Category Archives: Mussar

Sunday’s Spark of Mussar

1 Reply

Rav Nosson Finkel, the Alter of Slabodka

The Chofetz Chaim was amazed by the way R’ Nosson Zvi transformed people.  “This craft can be practiced by R’ Nosson Zvi along.  We accept talmidim who are faithful and raise them to Torah and fear of G-d; but R’ Nosson Zvi accepts unworthy talmidim and turns them into G-d fearing scholars.  I create books; R’ Nosson Zvi creates people.”

From Sparks of Mussar by R Chaim Ephraim Zaitchik

Never Lose Your Head

Leave a reply

The following, found in the Artscroll Pirkei Avos:  Sfas Emes and other Chassidic Masters, has been on my mind recently:  


R’ Chanoch Henach of Alexander relates the following story…
A hoplessly diorganized fool determined to organize his life by recording the whereabouts of all his belongings.   Before going to sleep, he dutifully wrote:   “My clothing is hanging in the closet, my shoes are beside my bed and my head is in my bed (under the covers).”  Upon arising, he found his clothing and shoes exactly where he had specified but his head was nowhere to be found-not even in his bed!  The mussar haskil of the story:  It is not sufficient for peripheral matters to be in place, unless my head, the core of my all my thoughts and actions, is also in place (Maggidei HaEmes).


I know, for myself, that when I’m busy I tend to focus on the details of what I’m doing.  At times, those details tend to overshadow the real goals that I’m aiming for.  It’s the story above that I think about when I find myself spending more time than needed on any given task.  Rav Simcha Zissel Ziv, the Alter of Kelm, taught that when getting ready to perform a mitzvah one needs to “take time, be exact, and unclutter the mind”.  In order to clear one’s head, you first need to know where your head is!

Sunday’s Spark of Mussar

Leave a reply

Rav Yosef Yozel Hurwitz, the Alter of Novhardok

If you see that someone came to the station after the train he wanted had already left, do not say that the man was late and missed his train, but that he cam early for the next train.  For everything is in the hands of Heaven.

From Sparks of Mussar by R Chaim Ephraim Zaitchik

55th Yartzeit of Rav Dessler

2 Replies
Tonight marks the 55th Yartzeit of Rav Eliyahu Eliezer Dessler.  I could write a lengthly post about Rav Dessler and the impact that Michtav Me’Eliyahu has had and continues to have on this blogger, but I won’t.

Firstly, at this point, I don’t feel that I can do justice to the memory of Rav Dessler.  Secondly, as important as the Torah was that was taught by Rav Dessler, the example he set by being a ba’al Mussar might even outflank the galdlus of his writings.  He lived in an era when teaching Torah wasn’t just confined to the walls of the yeshiva or classroom.  Torah was who he was.  There was no issues of guy’vah or kavod when it came to Rav Dessler, only anavah.  Maybe it had to do with his chinuch and his family history (he was a great-great-grandson of R Yisrael Salanter)?  I tend to think that back then kavod wasn’t what mattered.  What mattered was what you had learned and how you applied that learning.

This example is from the wonderful biography of Rav Dessler by R Yononson Rosenblum:

Sunday morning, the day of the levayah [for his wife], Rabbi Dessler was found polishing his shoes.  Rabbi Dessler explained, “She was always meticulous that my clothes shoudl be spotless before I left the house, and now I’m fulfilling her will.” (based on a page 340)

It wasn’t just that that was the way he and his wife were taught in Kelm.  It was the way his wife wanted him to be.  That the image you project on the outside is only a reflection of the inside.  Maybe that is the emes that Rav Dessler taught us to strive for.

Identity Theft

Leave a reply
It didn’t happen overnight.  It was a gradual change.  The essencials that made up who I was seemed to slip away.

An ambush, probably.  A covert operation, if you will.  I couldn’t really say when it first happened.  I do know that at somepoint I did or said something and realized that “this isn’t me.”

On of the biggest weapons of the Yetzer Hora is to make us forget who we are.  It could, in fact, be the biggest Yetzer Hora out there.  This mode of attack is based on making us forget or become desensitized to the fact that each of us are a child of the King of Kings.  This happens when we become to comfortable with ourselves, our abilities, and our hopes.  It’s an attack that hurts, an attack that confuses us (which is the main goal of the Yetzer Hora) from different angles:  our goals, our motivations, our enthusiasm, and our accomplishments.

And to make things worse, when this happens to me and I reflect on it (after the fact) I’m almost impressed with the tactics used by this Yetzer Hora.  It’s not that I forget about the King, chas veshalom, because that would be too easy.  No, it’s not an attack against Hashem.  It’s simply forgetting that I’m the son of the King.  It’s the impression that I have no connection or invitation to the Kedusha, the Torah, or the Mitzvos that Hashem created for me.  That’s the knock-out punch.

Games

1 Reply
(Photo from Fractal Press)
Games.  Some people love them and others can’t stand playing them.  I like some games (like Blokus, Go, Nok Hockey, and the song “Games” by Husker Du), but I’m not a fan of people who play psychological games with others.
I do like Jenga.  I’ve liked it since college.  I like the fact that you can play it with a group and that you can even just play with it alone and it’s just a challenging.  I have found two very important Mussar lessons in playing Jenga.
Firstly:  Every action we do has an effect.  The effect can either be to build or knock down.  This is very true when it comes to what we say to people and how we act.  A smille, kind word, inquiry into how one is feeling, or simply saying “Hello” can have a major impact on someone.  A simple action on a Mitzvah level has untold effects both in this world and the next (this book is a prime example).  A negative look or remark can destroy even the strongest person.
Secondly:  Even if something topples or gets knocked down, you can start again.  That’s
what Teshuva is all about.  It’s not the end of the world if the game ends or right at a critical point in a high pressured game of Jenga with your older kids your 2 yr old uber-toddler decides to “touch the tower”, and it all comes falling down.  It’s just a game.  You can just start over and maybe the next time you’ll win.

Am I reading too much into a simple game of Jenga?  Probably so, but I’m always looking for a lesson to learn in everything.

Sunday’s Spark of Mussar

1 Reply

Rav Nosson Ziv Finkel, the Alter of Slabodka

The cough of a talmud broke into a Mussar shmuse.  R’ Nosson Zvi immediately stopped speaking, and asked who had coughed.  When no one replied, he complained that no one cared about it, and asked in amazement, “If someone cries, do you also remain silent?”

From Sparks of Mussar by R Chaim Ephraim Zaitchik