Tzniusdik, the men and the women. Trust Hashem in everything. Don’t go looking outside of your Daled Amos for the Yeshua. The Yeshua is only with Hashem, only with Hashem. In the near future we are going to witness very bloody happenings, very frightening and very bloody. Here in Eretz Yisroel there will be more riots and more trouble, but in Chutz La’aretz it will be really bad, really bad.

    Between now and Chanukah we are going to have a rush of incidents all over the world, that will put great fear into most of the population of the world. You won’t know where to look first, up, down, left, right. Everywhere there will be trouble big big trouble. Hashem is trying to show us that the inevitable must be and that means that we are coming very close to the Geula Sheleima, and the hardest part of this birth is now and therefore you can either have an easy birth or a very difficult one. It’s your choice.

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